Home
by H. S. Hines
Summary: The crew of Voyager encounters a strange young girl from the Delta Quadrant who may hold the clue for getting home. Meanwhile, a murderous race of beings is carving a path of death through space. Complete, AU. FEMMESLASH, Bx7.
1. Prologue 1

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Jessica is mine, lock, stock and whatever follows..._

_Author's Notes: This is an alternative reality piece, so events in all series Star Trek have been changed, just to warn off any people thinking they see inconsistencies with the show. Specific instance which is especially noted: The USS Voyager left in pursuit of the renegade Maquis ship one year later than noted in the series (2372 instead of '71), but stardates will remain the same to maintain continuity within the series. Any references to B'Elanna's past will ignore the inconsistencies between "Faces", "Extreme Risk" and "Lineage" sending "Lineage" events back in time to when B'Elanna was six years old, giving her that extra year with her father that was supplied by "Extreme Risk." This prologue is set in Voyager's first season, between the episodes 5 ("The Cloud") and 6 ("Eye of the Needle")._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Rating: M  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please

_Extra Disclaiming Note: All chapter titles are NOT owned by me and are owned, respectively, by the bands who wrote/played them and their record companies. This story originally began being published on Voq Je Bang in January, 2001. Almost six years ago, so that's why it's a little immature in the writing. I hope it's still enjoyable!_

**Home, Prologue 1**

_Stardate 48549.7_

_Somewhere in the Delta Quadrant..._

…

Captain Janeway screamed at Tuvok to return fire as she was flung halfway across the bridge. She lay for a moment with the wind knocked out of her, gathering herself. A hand on her arm was pulling her to her feet. She coughed as the air rushed back into her lungs and looked up into the worried face of Tom Paris.

"You alright, ma'am?"

"Just fine, Mr. Paris, back to your station."

"Can't do that, ma'am." Janeway glanced over at the demolished helm and cursed. But she realized suddenly, as she looked around the twisted bridge, that the firing had ceased and all was quiet. The red alert light pulsed in the dark room and gasses hissed as they escaped from their usual paths. The stench of burnt machinery and flesh filled her nose and she coughed again.

"Direct hit, Captain." Janeway looked at Tuvok, standing at his post, despite the repeated failures of the inertial dampeners. A green slash bled Vulcan blood from his forehead into his eyes. Despite the irritation it must have caused, he didn't wipe it away. "They have been disabled."

"Damage report."

"Hull breaches on decks two, four, and eight through ten. The turbolift system is down, propulsion system off-line. Engineering is reporting instability in the core," Harry stopped and shouted, "Damn! We just lost the comm system." He looked up helplessly, dark hair falling limply into his eyes, which pleaded with the captain.

"Are we still receiving the distress signal?" Chakotay asked calmly. Harry punched buttons on his console, accessing the information.

"Yes. But now it's automated."

"Can you tell if, whoever it is, is still alive?" Again, Harry checked his console, reviewing the sensors at his captain's request.

"I'm reading one very faint life sign from that area. Life support is non-operational there." He looked up at the captain for instructions.

"Can you transport them?"

"Not from here. From Engineering, maybe, but there's no way I can get to a transporter room, deck four is flooded with radiation."

"Can you get to Engineering fast enough?" Harry looked at Chakotay, then back to the captain and shook his head, no.

"But..." Harry turned his head to the side, thinking hard and fast. "I might be able to access the transporter from the auxiliary computer on deck six."

"Go!" Harry nodded at the captain's word and flew toward the turbolift. The doors didn't open and he almost ran into them. He forced them open and looked at the empty turbo shaft. He glanced back at the captain, then began descending the ladder, on his way to deck six. "When you're done there, report to Engineering!" Kathryn shouted down after the Ensign just before the doors hissed shut behind him.

Nothing was left to do now but wait.

Janeway's thoughts drifted to the events that had nearly brought her bridge down about her ears. Voyager had been answering a distress call, unaware that the call came from a single person within a ship. And what a ship.

It was huge. The shuttle bay could tuck Voyager away inside, neat and cozy. It was designed sleek and streamlined. Two nacelles curved gently away from the ship on either side like a pronged tail from the body of a great sea beast. The entire ship was pristine white, in contrast with the surrounding space. At least, it once had been.

Now scorch marks scarred the hull from Voyager's phaser banks and gases vented from several torn parts of the ship. Its lights were dark and it listed, as though dying from the barrage of the much smaller ship. Kathryn had no idea how they had managed it. It had been as though the people controlling the behemoth ship did not know what they were doing. One mistake after another was made, weaknesses left open and it even seemed that the ship itself impossibly sabotaged its crew.

And as for the crew...

Kathryn Janeway had never expected to see a Cardassian out here. Nor, she suspected, had he expected to see her. She thought perhaps the Caretaker had pulled him in too, but he had laughed at her when she asked and said that she knew nothing of the reality of the universe. Then she explained that she was answering a distress call and he turned a darker grey and stormed off the screen. The next thing she knew, they were under attack.

She broke from her thoughts as a form materialized on the deck in front of her. She sensed movement in her peripheral vision as Tuvok drew his phaser. The child that materialized held her arms up defensively, kneeling and cowering behind her forearms from an invisible threat.

Her arms and hands were black, blistered, bleeding boiling red drops onto the deck. The second she appeared, the girl gasped for air desperately. As she finished her first breath, she screamed. It was only once, and then she slouched and forced herself to breathe. She took deep, shaking, pained breaths, color rushing into the parts of her face that Kathryn could see.

She wore a black half-mask and cowl that covered her cheeks, forehead, hair (if she had any) and ran into the simple brown tunic she wore. A brown skirt, stained and made of the same material as the filthy tunic that sported unidentifiable stiff stains of various dark colors, covered her to just below her knees. She arched her back and the backpack she wore slipped off her shoulders. Her visible ears carried strange, curving earrings that followed the shape of the lobe into the uppermost cartilage.

Chakotay approached her, asking if she was okay. She looked at him and began explaining what had happened to her. At least, that was the best guess Kathryn could give, as the universal translator was malfunctioning and she could not understand a word the girl was saying. And she was just a girl, no more than sixteen or seventeen, by the looks of her.

As she told her tale in a melodic, flowing language full of purrs and growls, she unstrapped the knife sheaths attached to her abused forearms. She took out one of the knives and Janeway watched as Tuvok aimed his phaser at her. But she didn't stop what she was doing, which was to turn the knife around and begin working at the shackle on her left wrist. She hissed with pain, but the manacle broke off and the second came undone, triggered by the first, clanging onto the deck.

The girl stopped a moment, in obvious relief. Then she turned the knife on her charred wrists and before Janeway could move, she'd placed the blade inside her arm. A second later, a charred strip of leather fell to the floor with the sound of burnt paper. Kathryn realized, as she looked at the new, raw pink skin underneath, that it had been to protect her wrist from being cut into by the manacles. She repeated the act on the other arm.

"Please disarm yourself," Tuvok said to the girl, who fixed huge blue eyes on him and laughed. She dropped the knife on the floor next to its mate and looked at him with amusement in her eyes. He raised an eyebrow and she laughed again. Her laugh was almost silent, but it was a laugh that promised to be infectious under the right circumstances. She suddenly pulled a sword from along her spine and set it into what was becoming a pile on the floor in front of her.

And it didn't end there. She pulled a dagger from inside her tunic that was shaped to perfectly rest on her breasts, judging by the curved handle. It had to have been specially made and Kathryn wondered that she hadn't stabbed herself with it. Next, she pulled out a hiltless throwing knife from under her right sleeve and a matching one from her left. Janeway was impressed and horrified at the same time. Next came out two metal pieces that, with a flick of her wrist, unfolded into fans with razor sharp edges. She folded them back up just as easily as she had unfolded them, then laid them down in front of her.

A peculiar look came over Chakotay's face at the sight of the fanblades, but his expression returned to normal seconds later. Next, the girl reached under her skirt and came out with something that looked suspiciously like a Klingon Dk tahg knife. She pulled two small daggers from each of her boots, and then pulled out another dagger from under her skirt. Finally, she removed her earrings, which Janeway realized were really two curving razor blades.

All the while she continued her unintelligible tale, her voice expressive enough to get her points across, if they could be understood. She stopped and caught her breath for a moment, then began to raise her arms to the metal collar around her neck, but hissed with pain instead and doubled over. As she straightened a little, Kathryn circled to see what looked like a crossbow bolt protruding from her left side, just below her rib cage.

Kathryn heard Paris draw in his breath and say, "That's gotta hurt." It was a sentiment that the entire bridge shared. The girl wrapped her hands around the arrow and cried out. She pulled her hands back and Kathryn felt a tremendous jolt of sympathy when she saw that some of the flesh from the girl's hands had stayed on the bolt. The girl looked up at Chakotay pleadingly, then moved her hands back to her neck, bending in the middle to keep the wound from being pulled.

Chakotay moved forward to help, but with straining muscles, the girl snapped the collar. It fell to the ground with a clunk. Then she resumed her look at Chakotay and spoke again. "Zhje vuels hrriln?" Kathryn glanced with curiosity to see if the girl had more than one tongue when she heard the complex speech, but no, she only had one. In fact, she looked completely human from what Kathryn could see.

"I don't understand," Chakotay responded as he knelt before her. Tears began running down her face and she looked around the bridge, as if for help. She licked her lips and hummed a little, testing her voice. Her lips moved experimentally, then she spoke.

"P-p-plee-ayzz H-h-a-elp m-may." The words were slurred and unsure, the accent thick, but her intent was clear. She was asking for help. In Federation Standard. Janeway moved forward, but Chakotay was already there, asking what to do. Kathryn stood back and watched.

"How can I help? We can't transport you to Sickbay, our comm and transporters are damaged. Our doctor can't leave Sickbay, either. Is there anything I, personally, can do?" Chakotay asked slowly. The girl nodded.

"Ee-it musst c-c-oom outt." Her voice was young and cracked, her tongue adding extra consonant sounds, making Standard consonants seem simple. Tuvok strode across the bridge with a twisted med kit in hand. He handed it to Chakotay and Tom Paris walked up next to him to help, his short time working in Sickbay compelling him to act as a nurse.

Chakotay examined the wound as best he could around the pinned material. "I can't really see anything," he declared helplessly. The girl had lain on the deck to straighten her body out and now she lifted herself on her elbow and looked down.

"Cut iit ovff." Kathryn noticed that the girl was losing her thick accent, but was still having a little trouble forming words. Chakotay's head shot up and he frowned slightly.

"We don't have any blankets to cover you."

"It izs of no consequence." Chakotay blushed a little and the girl sighed. She sat up and worked a hook in the back and the tunic came undone, sliding forward, bunching on the arrow. Following her advise, Chakotay carefully used her knife to cut the hole around the bolt wider, then slipped the stiff garment off her body. He looked away shyly, but she was digging in her backpack. She produced a scarf, which she laid across her breasts, much to the first officer's obvious relief.

Kathryn knelt by the proceedings and noticed a thick, white scar that disappeared under the sash over the girl's heart. Or at least, where a human heart was located. The young girl looked at Kathryn, who gave her usual speech.

"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway. This is the Federation Starship Voyager." The girl smiled at her, but provided no name for herself. Instead, the girl rolled over, enough to see her own back and then frowned.

"It did not go all the way through."

"That's good." Chakotay said, but his expression fell as he saw the looks on both the girl's and Tom's faces. "That's not good?"

"It means you're going to have to push it through." The girl informed him. Chakotay looked at her intensely. Janeway absently noted that the girl's accent had faded to only a few rolled r's.

"Why?" Kathryn asked the girl, not particularly wanting to resort to that kind of violence.

"The head is barbed with very small sveeya, I mean, hooks." She shook her head. "It has been a while since I spoke English. It is surprisingly easy to forget a language you never hear; and in only a few months." Janeway frowned slightly at the old name of the Federation's primary language. She hadn't heard it called that since her Academy days.

"Is there anything I should do to prepare you for," Chakotay paused. "Pushing it through?"

"No. Don't even warn me, just push." She looked away from Chakotay and back to Captain Janeway. "So, Captain Janeway of the Federation ship Voyager, I believe I have you to thank for my life." Chakotay drove the bolt through and the girl cried out in pain, then lay back, panting and visibly trying not to pass out.

"Don't hyperventilate yourself," Paris warned and the girl slowed her breathing.

"You're welcome," Kathryn responded. The girl smiled at her with slightly glazed eyes. Then she looked at Paris and let out a shaky breath.

"Look in my bag. You will find a white dress. Take it out and rip it into bandages." Paris nodded and picked up her bag. He let out a low whistle and looked up at the girl before rifling some more and pulling out a light, simple white dress. Kathryn's curiosity was ignited, but she stemmed it for the time being. "Next, do you have a dermal regenerator?" This she directed at Chakotay. He nodded. "That's good."

"Why?" Janeway asked.

"Because, otherwise, when that bolt came out, the wound would have to be cauterized to stop the bleeding," Paris supplied and Kathryn frowned, taking a moment to realize exactly what that meant. She was horrified when the concept became clear. She had never done field triage without a med kit and now suddenly, she was grateful. Chakotay rolled the girl onto her side just enough to reach the arrowhead on the other side. Janeway saw the vicious thing and understood why it had to be pushed out.

"Careful when you pull it out. Don't let the head cut you." Chakotay nodded at the girl's advice and waited for Tom to prepare the dermal regenerator and bandages for when he pulled it through. In the meantime, he snapped off the end that was decorated with red metal feathers. The girl flinched and grunted, but for the most part stayed calm. Paris handed the captain the dermal regenerator and Kathryn looked at it with wide eyes for a moment before a professional calm came over her body.

"Ready?" Chakotay looked at Paris and he nodded. Janeway nodded. The girl screamed as the arrow went through her body and she went still as Paris held the bandages tight to mop up the blood before it could come pouring out of her body. He carefully let one loose and Janeway ran the medical instrument over the wound, forcing it to create a protective layer of skin to hold back the blood. Paris laid that bandage back on the entrance wound and Janeway moved around to where Chakotay had been sitting so she could start to repair the exit wound.

Once this was completed, Paris wrapped a bandage around the girl's stomach and slightly up onto her rib cage, tying it off gently. The girl breathed shallowly, trembling from head to knees. Kathryn was shocked that she hadn't passed out yet, given all the pain that she was in. A violent tremor went down her body, then she lay still, staring at the ceiling and breathing carefully.

Kathryn helped her into a loose, flowing black silk shirt that the girl had asked her to retrieve from her bag. She had been disappointed to discover that it had fallen out, so she had no excuse to peek into the bag that had caught her helmsman's attention. The shirt's plunging neckline showed the scar on her chest, but Kathryn couldn't help that.

"So, what's your name?" Chakotay asked. Paris took the med kit back to Tuvok, who replaced it in the wall panel it came from. Kathryn stood up and walked a little ways toward the turbolift, beginning to worry that she should have heard from Ensign Kim by now. She glanced back at the young girl on the deck and saw her knit her brows under the mask.

"You haven't… You don't…?" The girl cocked her head to the side and Chakotay got a troubled look on his face. "Chakotay..." Suddenly, a bang from the turbolift shaft interrupted her and sent all eyes to the slowly widening crack in the doors. Eight fingers slipped into the opening and forced the door open. B'Elanna Torres emerged from that portal, pulling herself onto the bridge. The doors remained wide open.

B'Elanna scanned the bridge with her eyes and they finally rested on the girl on the floor with Chakotay. B'Elanna pushed back the short hair from her face and stared as if she had seen a ghost. She froze and dropped the padd from her left hand.

"Jessica?" Kathryn looked back at the girl, whose breathing was still a little labored and saw her react to the name by widening her eyes. Suddenly Chakotay grabbed the top of the mask and ripped it off, letting Jessica's head bounce painfully onto the floor. She closed her eyes in obvious pain, her hand going to the back of her head and coming away stained with blood.

Her golden brown hair was chopped short and not well taken care of. Kathryn took a year off her age as she saw Jessica's face for the first time. Was it her imagination, or had the girl's eyes turned brown for a second? Were they a lighter blue than before? Janeway rubbed her eyes and noticed for the first time that normal lighting had been restored to the bridge.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Chakotay's tone caused Janeway to look up, feeling curious and just a little angry that she didn't know what was going on.

"I tried, but you weren't paying any attention. I honestly thought you would figure it out," the girl, Jessica, answered. Chakotay's eyes were cold as stone, startling Kathryn, who had never seen him truly acrimonious.

"'_Honestly_' isn't a word you have any right to use." Jessica stood and turned angrily from him, looking at B'Elanna. Kathryn followed her gaze to see B'Elanna, who would have been as still as a statue—if she hadn't been shaking. The girl walked towards her and stood motionless in front of her, searching her eyes. Suddenly B'Elanna sprung like a coil wound too tight, her hand flew at Jessica's face, freezing only a hairsbreadth away. Jessica had tensed every muscle in her body as the blow came at her face, closing her eyes and bracing herself for it.

They stood there for a moment; Jessica's eyes closed, anticipating a blow that was not to come and B'Elanna with her hand stilled mid-strike, beginning to shake.

"That's for letting me think you were dead." B'Elanna said in a low, angry voice, and then grabbed Jessica in a fierce hug. "This is for being alive," she said emotionally. Then she held her at arms length, appraisingly. "How?" Jessica stood silent, tears beginning to flow down her face. B'Elanna's expression changed to one of shock and she looked like she was going to ask a question, but then she seemed to notice the girl's hair. She touched a strand and then looked at Jessica questioningly, a strange look of concern in her eyes.

"Go on," said Chakotay quietly. "Tell her why you're alive." B'Elanna looked at the brooding first officer, confusion etched into her features. Tears fell from the girl's eyes as she looked into B'Elanna's eyes. Janeway had never seen anyone cry so much in such a strange fashion. It was like the girl had no control over her tears or wasn't aware they were there.

"I set you up," she admitted quietly. B'Elanna looked from Jessica to Chakotay, then smiled and asked laughingly:

"What, is this a joke?" But as she turned from the cold features of Chakotay to the stricken face of Jessica, she began to look panicked. "No," she said, as if pleading to make the betrayal nonexistent. When she saw it wasn't, she whirled on Chakotay. "You _knew_? You knew she was alive and you didn't tell us?" Her voice rose with each accusation. "You knew she was a traitor and what? Rather than hurt our feelings, you let us believe she was _dead?_"

"Everyone loved her. I just wanted to protect you. I figured she had the sense to stay away after that, so I'd never have to tell you." Chakotay spoke quietly, emotion boiling under every word.

"But," B'Elanna protested, "But you warned us!" She looked at Jessica, who couldn't seem to lift her head as she walked towards the turbolift.

"I couldn't betray you. It's against my nature. So I chose the lesser betrayal. I betrayed my captain, betrayed Starfleet." She stood at the edge of the shaft and looked down. Janeway didn't like the way she was looking at the drop-off.

"You can't be old enough to be in Starfleet," Janeway stated, unable to believe what she was hearing. "I have doubts about whether or not you're old enough to take the entrance exam." Jessica looked at her.

"Starfleet granted me an early admittance due to special circumstances," she explained, sounding very tired. "I was the youngest student ever admitted. I think that they had hoped I'd fail the psych test, but I passed every single exam. After all, I had to prove that I was the best." She sat down and looked down the lift passageway.

Suddenly, the girl shouted down the tube. "C'mon, crewman, pick up the pace. You call that climbing?" Kathryn frowned, unable to believe that this girl would come onto her ship and heckle her crew. She was about to say something when the girl resumed her banter. "Oh, please, you're faster in—" Her words were cut off by the lips of Harry Kim.

Janeway had no idea of what to make of this. Jessica pushed Harry off with a laugh, which he met with his own. "Satisfy any fantasies, Baby?" he asked, teasing.

"Oh, yeah. I'm still your number one stalker, Baby Face. You know I always hated Libby." He laughed shortly, and then his expression fell.

"So what are you doing here?" Jessica grinned at Harry's question and it completely transformed her face. Whereas before she had looked tired, brooding and dirty, now she looked glowing and new.

"This is my space. So I think the question is, what are _you_ doing here?"

"We got pulled here by the Ocampan Caretaker."

"That sucks. You're a long, long way from home in unfriendly territory."

"You two know each other?" Kathryn asked.

"We went to the Academy together," Harry answered, smiling. "I brought her the homework to the classes she skipped." Janeway looked at Jessica, disbelief plain on her face. She hadn't even had time for friends at the Academy, she had been so busy with her classes, she couldn't imagine skipping one, even once. Jessica looked at her as though she could hear her thoughts and smiled.

"I had other classes at the same time as the ones Baby Face, er, Harry," she said, grinning at him, "and I shared. Sometimes I went to those, sometimes the others. Sometimes I skipped all the classes to keep up with my work."

"Jessica was voted the most trips to the infirmary in our quad. She slept an average of seven hours a week, ate only once a day and some of the other cadets ran a pool every week to see how long it took her to make it to the infirmary, or how many trips that week." Kathryn looked at the small girl, seeing her standing next to Harry, she realized that she was very small—thin and short, in an unhealthy way.

Chakotay glared up at Jessica. "She's actually very likeable." Chakotay said, confusing Janeway with his compliment.

"You wouldn't know it, to have seen the way most of the cadets treated her," Harry said, defensively. Chakotay looked surprised.

"You mean there was a time when you didn't have to be everything to everyone?" He demanded harshly. She seemed to wilt, curling in on herself. "A time when someone didn't like you?" Harry looked askance at Chakotay.

"They treated her so badly that she was almost expelled when she tried to kill herself." This seemed to be a day of firsts for Kathryn. She couldn't recall ever seeing her quiet young Ensign angry, much less toward someone who outranked him.

"I can defend myself, Harry." Jessica put a hand on his arm and he looked at her, troubled.

"How do you know the commander?" Harry asked.

"I infiltrated the Maquis last year. Twelve vessels were caught during my mission." Harry raised his eyebrows

"Well that explains the animosity, but..." his brow furrowed and he trailed off.

"She let our ship escape," B'Elanna said, erasing the lines of confusion from Harry's forehead.

"Sounds like something she'd do. She never followed the rules to the letter." He looked down at her, seemingly unsure of how he felt about that.

"Even her own, apparently," Chakotay snapped. Jessica flinched and the tears once again began rolling down her face at Chakotay's harsh words. Harry looked at her as if she had sprouted a second head. B'Elanna merely looked concerned.

"What happened?" Harry asked so quietly, Kathryn almost didn't hear. He suddenly took an interest in her hair, pulling on a single strand as B'Elanna had done. "Your hair," he whispered. Tears fell more freely from eyes that Kathryn could almost swear were glowing. B'Elanna stepped closer to the two and added her own worried look to Harry's, meeting his eyes for a brief moment of shared understanding.

"Now the tears?" Chakotay's voice caused Jessica to look up.

"Almost fourteen years, Chakotay. I didn't cry—not when I was born, not when my mother was murdered, not through... a lot of things." Jessica shook slightly. "Please, don't do this. Not now, not here. Remember your promise."

Chakotay walked towards her, but Kathryn stepped in his way, unsure what he would do. "You were always so careful not to make promises. But you did promise never to stick a knife in my back."

"Chakotay—" Jessica's voice was urgent, but he continued.

"Is one betrayal really worse than another?" B'Elanna looked alarmed as Jessica's hands went to her abdomen and her knees buckled. She cried out and Harry caught her on the way down, B'Elanna running to her side to check on her.

"You promised!" Jessica cried out.

"You promised not to betray us!" Chakotay started to continue, but B'Elanna cut him off.

"She's in labor, you idiot!" Kathryn froze, eyes wide, both at the child being pregnant and B'Elanna yelling at Chakotay in such a way.

"What?" Chakotay's anger seemed to diminish. The change was obvious, despite the loose garment. Jessica's stomach was distending, writhing as if something inside wanted out. Janeway wondered exactly how the baby would be born as she watched the small stomach move and swell, as though the fetus would tear through her belly.

"Move her down here," Kathryn ordered, not completely sure what to do. She had been taught how to deliver a baby in her anatomy and development class at the Academy, but she had never seen a labor like this. As Jessica passed Chakotay, she shook off her escort.

"You promised," she hissed in his face, "That if ever I was deathly injured, you wouldn't upset me." Her voice shook and there was a sense of barely controlled pain under her words. "I've been in labor for _three days_. Do you know what it is to stem off a process that debilitates most humanoid species? I just wanted to get home first..." Another wave hit her and she collapsed. Chakotay knelt in front of her, his hands on her shoulders.

"I didn't mean for this to happen." Chakotay whispered. She looked into his eyes, but her eyes grew hard instead of forgiving.

"Then you can be a nursemaid." Jessica let Harry help her up and Chakotay walked with them down to in front of the command seats. Janeway looked around.

"Perhaps we should do this somewhere else..." Her thought was interrupted by Jessica's collapse to the floor. The girl's scream chased away any thoughts Kathryn had of moving her. Jessica half-lay on the floor and Janeway asked silently for permission to examine her. Jessica gave it with a nod.

Kathryn removed the stained underwear and carefully examined her cervix, as she had been instructed to in her class. By all the rules she knew, the girl was fully dilated and ready to deliver.

"How long do your people's births usually last?" Kathryn asked, worried that this might be unusual.

"My children have always come within three to four hours of the onset of labor. For my people, that is fast, but for my family, it is about normal." Kathryn looked up, hardly able to believe the girl had other children.

"How old are you, exactly?" Kathryn asked. Jessica looked at her and opened her mouth to answer, but a cry came out instead. B'Elanna took one hand and Harry moved to Jessica's back, kneeling behind her.

"Is this right, Jess?" Harry asked. Chakotay took Jessica's other hand and answered Kathryn's question.

"She's fourteen." Janeway looked at Chakotay as though he might be joking, but it was obvious that he wasn't. Jessica moved up to her knees, Harry supporting her back, Chakotay and B'Elanna each holding a hand. With each contraction, Jessica arched and lifted herself by those hands, screaming. "It can't possibly hurt that much," Chakotay said derisively. Jessica looked at him dangerously, squeezed his hand and he fell backwards with a scream.

"Only a quarter of what I'm feeling," she panted. "Don't ever assume—" she cried out as more pain hit her. Kathryn could see the muscles bearing down, but the baby wasn't even crowning yet. Chakotay crawled back and took Jessica's hand tentatively, as though he was afraid she would crush it.

Tom Paris had emerged with water and a tricorder, offering the water to the laboring girl. Jessica drank it greedily and relaxed. For a moment, everyone was quiet, the only sound the soft beeping of the tricorder and Jessica's panting. Harry was rocking her on her knees and she closed her eyes for a second, looking peaceful. Abruptly, Jessica began blinking rapidly, and then her body jerked. She looked over at Paris.

"Tom, could you hand me that arrowhead?" Jessica asked. Paris froze and looked at her.

"How do you know my name?" He asked. Like Janeway and Tuvok, he had never met this girl.

"Shit," the girl said, leaning back on Harry. "Will you just get me the damn arrowhead?" Tom retrieved it and handed it to her. She looked at it suspiciously, and then licked it. She spat quickly and her eyes grew thoughtful. She tossed the arrowhead into the pile of weapons that she had discarded and sighed. Her head swiveled toward Paris, who was watching her, apprehensively.

"I'm interested in just how you knew his name, as well." Janeway stated. Jessica smiled.

"I'm telepathic and you're both psychic billboards," she answered. B'Elanna made a sound as though she was trying not to laugh and Janeway's glare didn't hinder the amusement in the half-Klingon's eyes. "You laugh now," Jessica growled irritably, "But your mind is so loud, I wish I had mental earplugs." B'Elanna lost control and laughed out loud.

"At least I don't have such a bad haircut," she insulted back. Jessica grinned.

"You sure about that?" she retorted. B'Elanna mock-pouted, touching her hair.

"Hey." Both began laughing and Chakotay looked towards the ceiling. Kathryn looked at him for an explanation and he sighed.

"These two would go on like this, all day sometimes, when we were scouting. At first, I thought there might be an incident, with the way they fought. It only took me a week to realize that they weren't serious. That's not to say they behaved themselves. They did get into a brawl once, but they just laughed about it when I tried to reprimand them." Kathryn had trouble believing that the angry, self-loathing, half-Klingon woman in front of her could behave like a little girl.

But then, she never imagined her hugging anyone, either. And she had seen her hug Jessica with her own eyes. There was no doubt about it, that child brought out the best in B'Elanna. She frowned when she saw the girl looking at her as if she knew exactly what she was thinking. It bothered her more to know that she probably did.

The next contraction hit violently and Janeway was nearly taken off guard. The head crowned quickly and not three contractions later, she was holding a baby girl in her hands. Dark hair was wet and matted, curling above big brown eyes. The baby opened its mouth and issued an earsplitting announcement to the universe that she had been born.

Kathryn put the baby on Jessica's chest as B'Elanna and Chakotay lifted her and laid her back down with her legs out in front of her; watching as her face lit up with adoration. It lasted only a moment before Tom's tricorder began to crescendo its warning. Blood ran from between Jessica's legs and her eyes seemed to grow heavy. Jessica's arms started to go limp and Harry caught the baby. Jessica looked at him and spoke quietly.

"Her name is Mary-Jane. Her father's name is Bendon Bry. You will be passing my planet in a month, judging by your current course. Please make sure he gets her. He's been anticipating her birth for a long while. She's his first."

"No," B'Elanna said forcefully. "You're not going to die." The reports Tom was issuing seemed to disagree. "No," B'Elanna growled at him, unwilling to accept what Jessica already had. B'Elanna's head swung frantically back down to Jessica.

"I love you, Bel, I love all of you," she said, looking at Harry. "Even you," she growled at Chakotay. She looked at B'Elanna and Kathryn watched as a single drop of blood began running out of her nose. "It was a hemo-toxin, Bel. It was on the arrowhead, there was nothing anyone here could do." She coughed and blood sprayed over her lip. Janeway heard the blips on the tricorder, recognizing the sounds of an injury that only a surgeon might fix.

Janeway felt an odd sensation as Harry handed the baby back to her, as he took Jessica's hand. It was a sensation of cold and colors. She looked down at Mary-Jane. Jessica seemed to notice this and she looked at Harry, who turned to Janeway.

"Don't accept it, Captain." Kathryn looked up at Harry's voice.

"Accept what?" Janeway was completely confused.

"Her mind. When Shashan babies are born, they join minds with the person they find the most compatible amongst those present at their birth." Harry explained, a concept Janeway didn't really understand, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Shashan?"

"My mother's species." Jessica rasped. B'Elanna glared down at her, leaning forward over Jessica's body and clasping her hand.

"Don't speak. If you can just hold out until the transporters are fixed—I'm sure it won't be long—then you'll be okay. We can get you to our doctor, we can—"

"be'nI', Heghle'neH QaQ jajvam." Jessica smiled as she murmured this and B'Elanna looked as though she was about to cry. Kathryn's Klingon was much worse than rusty—she had only taken one semester, but she recognized the often-used phrase: It is a good day to die. As for what Jessica had called B'Elanna, Janeway knew that is was female, but she did not know if Jessica had just said 'sister' or 'wife.' She guessed 'sister.'

"It is not!" B'Elanna said vehemently. Jessica looked at her with paling eyes and there was silence for a moment. "Don't say that! You will not!" It was more of a command than a reassurance. Kathryn looked at Jessica, as if she could hear the words being spoken into her new Chief Engineer's mind.

"ghuHmoH gh''or," Jessica said with a laugh. All Kathryn understood of that was the Klingon word for Hell.

"Oh, you are not going to Ghrethor," B'Elanna said, using the human equivalent of the word, "You know that if there is one, you're headed to Stovokor. But I swear that if you die, I'll kill you." Jessica laughed, but it was more like a cough and blood sprayed out to leave flecks on her lips. "Please, you're the only family I have left, please don't die." She whispered the next so quietly that Kathryn couldn't hear. _Don't leave me alone, be'nI'_.

Jessica opened and closed her mouth, as if trying to speak, but all that came out was blood. A second later, Jessica's eyes closed and her body went limp. As her head slid to the side in Harry's lap, a trickle of blood ran slowly out of her mouth, a bright red smear against her pale skin. It seemed unnecessary when Tom translated the high squeal of the tricorder into a pronouncement of death.

_**To be continued…**_

_Thanks to Tracy, my beta for all the mistakes and Coyfor, my beta for plot inconsistencies and idea bouncing. You gals were an amazing help._

_Dedication:_

_Tracie and Coyfor, my Betas. Especially Tracie, who worked very hard to send me an edited copy each time that was readable and wonderful. Thank you for being such a great Beta._

_Ralst, Bones, Lisa Countryman, Callistosdarkside, and halfofone--the original B/7 writers that I read._

_Ralst again, because she's my favorite B/7 author._

_Erin / Dinovia, for forming the first ever B/7 "darkside" list._

_All the fans I once had, who encouraged me to write and made it so incredibly wonderful for me._

_All the original writers and lurkers of Voq Je Bang, from the pioneer days of the Dark Side._

_All the future readers of my stories._

_Everyone who ever gave me feedback._

_My muse, Xakana._

_And especially Voyooho, my husband, without whom this story would never have been finished._

_**Thank you all.**_


	2. Prologue 2

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. The Shashan people are mine, completely, as is Jessica._

_Author's Notes: This is an alternative reality piece, so events in all series Star Trek have been changed, just to warn off any people thinking they see inconsistencies with the show. Specific instance which is especially noted: The USS Voyager left in pursuit of the renegade Maquis ship one year later than noted in the series (2372 instead of '71), but stardates will remain the same to maintain continuity within the series. Any references to B'Elanna's past will ignore the inconsistencies between "Faces", "Extreme Risk" and "Lineage" sending "Lineage" events back in time to when B'Elanna was six years old, giving her that extra year with her father that was supplied by "Extreme Risk." This prologue is set in Voyager's first season, between the episodes 5 ("The Cloud") and 6 ("Eye of the Needle")._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Rating: M  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please

_Extra Disclaiming Note: All chapter titles are NOT owned by me and are owned, respectively, by the bands who wrote/played them and their record companies._

**Home, Prologue 2**

Everyone sat silently for a moment. B'Elanna sat hunched over Jessica's body, her head buried in her chest, rocking slightly. She balled one fist into Jessica's short hair and her other in the soft material of the dead girl's shirt until her knuckles turned white. She shook violently, then threw her head back and released a keening sound somewhere between a howl and a scream.

At the sound, the newborn baby in Kathryn's arms began crying, adding her own scream to B'Elanna's. Her face scrunched up and her cries echoed through the bridge. For a moment, that was the only sound on the bridge, then B'Elanna turned angrily to her and yelled, "Shut up!" Kathryn was shocked that the young woman would take her anger out on a baby, but even more surprised when the baby complied.

The baby looked at B'Elanna with her huge brown eyes and said clearly, "Bel, ma deh?" B'Elanna's expression softened.

"Yes, she's dead." Kathryn felt the brush of the little mind again, this time a feeling of pain, 'alone' and the color white. There was a questioning feeling behind it all and Kathryn struggled not to answer it.

"She can speak?" Kathryn asked, begging anyone to confirm what she just heard.

"At about the level of a human toddler," Harry supplied. "They learn to speak through the telepathic bond with their mother. She'll be crawling before the end of this week."

"Fast development?"

"In the first two months," he answered. Kathryn looked at the baby, impressed.

"Why does she want to join her mind with mine?"

Harry smiled sadly. "That, I can't tell you. Jessica picked a security officer for her dazhanal, as it's called. She told me it was because she liked her strength." Harry looked at the baby, sadly. "Her zhanal was Natasha Yarr, who died in the line of duty not long after Jessica was born. She said she didn't want her children to bond with soldiers or Starfleet personnel, because she didn't want them to ever go through the pain of that loss. Many adults don't survive the death of their zhanal and children are almost always destroyed by it. Jessica survived because her best friend took Tasha's place."

B'Elanna was growing ever more agitated throughout all of this and finally, she exploded. "You've died before," she called to the still warm corpse, shaking Jessica's shoulders, "And you came back! Well come back, now, damnit! You will not die, you can't. Damnit, damnit, damnit!" She pounded Jessica's chest with the last curse so hard that it seemed Kathryn heard a cracking sound.

But she didn't have long to think about it as Jessica's eyes flew open and she began flailing wildly, trying to roll onto her side. B'Elanna helped her and was rewarded with a lap full of regurgitated blood. Jessica retched until the black and red stream stopped, then rolled back against Harry, pushing B'Elanna away in disgust. She coughed out the last of the blood and gasped, staring at Torres.

"I could hear your scream all the way into the next life," Jessica hiccupped. "It could wake the dead." B'Elanna laughed through the tears streaming down her face, then shook Jessica.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again!"

"I think you broke my chest," Jessica responded. "Doesn't anyone just know CPR? Must it always be violent?" B'Elanna hugged her, cursing. Then she swiftly seemed embarrassed by the display of affection and stood, walking to the previously forgotten padd.

"I've never seen anyone survive losing that much blood," Kathryn told Jessica as she sat up weakly.

"Yeah, well, just call me phoenix-girl." She made a face and seemed to think about what she said. "Except that my death wasn't clean. And there was no fire." She shrugged with both her shoulders and eyebrows.

"What about the—" Kathryn began.

"We absorb the placenta back into our system after birth." She began to stand and Harry helped her up. Janeway started to protest, but Jessica waved her away. "My family has given birth on the battlefield only to pass the child to a nursemaid and take victory from the enemy. My four times great-aunt did it with only one arm."

Kathryn snorted with laughter. "Are you serious?"

"Eh, believe what you want. It's one of the Klingon-reminiscent stories I was raised on in deference to my Callayna."

"Who?"

"I'll explain later. Now, I have to retake my ship." Jessica stood and walked over to her backpack.

"You're in no condition to wage a war, especially alone." Kathryn frowned at the impudent girl. Jessica looked over her shoulder at the captain, from her undignified position, squatting in front of her backpack, rifling through it.

"Does that mean you're volunteering to help?"

"Absolutely not. I will not endanger the lives of my crew and besides, since you studied at the Academy, I'm certain you know the Prime Directive." Jessica laughed lightly, and then gave Janeway a quirky look.

"Just remember what you just said. Such a pity." Jessica picked up the backpack. "I know that you have a nudity taboo, therefore is there anywhere that I can change?" Kathryn indicated her Captain's Ready Room. B'Elanna handed Janeway her report. She took it and looked down, skimming it.

"It'll take months to repair all this," Kathryn said, looking up at B'Elanna.

"Yep. And you just ignored an offer for help," she said, not sounding pleased.

"What?" Kathryn asked, lowering her brows. B'Elanna crossed her arms and rested her weight on her left leg, leaning slightly.

"Even if it wasn't part of her culture, Jessica's own personal code won't allow her to permit someone to fight with her unless she can compensate them. And I don't mean monetarily."

"Are you saying that I should order my crew to—?"

"No, I'm saying that you should let us decide whether or not we want to help. I'm willing to go with her. I have a feeling about that ship," B'Elanna said, nodding her head towards the viewscreen. Kathryn followed her gaze with her head and then turned back to B'Elanna. "She's going to need the help of an Engineer to get it back."

"Get it back? That ship?" Kathryn looked at it again.

"Yeah. I recognize the design. Jessica sketched it out a couple times, saying that her fleet had been working on it for seven years. That she'd captain it when it was built, if she was home."

"_Captain?_ She's _fourteen years old_!"

"Right. And in her culture, that means she's old enough to be married, have children and fight to the death for queen and country. Actually, she was old enough for the last one when she turned ten and the first two at thirteen."

"It sounds like children run her planet." Kathryn said, incredulously.

"You have no idea." B'Elanna unfolded her arms and walked away.

"Now, what does that mean?" Kathryn looked from B'Elanna to Chakotay, to Harry, not receiving any answers. She sighed. "What do you think, Commander? Should we help her?" Chakotay looked at Kathryn and it was obvious from his expression that he was still angry with Jessica.

"I don't trust her." Just then, Jessica made her entrance. Kathryn's jaw dropped at the sight. She stood, dressed throat to toe in black leather. Her outfit exposed her cleavage, arms, stomach and only a webwork of straps covered her legs below the leather shorts. Leather boots seemed attached to the leather straps on her calves. A black silk half-cape covered her back and hooked into her belt to prevent it from flapping loosely.

"I used your replicator to make a washbowl with water in it so I could clean up. I recycled it, but I can try to compensate you for the energy drain if I survive."

"Don't worry about it," Janeway said flatly, still stunned by what was standing in front of her. Jessica held her backpack loosely at her side and seemed at a momentary loss for what to do.

"Well, you look the part," Chakotay remarked derisively.

"And what part is that?" She asked, sounding tired.

"Full of sex and violence. Isn't that all you are?" Jessica's eyes darkened and she stepped forward. Kathryn decided that she had had enough of Chakotay's hateful comments.

"Commander, I'm confused. When Tuvok infiltrated your ship you forgave him, saying 'at least it was in the line of duty.' Why is it different for her?" Chakotay looked surprised.

"Because she was the only person I ever trusted implicitly," He answered quietly. "It's against everything she believes in to lie, therefore I never expected it. And she professed to be my friend. To believe in us." Jessica dropped her backpack and the anger in her eyes was unmistakable, coloring them black.

"**_Lie_**? I never lied!" She stormed down the bridge toward him. "Think carefully about everything I said and name once, _one time_ that I lied!"

"You said that you believed in our cause!" Though his voice didn't rise but a few decibels, the fury, the hurt behind it was obvious.

"I did! I didn't lie about that, or anything else. I believed in what the Maquis stood for, if I didn't agree with their methods, I did agree that they weren't given much choice. You have no idea how close I was to becoming Maquis, if it wasn't for what I believed in. And I believed in Starfleet."

"Then why did you take that mission?" It was close to a yell.

"I had no choice! It was that or be court-marshaled for insubordination."

"And of course, you had a wonderful career to watch out for, you couldn't mar your perfect record."

"Perfect record? I was one demerit from being expulsed from the academy! I challenged everyone from instructor to Admiral! Another court martial wasn't my real fear. It was disappointing my captain. A captain, that I was to find out later, wasn't even in possession of his own mind! The niece of my cousin Morina was in control of him. Petty politics and pointless games." Jessica walked back to the empty turbo shaft. "All to try to destroy me."

"And who are you?" Chakotay asked.

"If you don't know by now, then I'm sorry I gave up my career to save you."

"Gave it up?" B'Elanna asked, walking quietly over to stand behind the trembling girl.

"I resigned my commission, because I felt that Starfleet was turning into something that I couldn't live with, hunting citizens just trying to live in their homes. Paranoia is beginning to rise and war is coming. I couldn't stay anymore. I was born twenty years too late."

"What do you mean, war is coming?" This had caught the captain's attention more than anything else. Jessica's eyes glazed over and there was something suddenly otherworldly about her voice as she answered.

"Sea Of Blood and snakes will strike with Death, ripping allies from each other by their emblems, bringing enemies into focus and losing sight of reality." She sagged and Kathryn stared at her, wondering if she was insane. But the looks on Harry, Chakotay and B'Elanna's faces made her think twice. They looked at her as though she could actually see the future. Kathryn had heard that truly precognitive individuals, unless it was a racial talent, often sounded insane or even went insane from their visions.

Jessica smiled, continuing. "But Snakes will strike their own, the Sea of Blood will dry, infected by an innocent, then in a wash of loss, all will be clean." Chakotay looked at his captain for her response. She raised her eyebrows at him. Jessica awoke with a start from the visions, looking confused and disoriented. Then her eyes turned to Chakotay. She stormed up to him.

They stood there for a moment, neither one moving, both with barely contained fury boiling under the surface. Jessica broke the silence.

"Hit me."

"What?"

"Hit me. Beat me, scream, yell, whatever. But get it off your chest and quit letting it poison you." Chakotay stood still and stoic, not even giving her an indication that he was hearing her or feeling anything. She swung at him. Like a dam held back for too long, he exploded. He grabbed her wrist and backhanded her onto the deck. She let her head hang as she lifted herself up to her hands and knees. "Feel better?" Janeway was shocked to see Chakotay hit a little girl.

Chakotay looked thoughtful. "Actually, I do." She looked up at him and offered her arm.

"Good. Then are you with me?" He took her wrist and pulled her up. He nodded once. She smiled tightly and he returned it. She walked over to her pile of weapons and began arming herself. The deadly blades slipped, unseen, into her outfit perfectly.

"I'm going, too." B'Elanna announced. Jessica looked at her and smiled.

"Glad to hear it. You know that there always seem to be too many parts when I try to fix something."

"I remember that," Harry said. "I'm coming, too." Jessica stood and walked to him.

"No. You stay here and look after Mary-Jane."

"I'm not a cadet anymore—"

"No. And I'm not an infatuated ten year-old. But I'd still be distracted if you came along. I'd be so worried about watching your ass, I wouldn't watch my own."

"Captain!" Harry said, turning to Janeway for help.

"It's her mission, Ensign. And I agree that you shouldn't go." She handed Mary-Jane to Harry, who looked at her and frowned. The baby matched his expression and after a minute of frowning at each other, he laughed. He looked up at Jessica.

"So how's Pam?" It was a simple question, but Jessica reacted as though she had been hit by a sledge hammer. Her hand went to her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, no. What happened?"

"He, _that bastard_, that, that monster who stole my ship, he-he," she took a shaky breath. "He killed my eldest, Harry. My little girl. She wasn't even four, yet. Her birthday was next month." She looked up at him, horror in her eyes. "He cut off her head. In front of my eyes, he killed her. My..." She choked back a sob and Harry put a hand on her shoulder. She jerked away and went cold. "That's why you're not coming. He's a cold-blooded killer and I'm not putting you in the middle of that. What would your mother think?"

"Hey," Harry said, a tone of warning in his voice. "Don't bring my mother into this." Jessica looked at B'Elanna and Chakotay.

"I met his mother once. Very sweet and quiet. I had no doubt that she'd kill me if I put her little boy into danger," Jessica informed them. B'Elanna grinned at Harry, a smile full of the promise that she would tease him unmercifully. Harry sighed and took the cloth that Jessica was offering him "Wrap the baby in it."

Kathryn looked at her first officer and chief engineer, preparing to fight for the girl in front of them. She realized that she couldn't let her officers go alone, just the three of them.

"Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge." Janeway never took her eyes off Jessica. "I'm going, too." Jessica looked at her, surprised.

"What about the Prime Directive, captain?"

"You asked for help, did you not?"

"Yes."

"And you are a space-faring race with warp capabilities?" Janeway continued.

"A little higher than warp, but yeah," Jessica answered. Kathryn was surprised. After being more advanced than virtually every species they had encountered in the Delta Quadrant, she had forgotten that there were species more advanced than her own. Given the crude way that Jessica spoke, she had just assumed...

"Then I'm not in violation with the Prime Directive." The captain's decision made Jessica smile.

"Captain," Tuvok spoke up. "May I remind you that the captain is not to leave the ship without a security escort? Given the circumstances, I believe that no one but myself is qualified enough to accompany you on this mission."

"All right, Tuvok. You can come along," Kathryn said, smiling at her old friend.

"Well, in that case, mind if I tag along, too, ma'am?" Tom Paris stood, looking eager.

"Fine. Mr. Kim, I do believe that means you have the bridge," Janeway said, turning to the startled Ensign.

"Me?" Harry asked. Janeway realized that he had yet to be given the bridge to command.

"Yes, Ensign, _you_. Unless you don't feel ready—"

"No, ma'am. I'm ready."

"It'll do you some good," Tom said. Harry smiled at Tom.

"Then away we go," Jessica announced and headed for the turbolift. Kathryn led the way for the rest of the team to follow.

…

Captain Janeway finished her speech and looked over at the transporter controls to see Jessica curled up on top, asleep. It was the third time she had fallen asleep while Kathryn was talking. She wondered if that was supposed to be an insult. She hefted the dartgun in her hands and glared at it. Jessica had told them that phased energy devices would not work on the Aurora, which was the name of her ship. So they were all carrying non-lethal weapons in place of phasers.

Except for Jessica, whose arsenal was concealed all over her body so well that Janeway could only see the hilts of her breast dagger and D'k tagh knife, which was strapped to her right thigh. Occasionally she caught glimpses of the sword down Jessica's back, but they were only when the girl was walking directly in front of her.

Deck four was no longer flooded with radiation, thanks to B'Elanna's team of engineers, so they were standing in an actual transporter room. Kathryn adjusted the straps of the ammo belts that made an X across her chest and took the place of her normal Starfleet-issue belt at her waist. Exactly one hundred sedative-loaded darts were strapped to her body, to be added to the five in her gun. She couldn't see why she needed this much ammunition, but Jessica had assured her that it was 'better safe than decapitated.'

She had to agree.

"Move out." She ordered and immediately, Jessica sprung up and off the control panel, trotting to the transporter pad. The six of them stood in a circle, backs facing each other as the transporter dematerialized them on a timer.

**_To be continued…_**


	3. I watched you change

_Disclaimer: The beginning of this starts at the end of the episode "Drive" but contains no spoilers for the actual episode. majorcharacterdeath, anyways, I'm not making money off this, and I admit that I don't own the characters. Chapter title is from "Change" by the Deftones, whom I do not own. _

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Rating: M  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please (reviews feed the muse).**

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**Home, Chapter 1  
**_I watched you change..._

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_Six years later...  
_…

_Stardate 54058.8_

Captain Kathryn Janeway didn't want to believe her eyes. She stared, with all the rest of the assembly, at the destruction on the screen in front of her. Tom Paris' ship had driven off course, to explode at a safe distance from the rest of the race. She felt herself go cold.  
…

"Captain?" A voice called to her. She had promised Admiral Paris that she would bring his son home. She knew that he was proud of the progress Tom had made. And now, Tom was dead. The sensors on the ship had displayed to everyone what had happened in the shuttle.

Tom had struggled with the terrorist woman, finally knocking her out and sending the small flyer off course. He had been unable to stop the bomb and thanks to his quick thinking, none of the other racers were hurt. In his last moments, he recorded a short message: "_Good-bye, Harry. Captain, thank you for a second chance. Tell my dad that I'm sorry I didn't make it home. And B'Elanna, I love you._" B'Elanna had run from the briefing room when the message played and Kathryn hadn't been able to stop her.

She hadn't been able to move.

She had lost a lot of people on this ride, even Harry Kim, for a short time, but for some reason, it came as a physical blow to lose one of her bridge officers... permanently.

"Captain?" The voice came again. Irina's objective had not been fulfilled, but Janeway had lost the best pilot she had ever known. Her mind played the image over and over, memories playing cruel tricks on her, letting her see her officer die. She hadn't, actually. Tom had stopped the visual recording after his message to spare the crew the gruesome details. Still, she saw it in her mind.

"Captain!" She jerked her head up to look at Chakotay. She hadn't even realized that he had been standing there. He was in his dress uniform, as she was in hers. It was the day of the memorial service for Thomas Eugene Paris. Kathryn thanked any gods listening that she didn't have to give the eulogy. Ensign Kim had volunteered for that duty.

Duty. It was a word that she had seen Tom learn with her own eyes. She had watched him change from the jaded, sarcastic, irresponsible young man she had taken from the penal colony in New Zealand into an overgrown kid with a love of his job, his little shuttle, and most of all, B'Elanna Torres. She had brought him along, with a promise of freedom after a short mission. And instead, she had led him seventy thousand light years from home and eventually allowed him to fly to his death.

She had never been especially close to him, but she had been responsible for him. Every other person Kathryn had brought on Voyager had volunteered to be there. But she had blackmailed Tom, bribed him, and made promises she hadn't been able to keep. Dimly, she became aware that she had followed Commander Chakotay mutely to the funeral and was giving her speech on how brave Thomas Eugene Paris had been, how, though a troubled officer, in the end, he had been a fine officer.

In the end...  
…

B'Elanna had not expected to find comfort in Seven of Nine. When the ex-drone found her crying in the Jeffries tube, she had expected something cold, heartless or innocent. But when Seven's arms had wrapped around her, she had taken the solace, clutching the fabric of the biosuit and keening into Seven's strong shoulders. Seven didn't move a single muscle, staying in the same position of consolation for nearly half an hour.

When B'Elanna had drained herself of tears, she poured out her story onto the same shoulders she had just wept on, explaining how she was going to break up with Tom, but didn't get the opportunity. How she had planned to tell him that their relationship was over as soon as he won or lost the race. How she wanted to let him have his race without her to worry about, wanted him to have one last day of happiness before it was over.

Seven listened uncomfortably as B'Elanna bared her heart, unsure of what to say or do. She held B'Elanna, as she had seen others do for comfort and hoped that it was enough. As she held B'Elanna, she began to feel... something beginning inside of her. She reacted to the warmth of the grieving woman's body against her own, the scent of B'Elanna's hair, and the feel of her shaking under Seven's fingers.

She felt... protective, and more. Sympathy flooded through her body and she suddenly had the urge to destroy all of the smaller woman's pain, as illogical as her mind informed her that that was. She wanted it to be something tangible that she could vanquish and present to B'Elanna as nothing but happiness. Never before had she felt this way about anyone. She was unsure how to define the feelings but certain that now was not the time to try.

So she just held on...

**_To be continued…_**


	4. Hopeless

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 2 title is from "Hopeless" by Stabbing Westward and I do not own them (alas) nor their music. Song Lyrics in chapter are from the same._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Rating: M  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse…

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**Home, Chapter 2  
**_Hopeless...__

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_Past, 2373..._

The first thing that Janeway noticed about the Aurora was the music. It wrapped around her like a blanket, traveling all the way into her bones. A woman sang in a language she couldn't understand to a beat that wasn't like anything she had ever heard. The music made her feel like she was floating and immediately she wanted to go back. She could not imagine how she was expected to think with the disorienting melody burrowing into her brain.

Before she could ask about it, the song ended. There was a second of silence, and then, before she could adjust, another began. She felt as if she was two steps behind everything. This song wasn't disorienting, however. It was haunting. A symphony of stringed instruments and unreal synthetics blended into the male and female duo that sang in an unearthly harmony in yet another language that Kathryn couldn't understand.

Jessica spoke, erasing Kathryn's fear that she had gone deaf. "This is deck six, our objective is deck one. Once we pass those doors, there is no transporting back. You're here, for better or worse. So, if you can't handle it, go back _now_, before we cross that threshold, into the dampening field that will keep us all here."

The Voyager crewmembers looked around at each other, searching the faces around them for any second thoughts. When they found none, they followed Jessica, who stood on the other side of the threshold, waiting. B'Elanna took the first step beyond that invisible line, followed closely by Janeway. As soon as she stepped into the dampening field, she felt a brief tingle, and then it passed.

"What is with this music?" Tom Paris asked, voicing Janeway's thoughts. Jessica grinned at him and explained.

"It's a virus. We place it in the computer systems of all our ships, so that if they're ever boarded, it will deafen our enemies so that they don't hear us when we recapture our ship. Or at least make them wish they'd never thought to steal the ship."

"Doesn't it deafen you, as well?" Kathryn asked as the song changed again.

"No. My race is telepathic, remember? We don't really need our ears to 'hear.' But technically, our hearing is about the same level as a Ferengi, so we can actually hear over this. Besides, we thrive on music."

"This would hurt a Ferengi." Kathryn said, wincing at the level, herself.

"We hear on a slightly different level. I'm not a doctor, I can't explain everything." Jessica grumbled. B'Elanna laughed at this. The music changed again, picking up in tempo and switching to English. Kathryn looked at Jessica, surprised to hear a Federation language, much less the Standard. "Hey, I was raised on Earth, so of course I'd like the music," she said, grinning.

"I've never heard this," Kathryn said.

"It's from the twentieth century," Tom Paris supplied. "I think that the genre is 'techno.'" Jessica nodded as the words changed language. "And I think that this language is German." Jessica again nodded in agreement, then proceeded down the corridor, moving as gracefully as a cat, almost floating. Janeway followed a short distance behind, watching as B'Elanna moved up to walk next to Jessica.

Without warning, Jessica froze, one foot suspended in the air. Then she shot forward and Kathryn followed quickly to see what had captured her attention. Kathryn stopped when she saw the young form lying in the hall. He was a boy of seven or eight years, with long, curling brown hair and large, almond shaped orange eyes.

His ears were long, thin and funneled like a cat. Seamless beige scales covered all the exposed skin of his body, except his ears, lips, throat and chest, which seemed to just sport a thick hide of the same color as the rest of his—skin. A set of black spots, like those of a Trill humanoid, ran down the right side of his body to the tip of his big toe. That very toe was thick with a two-inch long, curving brown claw growing out from the center. The other toes each had a tiny, sharp claw growing from it, all as wide as a human toenail. The other foot matched.

Jessica knelt by him and took his hand. He looked her in the eye and said something in a language that Kathryn didn't know. It sounded like the language that Jessica had spoken earlier. Kathryn saw the tiny little clawed hand reach up to Jessica's face and watched as Jessica pressed it there with her own hand. He smiled, and then Janeway noticed that his eyes had changed from orange to green and finally paled until they were white.

His hand dropped to the floor as the last of the color drained from his eyes and Jessica began murmuring in the same melodic language that she had spoken previously. Tears ran down her face as she did so and she closed his eyes. Jessica lay him on the floor and laid his hands on his stomach. The entire Voyager team stayed respectfully back during these proceedings and Janeway felt a surge of pride for her people as well as a pang of sympathy for Jessica.

Jessica stood and crossed her arms over her chest, standing alone, looking cold. B'Elanna stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder. Jessica leaned into it and began speaking.

"His name was Jenzi. He was going to visit his sister. It was his first time off world. He was only seven." B'Elanna stepped a little closer and Jessica leaned against her for comfort. She drew in a deep breath, then let it out and continued through the ship, leading them to the first ladder they would be climbing.

_Stardate 56730.9, Present..._

B'Elanna glared down at the plate in front of her. Neelix had made some sort of green stew and she hadn't yet had the nerve to taste it. She poked it with her fork, moving it around, lifting and dropping it back into the bowl and examining the texture until she finally dropped her fork, admitting to herself that she wasn't interested in eating.

She rubbed the bump on her eyebrow, wincing as she accidentally touched the laceration and tried to forget that in only ten more minutes she had to return to Engineering. With... her.

B'Elanna stood abruptly and stalked temperamentally out of the Mess Hall, leaving her plate of boiled leaves uneaten and forgotten. Neelix cleaned it up and tsked at B'Elanna's retreating form, knowing better than to try and chastise her now. B'Elanna stormed into Engineering, determined that this time, the impulse engines would come back online, so Voyager could leave this godforsaken planet behind.

Of course, the impulse engines were only the beginning. The ship was floating in the lake it had crashed down in, taking on water through every hull breach that they weren't able to seal with force fields. B'Elanna watched as her staff scrambled out of her way, giving her a clear path to the main engine drive in the center of the room.

She placed both hands on the guardrail and glared hard at the big, blue cylinder. "Now, look you," she growled at it. "Today, we are going to get off this planet, do you hear me? That means, you're going to stop being stubborn and let me fix you. No more delays, or burnt out circuit pathways. Don't I give you enough attention as it is? Why do you have to give me a hard time?" The engine remained dark, refusing to answer.

"I do not see how berating an inanimate object will repair the engine, Lieutenant." Seven's voice caused B'Elanna to grate her teeth. _'Great,_' she thought, _'That's the last thing I need. The Borg._' Despite the times the two had comforted each other and the hours spent together, their animosity still remained high. Misunderstandings were rampant between the pair and more than once their fights had escalated so that the captain had become involved.

And she was always on Seven's side. At least, that was B'Elanna's opinion. Seven saw favoritism reflected the opposite way and resented B'Elanna for all the times she was reprimanded for simply trying to maintain order and efficiency.

"It's none of your business, Seven. And if they weren't inanimate, I wouldn't need to berate them," she finished, confusing Seven with her immense lack of logic. Seven briefly entertained the thought of reaching out and assimilating B'Elanna. It wouldn't take that long and she would be so much more logical and easier to work with after... She quickly stopped that train of thought: it was far too tempting.

Seven and B'Elanna walked to the main reactor coil together, discussing different plans on how to fix the small burnouts that kept occurring every time they tried to reinitialize the drive. After the third discarded idea, they finally decided on a course of action that they both agreed might work.

"May I inquire as to how you injured yourself, Lieutenant?" Seven asked. B'Elanna's hand went to the welt and she grimaced.

"A console covering blew off right before I left for lunch and a piece of it hit me."

"It looks painful. You should seek medical attention at the end of your shift." B'Elanna nodded, turned to the coil assembly and froze.

"No." She tried to convince herself that she wasn't seeing what her eyes told her was there. "No!" Part of the coil hung from the main assembly, twisted away from the rest and looking for all the world, irreparable. If it couldn't be repaired, then Voyager would never get off this planet, or out of the lake, even. The engines would never work again. It was more than B'Elanna could take and she snapped. "God _damn _it! veQDuj jay'!"

B'Elanna flung her tool kit at the wall, where it broke open and Seven flinched away from her, marveling that the Lieutenant would call her usually beloved ship a 'Fucking garbage scow.' B'Elanna screamed and hit the wall as hard as she could. Seven winced as she heard the bone crack, but Torres didn't seem to notice. Seven watched B'Elanna storm out of Engineering, while knocking aside any hapless crewman who got in her way.

She flung one errant member of her staff into a console for trying to confront her before she made her way out the big doors into the rest of the ship. If Seven believed in such things, she would have prayed for the ship. As it was, she decided that it would be better to rescue the ship and its crew before further harm befell either.

She caught up with B'Elanna two minutes later in a turbolift. She mentally debated the wisdom of confronting the angry woman in such close quarters, but finally decided that she didn't have much choice.

"Lieutenant," she began, turning to her. "You are overreacting."

"Overreacting? Computer, halt lift." Seven immediately regretted having followed Torres and judging by the look in her eyes as she spun on the ex-drone, Seven deduced that B'Elanna was intent on making her regret even being born. "What right do you think you have, chasing me and telling me that you think I'm overreacting?"

"You flung Ensign Raines into a computer console." B'Elanna stood her ground, still too angry to think straight.

"Yeah, well, she shouldn't have gotten in my way."

"That does not excuse your assault on her."

"You really don't feel anything, do you? Well, right now, I'm pissed off. I don't give a damn about Ensign Raines or the fucking engines."

"Does using strong language relieve your anger?"

"No, but it's a damn good way to express it and warn people to leave me the hell alone."

"I doubt that you need to be alone right now. The probability of you injuring either a crew member or yourself is—"

"I don't want to hear any damn statistics!" B'Elanna shouted, then pressed the heels of her palm against her forehead until her arms shook. "If people would just leave me the hell alone, I could have time to think and cool off. Time to get myself under control. I don't need some goddamn Borg to tell me that I'm out of control. That's why I was leaving Engineering!" Without warning, the turbolift began rising and Torres shouted at it to, "Halt!"

"Unable to comply."

"Override, Torres alpha five zeta B."

"Unable to comply." The computer repeated, annoying the already frustrated half-Klingon.

"Why not?" B'Elanna shouted at the stubborn computer.

"Your authorization code is not high enough."

"Well, dammit, whose is?" Before the computer could respond, the lift doors opened and Kathryn Janeway stood before them, glaring at the two women.

"In my ready room. Now." Her voice was quiet and deadly, punctuating the first two words and rose commandingly on the last.

Janeway covered her face with her hands, trying to stop the headache from forming just behind her ears before she exploded. Four crewmen had reported their assaults in Engineering by their Chief, and one was in sickbay with a dislocated shoulder. That chief was standing in front of her, trying to explain herself, but all she was really doing was giving the captain a headache.

"I was angry. When we got to the coil drive, it was trashed. I don't know if it can even be repaired. I just suddenly snapped. I've been under so much pressure—" Janeway cut Torres off.

"Enough. What you did was uncalled for."

"If they had just stayed away—" B'Elanna began again, looking away and then back in the same second, but again, the captain interrupted her.

"You cannot expect the crew to make such allowances for your behavior. Just because you are frustrated and overworked does not give you the right to injure your staff."

"I already admitted that I was out of control. I was just trying to get away from it all. And they just happened to be in my way."

"That is not an excuse. Even Seven of Nine knows better than to strike another member of her crew."

"Seven of Nine. Your little pet Borg can't do anything wrong, now can she?"

"You are _out of line_."

"Whatever. Maybe if you'd open your eyes to any other member of the crew, you'd know that we're overworked, rations are low..."

"Lieutenant," Kathryn began dangerously, rising from her chair.

"You aren't listening!"

"Oh, I'm listening alright. I'm listening to a member of my crew that cannot keep her temper under control, who doesn't even act like she wants to try, nor does she seem to care about the people around her." During this, the captain walked to stand above and in front of B'Elanna.

"You're wrong. You think that I'd stay on this ship if I didn't care about the people?" Janeway started to interrupt her, but B'Elanna didn't give her a chance. "Damnit, let me finish!"

"You are out of line!"

"I'm always 'out of line!' I don't really even care any more. What are you going to do to me? Throw me off the ship? Confine me to the brig, my quarters? What does it matter? Throw me off the ship! I don't care! I don't have anything in the Alpha Quadrant to go to anyway!"

"What about your home?" Janeway asked, her voice quieter as she realized B'Elanna was closer to the edge than she had previously realized.

"What home? Kessik IV? I left that behind a long time ago. The only future I see for myself if I stay on Voyager, is prison for my actions with the Maquis!" Kathryn's expression softened as tears began rolling down B'Elanna's face. It wasn't that she didn't understand or care, but it would be impossible to maintain order or discipline among the crew if she couldn't even keep her senior staff in line. She knew that she was being hard on B'Elanna, but she was at a loss as to what else she could do.

"B'Elanna," Kathryn began, but B'Elanna broke down. The pressures over the last few months that had weighed so heavily on her shoulders finally won out. Kathryn caught B'Elanna on her way down and held her as she cried and spiraled down into the darkness of her mind.

_Past..._

"_Innocence / Lost along the way / To anywhere or anyone who'll hold on to you / Innocence / Is hurt again / But is it really worth the pain?_" Kathryn closed her eyes to try once again to block out the music, but with Jessica singing with it, she found the task next to impossible. It didn't seem to bother anyone else and Tom Paris even seemed to be enjoying every few songs, singing along with Jessica. Off key. At least the girl could carry a tune, she couldn't say the same for her helmsman. She wished that Jessica would just stop encouraging him.

She observed that wherever Jessica was, she was touching someone. A brush of their hand, leaning against them or, in the case of B'Elanna, she occasionally held her hand. She didn't touch Chakotay, Janeway or Tuvok, but she hung all over B'Elanna and Tom. She would occasionally act as though she was going to touch Chakotay, then look at him and trot off.

She also noticed that neither Tom nor B'Elanna had a problem with her touchy-feely nature and Jessica avoided the people who might. Tuvok: whose Vulcan nature was to avoid physical contact; Chakotay: who was still obviously upset with her, and the captain, whose position kept her from being as friendly as either B'Elanna or Tom. Tom seemed to be actually flirting, despite the fact that the girl was half his age. Kathryn kept her disapproval to herself, though.

Suddenly, Jessica froze again, as Janeway had gotten used to her doing. It was a complete stop, as if she turned into a hologram of herself. B'Elanna peeked around the corner, then walked back to the group. Kathryn took her own look around the corner, to see two brown-skinned aliens with no hair, but ridged skulls and muzzles. She ducked back around the corner and looked at Jessica.

"Don't any of you do that again," the girl said, looking a little scared. "Those are Dkorian assassins. They can hit just about anything with deadly accuracy and'll kill you just 'cause they're bored. They can smell the metal of a weapon before it can fire and they move faster than anything you've ever seen. It's the only thing they're good for, though. They're stupid, smelly, ugly and half-deaf. Their species never even developed cart vehicles. They were used by the Kazon 'til they revolted and killed all their captors, stealing the ship they were on. No one's ever been sure how they figured out how to pilot it, but they spread out in smaller ships throughout the quadrant."

"Then what are they doing working for the Cardassians?" Kathryn asked.

"Cardassians?" B'Elanna exclaimed, but Jessica waved her silent.

"There's only a handful of Cardassians on this ship, Captain. There's also Dkorians, Kazon, and a dozen or so other races in their... group. My people call them the Vorchen, which means, roughly translated, Terrorists."

"Like the Maquis," Kathryn said.

"No. These people aren't fighting for any cause or rights. They're just pirates—killers. They banded together for whatever reasons, mutual blood lust, I s'pose. They take slaves, attack small planets, steal ships, rape, pillage... Vaguely reminiscent of the Orions. We're not sure how many there are, but they got their hands on some Borg technology before I was born and they're too fast for us to catch 'em all."

"Borg?" Janeway asked, alarmed.

"Yeah. A couple of transwarp drives. They made more from what they salvaged and damned if we can't keep up now. Back in my mother's day, it was a far easier thing to hunt them down and either capture or kill 'em. The day I was born, it was the end of a week-long war that had been brought to Shaola, our homeworld. I was born in the aftermath, during which, a wormhole to the alpha quadrant opened up just above Shaola."

"A wormhole?" Kathryn began to get excited.

"It's a long story. Suffice it to say, the war was won, the Vorchen retreated and the wormhole collapsed three days after I was born." Kathryn's face fell.

"I don't suppose you know of any more."

"Wormholes are a random phenomenon. In the Torel system, you can go to warp near the fifth planet and you'll open up a wormhole to the Andromeda galaxy. Although it would really take a Constellation class starship for that, or one with similar engines. Voyager has weird engines."

"How did you know?" Janeway asked, taken by surprise.

"They felt odd. Peaceful or something. I dunno."

"Back to the matter at hand," Chakotay said, drawing their attention. "How do we get past the assassins, if we can't shoot them?" Jessica looked thoughtful.

"I might have a way that you can shoot them, but you'll have to hide."

"You have a plan?" Janeway asked. Jessica hesitated only a moment before nodding. Jessica quickly explained the plan and Janeway decided immediately that she didn't like it. But it looked like she didn't really get a say in that.

**_To be continued…_**


	5. You stumbled in and bumped your head

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. Chapter 3 title is from "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down. Thanks also to Marc Okrand, creator of the Klingon language, without whom, the Klingon in this piece would jut be gibberish. This story contains f/f content, so if that offends you, then naDev vo' yIghoS (go away)! Song in chapter is "Lay Your Hands on Me" by Bon Jovi._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Rating: M  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse…

* * *

**Home, Chapter 3  
**_You stumbled in and bumped your head... _

* * *

_Present day, February 2380... _

Kathryn watched B'Elanna sleeping in Sickbay. She had been there for over a week, not giving any of them a sign that she was all right. The worried captain glanced up at Seven, her second, ever watchful visitor, who was often there when Janeway came to look in on the overworked half-Klingon. The doctor diagnosed her with a recurrence of her clinical depression and really wanted her in her quarters, but she refused to eat or even move in her few brief moments of consciousness.

Which is why it came as a surprise when B'Elanna sat straight up in bed and looked around frantically. Her eyes were glazed and not really focusing on anything.

"Tom? Tom?" She called, causing a heartbreaking wrench in Janeway. She looked up at Seven, whose eyes darkened. Without warning, Seven left sickbay, seemingly in a huff. Kathryn watched her, confused, but was drawn back by B'Elanna's pitiful cries. She walked over to the half-human woman and put her hand on her shoulder, unsure what to say. B'Elanna flung herself into her arms, catching Janeway by surprise, but she returned the embrace gently.

"It's alright, Lieutenant. You're safe. Tom's not here, I'm sorry." B'Elanna started trembling, then her shoulders shook with sobs and Kathryn had to use all of her self-control not to join her.

"Seven?" B'Elanna said quietly and Janeway froze. "Seven, help me. It's dark here and I'm cold. Seven, I'm scared." Suddenly, the Doctor came running into sickbay and Kathryn thought she heard him curse.

"Doctor?" she asked, unable and unwilling to pry B'Elanna from her death grip on Janeway's shoulders.

"I was, wrong Captain. But it didn't show itself until just as she awakened," he was mumbling something about microviruses and hitting keys in a rapid succession on the monitor next to B'Elanna.

"Doctor. _What_ are you talking about?" He looked up, uncharacteristically frazzled and started spewing medical jargon that Janeway couldn't begin to keep up with. She caught a word here and there, something about Klingon physiology and redundant systems, filter leaks and comparative biology. "Slow down, Doctor. I don't understand what you're trying to tell me."

"I'm trying to say that she's sick. Apparently, there is a microvirus attacking the neurons in her cerebral cortex, causing her redundant systems to go haywire. There is also evidence that she's been slipping in and out of a coma due to vascular constriction in her hypothalamus causing her pituitary gland to produce a hormone that's interacting with the virus and mutating into a chemical that is blocking the impulses from her brain to her hearts." He finished it up by throwing his hands into the air in a gesture of 'why didn't I see this before.' Yet still, Kathryn had to ask.

"Why didn't you detect any of this before?"

"Because it was masking itself as simple sleep and depression and I didn't run a full microcellular scan because of her history."

"Can you...?" She trailed off, unsure what she was asking and 'make her better' just didn't sound quite right.

"I'm going to start immediately on an anti-virus."

"Will this thing spread?"

"I don't think so. It only seems to be attacking the Klingon side of her physiology. Also, I would think that there would already be reports of other ill crewmembers. But, just to be on the safe side, I'm going to want to run a microcellular scan of you and Seven, since you have visited her the most. And I'm going to erect a containment field around the surgical bay."

Kathryn nodded and peeled B'Elanna away from her reluctantly. B'Elanna looked blindly around and began calling for Seven of Nine, replacing her previous calls for Tom. Kathryn tapped her commbadge and called Seven back to Sickbay, wondering why B'Elanna kept calling her name, considering how adversarial they were with each other. Seven walked through the door, looking less than composed for only a moment.

The doctor explained the situation to her and she agreed to allow him to scan her. Meanwhile, B'Elanna passed out. Seven looked at her, trying to ignore the feelings raging inside her: the anger, jealousy, appreciation of beauty, and desire all mixing painfully into a lump that she pushed down, trying to ignore.

The doctor pronounced her clean and she started to leave Sickbay when she heard B'Elanna whisper her name. "Seven, I need you..."  
…

_January, 2373... _

The leather sighed as B'Elanna released the buckle on the straps. Jessica held the garment on with one hand as B'Elanna pulled the second strap, causing the outfit to fall off. Jessica stood there, nude except for her black panties. Everyone turned except B'Elanna and Chakotay, who were used to Jessica running around naked. Chakotay just didn't look at her. Jessica put on a filmy white dress that zipped seamlessly in front and billowed, soft as spider silk. Tom grinned at her and she smiled back.

"Are you sure this will work?" Kathryn asked, hoping for an alternative.

"Yeah, but you can't jump the gun. Wait for my signal."

"What if they kill you before you can lure them to us?" Chakotay asked.

"Then I'm dead, they'll investigate the body, and you shoot at will and head back for your ship. But it's unlikely. Kanir keeps his men pretty unsatisfied when it comes to women. Sure, they get a poke or two when they run up on another ship, but he keeps the best girls for himself. And they usually don't survive to be passed around."

"This Kanir sounds like a real bastard," Tom said, voicing all their thoughts.

"Yeah." Jessica looked down and B'Elanna put her hand on her shoulder. Jessica suddenly snapped to attention and looked up at Tuvok. "You probably want to be as far away from the main show as possible."

"I will be unaffected."

"No, you won't. Ever been around a Deltan?" Tuvok raised an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Yeah well, ever touch her? I know that the answer's no, so I might as well say it. If you don't skedaddle, seven years is gonna seem pretty quick, if you get my drift." Tuvok turned and walked to the end of the hall without another word.

"I believe that would be the Vulcan version of skedaddling," Tom said with a smile. "What did you mean by that?" Jessica shook her head.

"Vulcan secret."

"Then how come you know it?" Jessica's grin grew larger. "Besides being a telepath."

"One of my zhanals is Vulcan. She joined my mind to save my life and it nearly cost her, her own. We were never able to undo it. She was just trying to meld and my mind reached out and snatched hers in a bond. Freed her from that prig she was supposed to marry."

"Prig?" Tom asked.

"I've got weird slang, don't mind me. I mean a jerk, sorta. I dunno, just always used that word." She grinned then shooed them into their hiding places. "Hey, Aurora," she whispered. "Don't suppose you got anything I could use, music-wise?" Kathryn heard her talk to the ship and was reminded of the conversations she had with Voyager.

The music changed and a song began softly. Kathryn heard Jessica mutter thanks and move out to stand by herself, facing the assassins. From her vantage point, she could see the aliens and they indeed froze when they saw her. The music began in full force and Janeway had to stifle a laugh when she heard the first line. "Lay your hands on me..."

Jessica mouthed the words and the aliens took a step forward, hesitating. Janeway wished she could see more clearly and hoped that they would fall for this.

"What's wrong? Losing your touch?" Chakotay whispered and even Janeway heard.

"Not likely," Jessica said, sliding her hand down the front of her dress, parting it. Her chest bare, the aliens stopped hesitating. They charged her. The one in back stuck a knife into the one in front of him, stopping all three. There was a fight and only one walked away. Jessica faltered at the deaths, but kept up her dance. It reminded Kathryn of an Orion slave girl, only more sexual, if that was possible. She controlled every inch of her body, running her hands over it and making an offering of herself.

Janeway heard movement and saw Chakotay grabbing Tom and pulling him back to their hiding place. Tom's eyes were glazed and Janeway noticed the smell in the air for the first time. Like berries. She wondered if it smelled different to Tom. Chakotay shook him, whispering that it wasn't worth it and Tom seemed to snap out of it. Kathryn looked back, ignoring it. She had seen similar reactions to Deltans, though not quite as severe.

Jessica unsheathed claws that Janeway had never noticed and ran one clawed hand up her thigh. Four thin trails of blood began and the Dkorian stopped, looking aroused, if his breathing was any indication. He wasn't close enough, about three meters from Jessica, out of most of the Voyager crew's line of fire.

"You are Shashan." Jessica opened her mouth, emitting a hissing laugh and Janeway saw the long, curving canines. Why hadn't she noticed before that the girl had fangs? Were they retractable or something?

"Yes," She said, throatily, never stopping her dance.

"You are dishonored." He continued, reaching for her hair. Janeway finally understood the reactions of Harry and B'Elanna earlier. Jessica blinked, but didn't miss a beat.

"Yes," she purred. He stepped forward and Kathryn could see that his eyes were glazed. He walked up to her and she put an arm around his shoulder, drawing him near. Kathryn waited for the sign, but Jessica just whispered quietly until suddenly, the Dkorian's body went stiff and he crumpled to the ground. Jessica's hand dropped to her side from the neck pinch and she spat at him. "Pig."

Kathryn was sure that she wasn't mistaken this time, though, when she saw that Jessica's eyes had changed color. They were glowing violet. She closed the front of her dress and Tuvok reappeared. Chakotay suddenly stepped forward and shoved the girl against the wall. Jessica hissed at him, and then wrapped her form against his.

"You're experiencing Sajala?" he demanded. Jessica glared at him, but her eyes only glowed more brightly. "And you didn't say anything? You're endangering us all!"

"Chakotay, leave her alone," B'Elanna growled. Jessica smiled, then flipped Chakotay against the wall, pinning his arms as if he weighed nothing. She leaned her body into his and he glared at her.

"I have it under control," she panted. "There are drugs in the infirmary that will stem it. I'm two weeks early, probably because of the circumstances surrounding the labor. That probably induced it." She lifted him off his feet and then banged him against the wall, threateningly. "Don't ever fucking touch me again. Unless you mean it." She dropped him, spun away and stalked, with incredible speed, down the corridor, the dress billowing around her. She grabbed her outfit and began changing back into it.

"What the hell is Sajala?" Kathryn demanded, wondering how they were endangered by it.

"I'm... in heat, so to speak." B'Elanna moved up behind Jessica to help her tighten the straps, even though she had already closed the first one, by some miracle of joint movement. Janeway thought she saw an injury under the cape before it was fastened, but she wasn't sure.

"Shashan females experience it usually once every month to three months," Chakotay continued explaining. "It causes irrational behavior—"

"Only in the young," Jessica interrupted. "And those weak enough not to be able to control it."

"Some will go so far in their desperation that they have to be locked up during that time and injected with drugs to lessen the desire or they'll use those pheromones of theirs to rape."

"Which I have never done and do not condone. You know that that is one of the highest crimes among my people." Jessica glared at him, her eyes having lost their glow, if not the color. Chakotay nodded.

"But you admit that sometimes you have to lock yourself in your quarters when there is no supply of the drug available."

"Cuperizone is what Beverly Crusher named it for Federation records. And I've grown up a little. Besides, I know what needs to be done and I have at least six hours before this becomes intolerable. Before I have to 'lock myself up.' This is only the beginning stage." Kathryn noticed Tuvok's discomfort and indicated that they should move on. Jessica nodded her agreement and they began their journey to the next deck.  
…

_Present, 2380... _

B'Elanna finally awoke from her fever after the doctor gave her the last injection in a week-long series of shots. The first thing that B'Elanna saw was Seven of Nine. The second thing was the doctor's face. She frowned at him and then sat up, asking why she was there. He made it half way through his explanation before she stopped him, complaining of a headache. He gave her his 'I'll bet' look and walked away.

"Hi," B'Elanna greeted Seven.

"Hello, Lieutenant. It is good to see that you are feeling better."

"Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?"

"I was monitoring your progress." B'Elanna was touched and smiled. She hopped off the bed and began sneaking out of Sickbay. She made it to the door before the doctor noticed. Seven walked with her, quietly

"Oh, no you don't. You're not getting out of here that easily." B'Elanna sighed and turned to the doctor. He gave her instructions, telling her to come back in an hour, rest for a day before going back to work and not argue with him. She agreed half-heartedly, and then scurried out of Sickbay as soon as she could. She headed to her quarters and invited Seven in.

B'Elanna got dressed, while discussing with Seven, the events and issues that she had missed while unconscious. The first thing that she had to deal with was the fact that she had been out for three weeks. Seven had managed, in that time, to repair the drive coil, much to B'Elanna's delight and astonishment.

She reappeared in the front room in her uniform and told Seven that she was expected to tell her exactly how she had fixed the coil—at dinner. Seven was a bit startled at being invited to dinner. No one but Neelix and Harry Kim had ever asked her to dinner and Seven had gotten used to eating alone, though it secretly troubled her.

"I would like that." Seven answered and B'Elanna smiled. "Where are you going? The Doctor said—" B'Elanna waved her question off.

"I'll be fine. But right now, Voyager is still stuck on this planet and I have no intention of wasting a minute getting us back into space. I've already cost us three weeks."

"You were ill."

"Now I'm better. Are you coming?" Seven nodded and followed B'Elanna, though she considered it against her better judgment. She was wrong. B'Elanna performed above and beyond the call of duty and within an hour, Voyager was flight and fight worthy once again.

"I am impressed," Seven admitted at the end of the day. B'Elanna smiled and thanked Seven. The Doctor went into a huff, but Janeway congratulated her as well. B'Elanna walked into the Mess Hall with Seven, feeling great. An hour of dinner and conversation later, she felt even better, to the point of asking Seven if she wanted to make dinner a regular thing. They seemed to have a lot to talk about and both benefited from each other's company. Seven happily agreed and both retired to bed and alcove respectively that night, feeling very alive.

_**To be continued…**_


	6. If not for me, then you’d be dead

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 4 title is also from "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Rating: M  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse…

**

* * *

**

**Home, Chapter 4  
**_If not for me, then you'd be dead...__

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_

_2373..._

Kathryn had not anticipated an actual battle. But that was what she had on her hands. She cleared three sedative loaded darts from her gun before she had it removed from her grasp by a Kazon. That Kazon was down not a second later, courtesy of a dart shot by Chakotay. She smiled at him, but couldn't find her dart gun again so she grabbed up the odd, curving staff that the Kazon had been fighting with. It had bits of cloth tied to one end that mystified her, but it kept the other hand held weapons from touching her.

Jessica was a blur in the fight, her sword clanging against three different opponents' weapons at once, moving faster than Kathryn's eyes could follow. Not that she had much chance to look. It seemed that she defended herself long enough for someone to take her enemy from her only to have another, more experienced fighter on her hands. Her shoulders ached from the blows she delivered with the heavy staff and the deck was slick and cluttered with bodies.

She saw the blade moving towards her head out of the corner of her eyes. She dove. Too late, too slow, too damn bad. She screamed as the blade cut into her flesh, taking it in her left shoulder. Her opponent had gray skin and harsh ridges that disappeared into his blood-red hair from his nose. His eyes were pink and his sneer fell from almost blue lips. It lasted a second, no longer as a blade appeared from the middle of his chest.

Janeway threw up. She had seen bodies, carnage, blood before, but it was too close, the wound in her shoulder too deep and the smell in the room too thick. The next thing she knew, she was being dragged by her good arm to a corner of the room where no one was fighting. Jessica appeared in front of her and offered her a flask of water. Not knowing where it came from, Kathryn drank it. Waves passed in front of her eyes and she wondered if she was going into shock.

She screamed when she felt the burn against her shoulder, but then the pain lessened. Jessica was pulling off her jacket and treating the wound. Kathryn must have passed out because the next thing she knew, her wound was dressed and the battle had died down to a few hand to hands. B'Elanna was fighting another Kazon with a dagger, using her bare hands. Jessica had a sword fight that was slowing down, as both opponents felt the fatigue of prolonged battle. Jessica's opponent was twice her size and her sword went flying from her hands.

The girl didn't waste a second, she flung herself into a roll towards Janeway's fallen weapon and grabbed it up, showing Janeway how the strips of cloth were used, blinding her enemy with it before slamming the other side of the staff into the side of his head, disabling him. The end seemed very sudden, like someone had just shut the battle off. There were no more enemies to fight and even the music paused between songs.

No one was uninjured. Tuvok seemed the least touched, only sporting what promised to be an ugly bruise on his right cheek. Chakotay was limping slightly from a leg wound. Paris was wrapping what remained of his left hand in a white bandage. B'Elanna had blood running down one side of her face and what was left of her jacket had been sacrificed to make bandages.

Jessica had lost one leg of her clothing and she was almost covered in blood of various colors, making it hard to distinguish her own from the rest. The sight of a child covered in blood was almost more than Janeway could bear, but she forced herself to remain calm for her crew and stood up. The pain that burned through her arm wasn't as bad as it had been earlier, so she was able to mostly ignore it.

There was only one other person in the room. She had purple skin, black hair, a set of webbed wings and a long, thick tail. Her golden eyes looked around in fear and she lurched back against the chains holding her to the floor when Chakotay walked near her. She fell against the floor, crying and murmuring something that Janeway couldn't hear.

"Back off a second, Chakotay." Jessica said and he complied. Jessica walked towards the chained woman, cleaning the blood off her skin with a wet cloth she had retrieved from somewhere. She walked up to the frightened woman and demanded, "Why do you cower? Does a male strike such fear into your heart as to cause you to make a fool of yourself in the face of your allies?" It worked and the woman growled, reminding Janeway of a cougar she had once seen in a zoo, on Earth, as a child.

The woman stood tall and proud in the chains. "I am Letraya of the Irxen clan of the Moayan people. I am a warrior healer. I fear no one." Her eyes flashed and her wings tried to spread, but the weight of the chains held them against her back.

"Good. Well, Doctor Letraya, I'm Jessica Rozhenko, of—" Jessica froze as Letraya fell to her knees in front of her. Jessica cleared her throat. "My reputation proceeds me, huh?" Letraya only nodded. "Just call me Jess. Give me a sec and I'll have you out of those chains." Jessica searched through the bodies until she found her sword. Letraya watched her every move and held out her wrists as far apart as they would go for Jessica to cut through the chains. A few minutes of hacking and pulling later, the Moayan woman was free.

"Thank you, Jessica." Letraya said. She smoothed out the ragged loincloth and half-shirt she wore for clothing, which was about the only thing that would fit her unique anatomy.

"Jess," Jessica corrected, looking distracted. She had been wandering in and out of the other cells, but found no more prisoners to free. "Are you all that's left?"

"The other prisoners were taken to other parts of the ship," she agreed. Jessica pinched the bridge of her nose, then covered her eyes with one hand. She took a deep breath, and then gave a sweep of her arm, indicating that they should move out.

"The infirmary is on the next deck, but we'll have to kill the forcefield dividing this part of the ship from the next before we can get up there." Jessica, who moments earlier had been excited and wild, now seemed depressed—her voice dull and her gait no longer floating. B'Elanna trotted up next to her and took her hand. She leaned into the contact, but didn't really cheer up.

She led them to the Aurora's equivalent to a jeffries tube and stopped.

"This it?" B'Elanna asked.

"The controls are in here. I'm not sure how safe this is, though. Maybe you should let me rip it up." Jessica was distant and downcast as she spoke, but the care was in her eyes as she looked at B'Elanna. B'Elanna glared at her.

"I did not come all this way to let you botch this up," she growled. She pushed Jessica out of the way and crawled into the tube. Jessica followed and Janeway ordered Tom, Chakotay and Tuvok to spread out and watch for anyone who might disturb them. She heard the voices of B'Elanna and Jessica, but not the words because of the music. For ten minutes, there was nothing, then suddenly, she heard shouts and she looked into the crawl space to see Jessica and B'Elanna backing out, then an explosion caused her to look away.

Jessica tumbled out of the passage, coughing and reached in to grab B'Elanna by the ankles and pull her out. B'Elanna was clawing at her throat, where an angry welt burned, just below her larynx. Letraya dropped to the floor and began scanning B'Elanna. Finally, she looked at Jessica and shook her head.

"I cannot help her without a surgical center." Jessica shoved her aside and felt B'Elanna's throat. "Her trachea is crushed..." Jessica ignored the healer and pulled out her knife. She stood and yanked open a circuit panel and grabbed some wiring from inside. She cut a piece off, about four inches long and pulled out the wire inside. She hurried back to B'Elanna, who was still conscious and looked into her eyes.

"Do you trust me?" Jessica asked. B'Elanna nodded. Kathryn watched as Jessica pulled out a stiletto that had been hidden inside her boot and held it just below the welt. With a quick motion, she cut B'Elanna's throat open and turned the knife to make a hole exactly wide enough for the piece of tubing that she then inserted. Kathryn heard the hissing from the tube, proof that the primitive tracheotomy had been a success. "Don't try to talk. When we get to the infirmary, the healer can fix your throat, but for now, you'll be able to breathe and that's what's important."

B'Elanna sat up and nodded, touching the wound. Kathryn was impressed.

"Where did you learn to do that?" the captain asked.

"Saw it done once, a long time ago." Jessica got up, took three steps and collapsed, panting against the wall. Immediately, Letraya was scanning her. Jessica tried to shoo her away. "I'm fine."

"You are, in your language, venstru."

"Yeah, so what?"

"You will die soon, if you don't get blood. You have lost too much."

"I'll live long enough," Jessica argued and tried to stand. Letraya pushed her down and glared at her, showing her the readings.

"Choose a donor."

"You are a doctor, you know that it's not that simple." Letraya suddenly turned and began scanning each of Kathryn's people and herself. She looked over the data and pointed to B'Elanna.

"She is a match."

"Of course she's a match, her house is a cousin house to that of my Callayna. We share two races in common. But it's out of the question." With this, B'Elanna stormed up to Jessica and knelt, glaring, in front of her. Jessica looked away and B'Elanna jerked her around to face her. The intense look in her eyes and the way Jessica was flinching told Kathryn that B'Elanna was mentally screaming at the girl. She looked to the healer questioningly.

"What does she want to say?" Latraya asked.

"I don't have to translate for her. This is _out of the question_." She punctuated each word by pounding her fist against the floor. B'Elanna looked at Jessica and again, the girl flinched. "No!" B'Elanna smacked Jessica upside the ear, producing a yowl from the girl and a dirty look. "Fine. She's asking if I'll live without her help." Letraya turned to B'Elanna and shook her head, no.

B'Elanna once again began glaring at Jessica, who was huddling against herself, looking as if she wanted to sink into the deck plating. She kept shaking her head and B'Elanna held out her wrist. Jessica closed her eyes and covered her head with her arms, burying her face against her knees. B'Elanna slapped her leg and Jessica looked up, her eyes magenta. Kathryn walked towards the huddle, wondering what that color meant. She had noticed that each emotion Jessica felt caused her eyes to change color. Normal for her seemed to be a medium blue.

B'Elanna grabbed Jessica's hand and forced her to look into her eyes. "I can't, Bel. Never a sentient being. What if I can't stop?" B'Elanna pounded the wall three times, as if to say 'I trust you.' Now Kathryn really was confused. She thought that they were talking about a transfusion, though she couldn't see how they planned to do it. Now she knew that they were talking about something else, but what, was beyond her.

Suddenly, B'Elanna grabbed the knife that Jessica had dropped after the tracheotomy and stabbed her wrist. Jessica grabbed both her arm and the knife and tossed it from her. Then she glared up at B'Elanna, who just looked stubborn. Jessica hissed, baring fangs and Janeway couldn't move fast enough to stop the strike. She froze as she watched Jessica jerk her head, biting into B'Elanna's wrist. A moment later, her jaw worked, sucking, against the wound.

Kathryn thought she was going to be sick.

B'Elanna grimaced, as though in pain, then Jessica glanced up into her eyes and B'Elanna just froze, looking as though she was suddenly unaware of what was happening. Janeway thought, wryly, '_Well, maybe if her people came to Earth, this is how the legend of vampires came to be._' After a couple minutes, Jessica licked B'Elanna's wrist clean and then huddled in the corner, refusing to face anybody.

B'Elanna shook herself as if she was coming out of a dream and she looked down at her wrist. It was undamaged. Janeway grabbed the wrist and examined it. Only a slight bruising, like a hickey, remained.

"Are you alright?" Kathryn asked B'Elanna, who nodded. The Moayan healer scanned her and nodded as well.

"Already, she is replenishing what has been lost, which is not enough to drain her. Jessica cannot replenish her own blood supply, so she must take it from others."

"I usually only take from animals. Which I later eat." Jessica said softly, obviously embarrassed. B'Elanna touched her shoulder and she jerked away, huddling further against herself.

"It doesn't make sense, medically, that you drink it to replenish your blood. It would make more sense if you were given transfusions," Janeway said.

"If it's introduced directly into my bloodstream, my body sees it as a pathogen and destroys it. I have a gland in my stomach that converts compatible blood into the type my body uses and then sends it to my bloodstream. Actually, it's only the red blood cells that my body uses. I have white blood cells in abundance." Jessica still didn't turn around and her voice was muffled.

"So your people, the Shashans, are like—" Tom didn't get to finish.

"Not Shashans—venstru. It's from an infection by a snake that was supposedly eradicated five centuries ago. The infection was from the snake's venom, which is acidic and deadly to most species. Shashans have a mutable genome, however, and when the snake bit us, the venom mutated and bonded with our cells, creating physiological changes that, while life threatening, are also beneficiary.

"It caused us to develop a super-platelet, if you will, that can heal wounds at an almost visible rate. It also raises our immune system to almost impregnable standards, including an immunity to all poisons, with the exception of those that attack the blood. To those, we're even more helpless than a normal Shashan. Also, our red blood cells can't hold their cohesion and must be replaced at least once a month.

"Oh, yeah. It makes us really hard to kill, too. Like I said, we can heal almost anything. Short of bleeding to death or cutting off my head, I'm not likely to die by injury." Jessica muttered the last part so quietly that Janeway had to strain to hear over the music.

"So it's only people bitten by the snake that have your... condition?" Janeway asked.

"Or have the venom introduced any other way. In my case, it was a dagger through the heart. I don't know why it laid dormant in me, but it did—for ten years." Kathryn flashed to the scar on Jessica's chest and wondered how young she was when she was infected. "I was a week old." Jessica supplied, obviously reading Kathryn's mind. "I was stabbed with the same infected dagger as my mother. She died, I didn't."

"But I thought you said it made you immune to most injuries," Tom asked.

"The first thing it does when it kicks in, is to kill all the red blood cells in the body. If they're immediately replaced, then you survive. If not..."

"How did you survive a dagger through the heart at such a young age?" Tuvok asked.

"The vennst venom healed it. Like I said, I don't know why I didn't die or why it didn't kill all my red blood cells, I just know that until I was ten years old, I was unaffected."

"So what did you bleed to save your life?" Tom asked.

"My sister. The only other sentient being I've ever taken blood from. And only because she forced it down my throat."

"I am curious," Tuvok began. "You say that you are part Klingon, yet you have no brow ridges. You appear to be completely human, with the exception of your color-changing irises. Yet, you are also Shashan, which I will admit ignorance to the appearance of. Do Shashans look like humans? And is their genetic material so dominant as to completely eradicate the physiology of Klingon, which is known to be a very dominant trait?" Tuvok's questions obviously got Jessica's attention, because she turned to face him.

"Y'know? That's why I simultaneously love and hate Vulcans. Too damn observant for their own good." Jessica stood and faced Tuvok. Then she glanced at Chakotay. "You won't be sick, will you?"

"I was only sick because you didn't warn me," he answered. Kathryn wondered what the hell was going on.

"I'm not giving any warnings today." Suddenly, Jessica's bones seemed to crunch. Her skin literally crawled and small, Klingon ridges appeared on her forehead. Her outfit strained and popped as her body size grew and she gained about three inches, bringing her up to 5'3". Her skin paled, rather than darkened and a line of black 'spots' ran down the right side of her body. Her ears lengthened and thinned into points, longer and thinner than a Vulcan or Romulan. Her eyes widened and her pupils changed shape, constricting to slits. Her nails darkened to black and curled into sharp, thick claws. In the end, she looked like a meld between the boy they had seen earlier, human and Klingon.

"What the hell?" Kathryn asked, both startled and angry at the secret.

"Shashan means 'shape changer,' Captain," Jessica explained.

"Then what do you need us for? You could just turn into a Klingon warrior and get this ship back on your own," Kathryn fumed.

"It's not that easy. Shapes are like fingerprints to a Shashan. We can change into any species we see, but only within our gender, age and approximate size. Also, unless we know the exact makeup of their internal systems, it's just a cosmetic change. Only the most advanced shape shifters amongst us can change their gender or appear to look like someone else. I'm actually really bad at shifting shape. I mean, I'm detailed and all, right down to organs, but it takes a lot out of me and I can only hold the change for up to twenty-four hours. After that, my body reverts to the shape I was born with."

"Which is?" Kathryn asked.

"Human. But this is what I am, genetically. Human, Shashan and Klingon." With that, her outfit chose to rip and show exactly what that meant. Jessica clutched at the leather and cursed. She was clad only in her weapons and their holsters. Everyone tried to look away, but stood, transfixed by what they saw.

Like on a Trill humanoid, the spots went all the way down. But so did the scars. They were on her belly, her ribs and her legs. All different shapes and sizes. When Jessica turned her back to dig in her backpack for something new to wear, Kathryn could see the whip marks down her back, the wound from the arrow and the scar that matched the one over Jessica's heart in front. As she watched, one of the whip wounds ripped and blood ran in a red stream down her back.

Janeway heard Tom's intake of breath and saw B'Elanna flinch, though she had to have seen the wounds earlier. Kathryn felt her heart reach out to the wounded girl. Jessica didn't react, she just threw on another outfit from her bag. She put on black jeans and transferred her weapons holsters from her leather 'pants' to almost blend in with the dark material that she strapped them over. Then she put on a blue bra to holster her breast dagger and a black, loose-fitting shirt to go over it. Finally, she put her boots back on and retrieved the knife that she had thrown earlier and slipped it into her left boot.

"Infirmary's not far. Let's get moving." Jessica pointed the way and the group followed her in silence.

**_To be continued…_**


	7. Every time I start to believe

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 5 title is from "Freak on a Leash" by KoRn._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Rating: M  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse…

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**Home, Chapter 5  
**_Every time I start to believe...

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_

_Present..._

Voyager finally escaped Mekrell space, just glad to be alive. Ensign Anna Spacey, who had replaced Tom Paris at helm, had proven her worth at that station again and again over the last few months since she had taken over. Though she didn't take as many risks as Paris had, her original thinking had saved their lives over a dozen times while they traveled through the hostile space. Dubbed 'Ensign Spaz' by her peers in Engineering, Spacey's talents had gone unused by Voyager because of the unlikelihood that the woman, who could not find her own quarters half the time, could navigate a starship through space.

B'Elanna had discovered her when going over the crew reports and noticed that she had received amazing marks in Astronavigation at the Academy, but her love of engines had put her in Engineering, where she constantly made clumsy mistakes and overreacted. It was a waste to have her in Engineering when her true talent lay in flying the ship. Though it had pained her deeply to suggest Spacey for her ex-lover's former position, B'Elanna had done so in the interests of the ship.

Kathryn Janeway noted all this in her captain's log, and then shut down the recording. She picked up the security report in front of her and scanned through, looking to see what scrap B'Elanna had gotten herself into this time and was surprised to not find any mention of the ill-tempered woman in the report. However, Seven of Nine was mentioned more than once and Janeway set the report down to rub her temples.

'_If it's not one of them, it's the other_,' she thought, referring to the two women that she had set aside as personal projects from the moment they stepped on board Voyager and displayed their talents to her. She had been delighted to see that they had finally resolved their differences and not one report had been made about an altercation between them in the past three weeks, but they both still seemed unable to stay out of trouble.

She reread what the altercations were about and with whom and though she might have let a few of them slide, there were too many for her not to get involved. She began preparing her speech and called for Seven of Nine to come to her ready room.  
…

Seven seethed as she left Janeway's office, cursing the various crewmen that she had upset. It wasn't her fault that they were inefficient, yet she was expected to ignore them in this and allow them to make mistakes. She admitted that a few mistakes were necessary for learning, but repeating the same mistake until it became obvious that they were incapable of learning seemed cause enough for them to be relieved of that duty.

She mulled over the words the captain had reprimanded her with as she walked to Engineering, but as soon as she walked through the doors and saw B'Elanna standing there, backlit by the warp care and magnificent in her obvious happiness, all her dark thoughts vanished. B'Elanna was laughing as she ran a diagnostic of the engines and talked to Lt. Carey.

"Go on, Joe. Get that damn coil aligned." Carey laughed and obeyed, disappearing around the corner. Seven watched as B'Elanna went back to work, smiling and felt a pang of worry. '_Could Lieutenants Torres and Carey be considering dating?_' They spent enough time together in Engineering and it was common amongst humanoid cultures to become romantically involved with the people they worked the closest with. She decided to watch Lt. Carey and make sure he didn't get too close with B'Elanna, surprising herself with the sense of possessiveness she felt over the half-Klingon.

"Seven!" B'Elanna called, waving the ex-Borg over to her. Seven walked to B'Elanna, hands behind her back and holding a padd.

B'Elanna was almost beaming as she greeted Seven, honestly glad to see her. Though Carey had been entertaining her with tales from the lower engineering decks, she felt the need for company. Specifically, Seven of Nine. The two had become best friends in the past few months and she barely remembered that they had once avoided each other like the plague. Now she only anticipated their time together as time well spent.

"Hello, Lieu—B'Elanna. You seem well."

"Yeah, how are you?"

"I am in good health. However, I have just come from the captain's ready room." Seven offered B'Elanna the report from behind her back.

"Uh-oh," B'Elanna said, taking the padd. "Are you in trouble?"

"Not much, though I have been ordered to apologize to four different crewmen." Seven watched B'Elanna's brown eyes scanning the report. B'Elanna laughed.

"I can't count how many apologies I've given the past seven years. More than I have at any other time in my life, no doubt. Except maybe grade school. This is great, Seven. I think you just shaved at least a year off our journey with this. I'll get to recalibrating the drive immediately." She looked up into Seven's eyes, causing the slightest smile from the blonde.

"Why are you in such a good mood, B'Elanna?" Seven asked, her curiosity finally getting the better of her.

"I don't know. I've just been having good dreams, I guess." B'Elanna flashed on one of those dreams—pale skin in silk sheets, blue eyes and full lips—and she almost blushed. Seven raised her ocular implant. "Come on," B'Elanna said, touching Seven's arm unconsciously and walking to their destination.

_2373..._

Jessica assured them that the infirmary was only around two more bends. Janeway hoped so, because her shoulder was throbbing horribly. She was noting that Chakotay's limp was getting worse when suddenly, the door to the right of Jessica suddenly flew open and out. There was a blur and Kathryn lifted her retrieved weapon to point at the dark form, but waited to fire until she knew if it was a threat.

The form slammed Jessica into the wall and both held their hands ready to strike and froze. Janeway had to take her finger off the trigger before she fired when she saw that the alien was a Klingon boy. His long hair flew about his rounded face, unkempt and wavy. Jessica threw her arms around him and they murmured to each other, too quiet to be heard over the music. The boy held Jessica at arm's length and looked at her with love.

"I was so worried, Jess." She smoothed his hair away from his face. Kathryn was no expert at judging Klingon ages, but she guessed he was about Jessica's age.

"I'm fine, Alex. Don't worry, love." Alex and Jessica kissed, obviously happy to see each other. When they pulled away, Alex's hand moved from Jessica's neck to her back and she winced. He noticed and immediately his hand tightened and he pulled her to him, looking at the wounds on her back by pulling her shirt away from the skin. He went still and Jessica leaned back against the wall, her eyes closed. She hugged herself and Alex leaned in, his forehead pressed against hers.

He slammed his hand into the wall next to Jessica, making her jump.

"chay'?" Alex asked quietly. Jessica glared up at him, mixed emotions playing across her face.

"yItamchoH! naDev qaS wanI' ramqu'. yaj'a'?"

"bIlughbe'. DuwI'vam luq bech jay'!" Jessica grabbed Alex and slammed him into the wall. Kathryn wondered why her universal translator wasn't working.

"ghobe!" Jessica said and Alex began to interrupt. "jISahbe' Da SoH! Please." Alex slumped and hung his head. Finally, he admitted defeat with a nod of his head. Janeway just wished that she knew what the hell they had just said to each other. "Good, then let's go. The infirmary is right here. We can all get cleaned up." Alex looked around at the group. "Oh," Jessica said, realizing that she hadn't made introductions. "That's Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. Captain, this is my husband, Alexander Rozhenko."

"Pleased to meet you," Kathryn said, shaking the hand the boy offered, remembering absently that it wasn't the name of the baby's father, but reserving that question for later. "Rozhenko... Why is that name familiar?"

"It's a Starfleet name. Sergey Rozhenko ring a bell?" Kathryn shook her head at Jessica's question. "Then how about Worf Rozhenko?" Kathryn's eyes widened.

"The first Klingon in Starfleet." Alexander looked uncomfortable and walked a slight ways away, but nodded to her.

"My father," he answered.

"We met on the Enterprise when we were kids, after I came back from the Academy and my accelerated schedule of classes. When the Enterprise-D exploded, Alexander chose to come and marry with me rather than live with his grandparents on Earth. But that's enough history for now. We'll talk in the infirmary." Jessica took three steps in the direction she had been pointing and stopped. She reached out a hand and a forcefield buzzed blue against it. She cursed.

"Why is there a forcefield?" Janeway asked.

"Probably to keep the cretins out of the pharmaceuticals." Jessica growled.

"How do we turn it off?" Tom asked. Jessica pointed through the forcefield at the touchpad on the other side.

"Only way."

"So we came this far for nothing?" Chakotay asked, angrily. Jessica looked at him and shook her head.

"Fuck you, Chakotay," Jessica hissed. Alexander looked up at the name and glared at the Native American man for a moment. Chakotay looked back, but said nothing. Alexander wasn't the first to look away. Janeway was getting sick and tired of all the mysteries and of being confused, but forced herself to be calm and accept that answers would come in time. Jessica turned back to the forcefield and stepped back.

"No!" Alexander yelled at the same time B'Elanna rushed towards Jessica, but it was too late. Jessica charged the forcefield, hitting it full on and pushed one hand through. Kathryn could almost swear that she saw scales cover the areas of skin that touched the field. Jessica kept pushing, beyond all human tolerance until she was halfway through and Kathryn flashed on the one time she had seen a field activate when someone was halfway through. They had screamed and writhed for only a few seconds before passing out from the pain.

Jessica collapsed in a heap on the other side, barely breathing. She tried to get up and fell. She repeated the process several times, dragging herself closer to the touchpad that would shut off the forcefield. After almost a minute of this, she made it and slapped the panel, then passed out. The field flickered and died. Alexander was by Jessica's side in a second, lifting her up. The motley group filed into the infirmary for some much needed doctoring.  
…

Kathryn couldn't believe how sophisticated the Shashan medical technology was. Within an hour, she, Chakotay, Alexander and B'Elanna were healed and healthy. Fifteen minutes later, Tom had his hand back and half an hour later, Jessica was coming around. Letraya had to inject her with several different compounds to stabilize her, but finally Jessica woke up. She looked around, disoriented at first, then she sat up.

"How long was I out?"

"Less than two hours," Letraya answered. Jessica nodded and hopped off the bed. Her legs immediately folded. Letraya looked down at her and said coolly, "There may be some nerve damage from your little stunt." Jessica took a deep breath and stood. Her legs were a little shaky, but other than that, she seemed fine.

"You look like hell," B'Elanna told her. Jessica looked over at the half-Klingon and grinned toothily.

"Look in a mirror, why don't you?" Jessica ran a hand through her short hair and then rubbed her nose. She sneezed. She glared around at the surroundings and began muttering something about 'dogs' that Kathryn didn't quite catch.

"You're lucky to be alive," Janeway growled at the girl. She saw Alexander smile at her from the corner of her eye. Jessica waved it away with a 'pfff' sound.

"You'd do no less for Voyager." Janeway had to stop herself from arguing. She had a feeling that the girl was right. "Besides that, I knew the infirmary was right here and that everything would work out in the end."

"We're nowhere near the end." Jessica looked at the captain and this time, she didn't have a quick smile. Her eyes even looked a little haunted.

"You can wait here if you like. I can take the ship from here. The Bridge is right above us. We just go down this corridor, go up and double back and it's there. You won't have to get into any more fights. When I'm done, I can send you back to your ship. You've done all I asked and helped me immensely. There's no reason for you to go any further."

There was a moment of silence as everyone considered their options. Kathryn was about to accept Jessica's offer when Tom Paris spoke up.

"In for a penny, in for a pound."

"I'm with you all the way," B'Elanna said.

"I do not sit back while my allies fight when I have two good arms and two good legs." Letraya spread her magnificent wings in emphasis. Chakotay just nodded.

"Where you go, so goes my world," Alexander said, poetically. Kathryn looked at Tuvok and realized that he was with her, no matter which way she went. Janeway decided that if her officers were willing to fight, then so was she.

"I didn't come all this way to stop before the biggest job of all." The captain looked around her. "But I will miss the peace and quiet." From the moment the doors shut on the infirmary, Kathryn's head had been given a rest by the soundproof walls. She braced herself to be bombarded by the sound once again.

"You're all idiots," Jessica growled. Then her expression softened. "But you're also welcome friends, when I need them." She squeezed B'Elanna's hand with her own and Alexander's in her other. "Thank you."

_Present..._

"Seven," Captain Janeway looked up at the woman standing across from her. "Why did you break Lieutenant Carey's nose?"

"I... do not know, Captain."

"You don't know?"

"He..." Seven looked away from the captain and tried to come up with a better excuse than '_he seemed to be flirting with B'Elanna._' She still did not understand her actions. She felt horrible already, having found out that Carey had a wife and two kids, which he had never been unfaithful to. She couldn't bring herself to admit to having attacked him over something he hadn't even done. "I was... mistaken, Captain, and I am sorry." It was the closest she could come to a confession, and luckily, enough for Janeway.

"I don't understand it, Seven, but if you say you're sorry, then I believe you. But I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. If you were an officer, you would be in the brig right now. But you're not, so I'm going to go easy on you, if you promise me that this will never happen again." Seven nodded and turned to leave. "Seven." She froze at the captain's voice and turned around. "I need your word."

"You have it, captain. I shall never assault another crewmember again without just cause."

"Alright. I want you to understand that if he files formal charges against you, I shall take formal disciplinary action. Until then though, I will attempt to find a suitable punishment. When I have thought of it, I'll inform you. Dismissed." Seven nodded, relieved that this was over and left the ready room.

After Seven left, Kathryn leaned back in her chair and laughed, feeling bad for Lt. Carey. She recalled the day, seven years ago, when she visited him in Sickbay for the exact same injury. Only then, it had been B'Elanna's hand that had done the damage. She couldn't imagine what he could have done to warrant that kind of reaction from the usually calm ex-drone, but she could imagine his surprise when it happened.

Seven walked quickly into the turbolift. "Deck five." A few moments later, the lift opened up to the corridor outside Sickbay and Seven entered. Lt. Carey sat with the doctor standing over him, finishing repairing the damage Seven had done.

"There you go, Lieutenant, good as new." The doctor gave Seven a quizzical glance. "May I help you, Seven?"

"I need to speak with Lieutenant Carey."

"In a civil manner, I hope?'

"Yes, Doctor."

"Then I'll leave you two alone." Seven watched the EMH retreat to his office, and then she looked at Lt. Carey, who looked ready to run.

"I have come to apologize. My actions were inexcusable."

"You got that right." Carey growled, on the defensive. "I'm going to press charges, you know." He watched her, afraid of her reaction.

"That is within your legal rights." Seven turned to leave, refusing to say another word.

"Aren't you going to at least explain to me why you hit me?" Seven paused and turned to him.

"Would it affect your decision to press charges?"

"It might."

"I believed, incorrectly, that you were making romantic overtures towards Lieutenant Torres."

"You're right about being incorrect. I'm a married man!"

"I was unaware of that fact until very recently."

"Why would you hit me for flirting with Lt. Torres, anyway?"

"I do not know," Seven replied, honestly. She felt a warmth rush to her cheeks, but remained unaware that she was blushing. It wasn't lost on Carey, though, who recognized what the ex-drone herself hadn't.

"Shit, Seven. Look, you have to sort this out before she gets a real boyfriend and you go and kill him."

"That is unlikely."

"Yeah, well, you never know." Carey stood and walked up to Seven. He was about to put his hand on her shoulder when he decided that perhaps she wouldn't appreciate it. "Only you can tell yourself why you hit me. I think you might already know, or at least have your suspicions. I can't tell you, it's not my place. Jut think about it, okay?"

"I will consider what you have told me, Lieutenant."

"That's all I ask. And don't worry, Seven. I won't press charges or even tell anyone why you hit me. I'll just tell them to mind their own business, but you will probably have to explain it to B'Elanna. And I don't envy you there." With that, he walked out of Sickbay, leaving Seven more confused than ever.

…

"It is of a personal nature."

"Well, no shit it was personal. I mean, you don't just hit someone for no reason and I am pretty sure that you weren't hired or coerced into doing it. But why can't you tell me?"

"Lt. Carey and I made an agreement not to disclose that information."

"Fine." B'Elanna growled and stole the ball from Seven. She danced it between her feet down the field, pushing them to run at a speed where speech was impossible. The ball floated above the holographic grass, never touching and B'Elanna controlled it with skill, dodging Seven's holographic teammates. Seven admired the fluidity with which B'Elanna maneuvered down the field in the bright, simulated sunlight. Harry burst from among the holograms to steal the ball from B'Elanna and passed it to Seven.

"I have to admit," he panted as he caught up to Seven. "I'm curious... too." Seven passed the ball back to him and he elbowed it down towards the ground and evaded one hologram to be knocked down by B'Elanna as she aggressively recovered the ball.

"Way too slow, Starfleet," she called and he climbed to his feet, running after her. Seven was about to ambush her when one of B'Elanna's holographic teammates smashed into her. Her strategy ruined, she tried to just take the ball from the fiery Klingon, but B'Elanna was just too fast. She scored the point, tying up the scores. The ball reappeared in the middle of the field as they resumed starting positions.

Seven and B'Elanna both attacked it at once, succeeding in only tangling in each other's limbs and falling to the ground. B'Elanna laughed, much to Seven's surprise. Seven found herself happy to be lying under B'Elanna, but she did not see the humor in the situation. B'Elanna tried to stand and only succeeded in tripping back onto Seven, who grunted softly as the wind was knocked out of her.

"Are you all right?" B'Elanna asked, catching her breath. Seven nodded, though she wasn't sure that she was. Her heart was racing so fast it felt as though it would damage itself against her ribcage and she felt light-headed.

"Are you two gonna roll around in the grass for the rest of our off time or are you going to finish this game?" Harry teased and B'Elanna shot a toothy grin at him.

"Oh, you're gonna die, Starfleet." B'Elanna managed to stand this time and Seven followed. The game resumed and Seven and Harry's team won, the final point being scored by Ensign Kim. They exited the holodeck amidst loud conversation between Harry and B'Elanna with Seven adding her ever-calm voice to the boisterous banter every now and then.

"So, Seven, how was your first hoverball game?" Harry asked, grinning ear to ear.

"I... enjoyed it."

"See? And wasn't that more fun than us just beating each other?" Harry asked B'Elanna.

"Yeah, it was great. But next time, she's on my team." Seven felt her heart speed up again and she felt exuberant in the middle of her two best friends. Both were hyper and bouncing off each other and her, hanging on and laughing until they injured themselves. Seven remained quiet, but had a smile on her face the entire walk to the Mess Hall, where they all shared dinner.

As Seven looked up at B'Elanna over Neelix's Anobi vegetable loaf, she considered what Lt. Carey had spoken to her about. His words echoed in the back of her mind as she watched B'Elanna laughing and joking with Harry.

"It's better than edible this time, I think I like it!" Harry declared, causing B'Elanna to wrinkle her nose. Seven smiled at the cute gesture. B'Elanna had a plate of Andorian pasta in front of her, having preferred to use her replicator rations rather than try the offensive looking hot meal prepared by Neelix.

"I'll have to take your word for it. It looks scary to me."

"I find it palatable." Seven said, adding her compliment to Harry's. A hand suddenly appeared on her shoulder and Seven looked into the beaming face of their Talaxian chef.

"Glad to hear you like it, Seven!" Neelix said joyfully, then walked away to talk to other members of the crew. When Seven looked back, B'Elanna was grinning at her.

"Well, if you say it's good, Seven, then maybe I should have tried some." Seven was overcome by an urge to offer B'Elanna some of the food off her fork and so she did so. B'Elanna looked surprised, but smiled and leaned in to take the proffered sample. She chewed thoughtfully for a moment then smiled. "Not bad." Seven smiled back until she was hit with a realization.

She stood, grinding her chair backwards and dropping her fork She excused herself and walked towards the exit to the Mess Hall, leaving behind two very confused senior officers.

**_To be continued…_**


	8. Now you know

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 6 title is from "Now You Know" by Full Devil Jacket._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse…

* * *

**Home, Chapter 6  
**_Now you know... _

* * *

_2373... _

Jessica sneezed. Kathryn looked at her, slightly worried. That had been the sixth time in the past few minutes. The girl rubbed her nose and wheezed slightly, then rubbed her watering eyes.

"Are you okay?" Janeway asked.

"Allergies." Jessica replied, sniffing.

"What are you allergic to?" Tom asked.

"Ragweed, eucalyptus, blooming Vulcan cacti, Betazoid seafood, Norcadian dogs and Benzites," Jessica answered.

"Benzites?" Kathryn asked.

"Yeah, something about the respirator they use. But I think I'm reacting to a Norcadian dog, if I'm smelling what I think I am."

"Norcadian. Is that a species from the Delta Quadrant?" Chakotay asked. Jessica nodded.

"Yeah, about eleven years from here at warp nine, in the direction of the Alpha Quadrant."

"So we might be encountering them," Kathryn said quietly. "Hope they're friendly."

"They're not really violent." Jessica said, then sneezed again. Letraya walked up to her with a hypospray in her hand.

"This should stem those allergies for you," she said in her deep voice. She reached one purple hand towards Jessica's neck and Jessica stopped her.

"It won't make me drowsy will it?" The Moayan woman laughed and shook her head. Then she applied the hypo and a hiss told them that the medicine had been administered. They walked in silence for a few minutes when Janeway suddenly saw a dark blur headed for B'Elanna. Jessica saw it too, obviously, because she was moving faster than Kathryn could even react.

There was a thud as the two bodies collided and B'Elanna hit the wall, propelled out of the way by the quick-moving form of Jessica. The two blurs suddenly stood still, taking shape. Kathryn looked at the animal attacking them and had to repress a shudder.

It stood on four legs, its ugly snout suggestive of a canine. Its mottled brown skin was wrinkled and bunched loosely around its body, covered in a thick, warty hide. Its dirty yellow eyes flashed as it opened its slavering maw, revealing jagged, white teeth. It sniffed from the slits above its mouth and lowered its earless head to the ground. 'Thhk' Chakotay shot the beast with a bolt from his dart gun and it roared a horrific, trumpeting roar, swinging its brutish head around to look at him.

Jessica answered the roar with a growl as she stood in a defensive posture. The bass growl reverberated in Kathryn's bones and she wondered how anyone that small could produce a growl that loud. The creature turned back to her and they stood frozen in combative postures, staring each other down.

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**_WHAM!_** The beast slammed its bulk into Jessica, who received him with waiting knife. The dog swiped her blade away with a huge, clawed paw and butted her with its heavy head. Jessica kicked at it, knocking it backwards and it jumped on her. She wrestled with it a moment, its jaws snapping in her face, then she got her legs between their bodies and kicked it away from her.

It hit the ground with a high-pitched yelp and turned to face her again. She stood and faced off against it, kicking off her boots to reveal the Shashan toeclaws that Kathryn had noticed on the boy earlier. Janeway stared at the large, sharp, hooked claw on Jessica's big toe. The beast reared up to stand on its hind legs, revealing that it was capable of bipedal motion.

It flung itself at Jessica and she let it, falling onto her back, knees drawn up against her chest. Its stomach rested on her feet and she kicked, pulling the torso of the beast closer and ripping up the creature's abdomen. It screamed a deep scream and bit her shoulder, making her cry out and release it. It moved away from her and examined its wounds. A dark, viscous fluid oozed out of the gashes on its lower body, seeping onto the floor.

Janeway covered her nose and mouth when the smell hit her. She saw Paris gagging out of the corner of her eyes and even Tuvok covered his nose, his eyes watering. The beast roared so loudly this time that Kathryn had to transfer her hand from her mouth to join the other hand in covering her ears. Jessica responded with a roar that sounded much like a lion's.

The beast ran at her, but feigned one direction before attacking her from behind. Jessica was knocked onto her stomach and immediately, she curled up, her hands going to protect the back of her neck in the classic position to avoid serious injury in a dog attack. The animal ripped her shirt open in back and Kathryn was amazed to see a series of spinal ridges raise up on her back, pulling the skin taut. The animal attacked these and Jessica screamed horribly.

Suddenly, a jolt of electricity traveled from Jessica's body into the dog and it was flung back in the throws of electrocution, roaring and seizing. Jessica panted a moment, then sat up and looked at the creature, which had gone still. Blood ran down the girl's back and jagged wounds gaped open, strips of flesh hanging off. Painfully, Jessica crawled towards the dog and it sat up.

They sat eye to eye for only a second, and then the animal opened its mouth to bite her. Instantly, Jessica's cheeks swelled and she hissed a spray into the canine's face. The dog screamed and began convulsing once again. Jessica stood and walked, unsteadily, to the sword that had been ripped off her shoulder in the fight. She walked back to the animal and raised the blade. With one stroke, the animal's suffering ceased.

Everything was quiet for a few moments. Then Jessica sneezed.

"You look like a dragon," Tom said. Jessica looked at him, her inhuman eyes glowing brown.

"That's a compliment." Jessica said, then glanced at her back. She hissed in pain and closed her eyes. Kathryn watched in amazement as what looked like blue electrical current flashed across the bloody wound. Letraya walked forward, medical kit in hand and began working on the wound, which was already closing, visibly. The spinal ridges seemed to begin at Jessica's neck and followed a straight line, growing larger, then smaller, to her coccyx, where they ended. Within minutes, Letraya had closed the wound and was cleaning up Jessica by pouring the last of the water from her canteen over the pale back.

After, Jessica approached Alexander and presented him with her back. He ran his hand down it, laying the spines flat.

"You can stick them up, but you can't lay them flat?" Tom teased. Jessica smiled weakly at him.

"Embarrassing, isn't it?' she admitted. "I get teased about it a lot."

"Sorry," Tom said, smiling back. Alexander glared at him and took off the black tunic he was wearing over black pants. He gave it to Jessica, who donned it and laughed when it fell to her knees. She grabbed a strip of her blue shirt and used it as a belt. Then she replaced the shoulder holster for her sword and retrieved her dagger. "How did you do that trick with the spray?" Tom asked her, ignoring Alexander's warning glances.

Jessica opened her mouth and bared her teeth. Her canines extended into the fangs that Kathryn had noticed earlier and then one of them dripped. Jessica turned away and quickly spat it out.

"Venom," the girl said simply. "Then I hissed and it sprayed."

"Didn't know you were a poisonous dragon," Tom flirted. Alexander pushed himself away from the wall and growled at the group.

"Let's get moving." He put a possessive arm around Jessica, who snuggled happily into it and walked away from the group. Everyone else gathered their bearings and followed.

* * *

_Present..._

"What?" The Doctor asked the almost babbling ex-drone. "Slow down, Seven."

"I asked, is it possible for one woman to be attracted to another?"

"Of course it is. Why would you think otherwise?"

"It is illogical. Physical attraction exists to bring two individuals together as mates. Mating exists to produce offspring. Two females cannot produce offspring on their own." Seven looked almost frenzied and the Doctor wondered what had happened.

"Love is not logical, Seven. Besides, many couples come together with no intentions of ever producing children. Those couples consist, within human standards, of course, of men with women, women with women, and men with men. And there's no reason that those couples, should they decide they want children, not have them, either through one of many artificial insemination procedures or adoption. Not since the early twenty-first century has humankind been any different. And then, the couples still existed, just not without social stigma."

"What changed?"

"Humans realized that love comes in all forms and to deny it is to deny one of the most beautiful parts of being human."

"You never mentioned any of this in our lessons on romance," Seven said, in an accusatory tone.

"It never occurred to me." The doctor walked around Seven and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked at it as though she didn't really see it. "Seven, what's happened. Has a female crewmember come on to you?"

"No." Seven looked at the EMH. "I believe I am infatuated with Lieutenant Torres." The doctor froze.

"Is that what the incident with Lt. Carey was about?"

"Yes, though I was not aware of it at the time."

"Look, Seven. I can't tell you how to proceed with this, I can only give you advice."

"Thank you, but I will not be needing that advice. I do not wish to pursue this." The doctor looked Seven in the eyes, concerned.

"Are you sure? If you put this off, you may regret it."

"We are not a compatible match," Seven stated, matter-of-factly.

"How do you know if you don't try?" The doctor asked her, making her second guess herself.

"Thank you for your advice, Doctor." Seven said and hurried out of the Sickbay, her thoughts muddled and confused.

…

B'Elanna frowned at the blonde sitting across the conference room table from her. Seven had canceled their hoverball game, stopped eating lunch with her and had sent Engineering several crewman with data padds or experience to assist B'Elanna rather than coming herself. All in all, B'Elanna was getting the impression that Seven was avoiding her. She wanted to know why, but now was neither the time nor place to ask.

"…and we have yet to be able to contact any of their crew. Our objective is to ascertain what has happened to the crew of the Lanari science vessel, the Crochak."

"Perhaps ignorance is bliss," B'Elanna heard Seven mutter under her breath. Everyone looked at the uncharacteristically sullen ex-drone.

"What was that, Seven?" Janeway asked.

"Nothing," Seven responded. Kathryn looked at her, concerned, but when Seven offered nothing more, she concluded the meeting.

"You have your assignments, dismissed." Everyone stood to leave and Kathryn glanced at Seven. "Seven, I want to speak with you." B'Elanna watched as Seven hung back from the group exiting the briefing room. B'Elanna started to stay behind, too, but one glance from Janeway and she got the idea that she wasn't invited.

Once the doors hissed closed behind her, B'Elanna stood against the wall, waiting for Seven. She felt that they needed to talk about why Seven was avoiding her and hopefully, work it out. She waited around for about five minutes until Seven finally emerged from the room, not really looking where she was going.

"Hey, Seven," B'Elanna said, catching up to walk next to her. "What's going on?"

"With what?' Seven asked, not meeting B'Elanna's eyes.

"Why did Janeway hold you back?"

"She wished to discuss living arrangements with me." Seven and B'Elanna stood outside the turbolift doors and waited for the next car to arrive.

"What, are you two moving in together?" B'Elanna teased with a laugh. To her surprise, Seven spun and looked startled.

"I am not engaging in a romantic relationship with the captain," she said, defensively.

"I never said you were. I was just teasing, Seven. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Seven stepped into the lift as it arrived and B'Elanna followed. "Deck four."

"What about living arrangements, then?" B'Elanna decided not to press Seven. She thought that they had become friends, but now she was wondering if she had been mistaken.

"The captain believes I should be assigned my own quarters."

"You don't agree?"

"I am content with Cargo Bay Two."

"So you're not moving?"

"On the contrary. The captain thinks it will improve my mood if I have a change of scenery. As such, I am 'humoring' her and accepting the reassignment. As soon as an alcove is installed, I shall be moving into crew quarters on the same deck."

"Not Tom's old quarters."

"No. But nearby." The lift doors opened and B'Elanna chased Seven out onto deck four. "Why are you following me, Lieutenant?" _'So now we're back to "Lieutenant,"_ ' B'Elanna thought, sadly.

"I wanted to talk."

"About what?"

"About why you've been avoiding me."

"I have not—"

"Bull. I want an answer, Seven." B'Elanna stuck out her arm, blocking Seven's path. Seven stopped.

"I have simply been busy."

"With what? Being moody and reclusive? No, don't interrupt me. Seven, I thought we were friends, I'm sorry if I was wrong. But friends or not, the truth of the matter still remains, that you are avoiding me. You can't deny it, because that would be a lie. I just want to know why. Did I do something to upset you? What?"

"I have not felt very sociable lately. I have no need for friends. I am sorry if I have injured your feelings, I just prefer to spend my time alone right now." Seven resumed walking to Cargo Bay Two. She heard B'Elanna's fist hit the wall and her curse. She quickly ducked into the cargo bay, never letting B'Elanna see the tear falling down her cheek as she gave into her fear.

…

Kathryn threw the security report across her ready room, giving into her own anger. Though no physical altercations had occurred, several crewmen had reported the fights beginning between B'Elanna Torres and Seven of Nine, once again. Not only that, but theirs were the only two on the report that day.

Damaging equipment.

Fighting with each other.

Fighting with their crewmates.

And a little note at the bottom from Tuvok, expressing his concern that Seven had become reclusive and withdrawn. She did not appear in public anymore and only ate the nutritional supplements that Neelix delivered to her in Cargo Bay Two. She worked and then returned to that damn cargo bay. Kathryn had engineering teams working around the clock to put a regeneration unit in Seven's new quarters, but she knew that it would take more than a change of scenery to raise Seven's spirits once again.

She just wanted to know what would. She had a feeling that it had to do with B'Elanna. The two had become best friends over the past months and then suddenly, they weren't speaking. To anyone. Sam Wildman had filed a report because of her concern over Seven. Naomi had come home in tears because Seven wouldn't explain to her why she had canceled all their future appointments to play games together. Harry Kim had filed a report because he was worried about B'Elanna.

An idea finally occurred to Janeway, but she didn't know what she could do with it. If she had still possessed the padd, she would throw it again. She couldn't interfere in the personal lives of her crew when it wasn't adversely affecting the performance of their duties. If anything, both women had become more efficient. She could talk to them about their fighting, but that was it.

Kathryn rubbed her temples as her head began to pound. She sipped at her now cold coffee and tried to figure out what to do. She had released Seven from punishment when Carey had not filed charges, because she couldn't think of anything that she could do to discipline the ex-drone that wasn't cruel or unusual punishment.

…

"Talk to me, Seven."

"I cannot." Seven looked around at her new quarters. Neelix was helping her move in, though it really felt to her as though he was attempting to counsel her. "I do not require—"

"Seven, you never need anything. Except maybe a tool to repair something. Why is that?" Seven looked at him. He met her gaze, concern etched into his furry face.

"I... do not know."

"What's bothering you, Seven?"

"It is of little consequence."

"That's not true!" Neelix put down the crate he was carrying and sat on her couch, patting the seat next to him. She looked up and sighed, then complied with his unspoken request. "If it's bothering you, then it matters, Seven."

"I..." Seven looked at Neelix and realized that she truly wanted to talk. In fact, she needed to talk. For the first time, it became clear how much she had enjoyed the conversations she had shared with Lt. Torres before terminating their friendship. "It is... personal."

"You can trust me."

"I know."

"Then tell me." Neelix covered her hand with his and patted it lightly. His eyes coaxed the problem from her lips.

"I have developed an infatuation with a member of the crew."

"Well, Seven, that's not something that you should be depressed over."

"It is a female member of the crew."

"Yes, so?" Seven searched his face.

"I fear that she may not return my feelings, so I have not told her."

"Is it B'Elanna?" Neelix asked, leaning in.

"How did you know?"

"It's fairly obvious. You two were spending quite a lot of time together, then suddenly, you were avoiding her, and then you were fighting again."

"I did not know what to do. I was afraid that she would no longer wish to be friends with me—"

"So you decided to end the friendship first, before you got hurt."

"Yes."

"It didn't work, now did it?"

"No. I am... hurt. As is Lieutenant Torres."

"Why don't you try talking to her? I'm sure that she misses you, too. I don't know if she shares your feelings or not, but I do know that she wants to be your friend."

"Even after what I said?"

"What did you say?"

"I told her that I don't want any friends and that I would rather be alone." Neelix scrunched up his face and bared his teeth in a look of 'ouch.'

"Ooh! No wonder she's mad. But it's not like you said that you just didn't want to be _her_ friend. Surely, she'll forgive you."

"Are you certain?"

"Nothing's certain, Seven. But with time, all wounds heal. Even the ones inside."

"Thank you, Mr. Neelix."

"You're welcome, Seven." Neelix gave her a reassuring smile, and then left her to unpack.

…

B'Elanna swore at the circuit relay in front of her. She had been trying to bypass it for twenty minutes, to no avail. A simple job was being complicated by a stubborn relay. She heard the footstep behind her and assumed the shadow falling over her was that of Vorik, who had been calling her for the last fifteen minutes to check on her progress.

"I told you, I'll have it done in a few minutes, Vorik." B'Elanna growled, the spun around. "Seven?"

"I have come to apologize, Lieuten—B'Elanna." B'Elanna looked up at the tall blonde, confused and angry.

"About what?"

"I wish to resume our friendship." Seven was barely forcing herself to stand there. Everything inside her was screaming at her to bolt.

"You hurt me, Seven. I just wanted to be your friend and you wouldn't even give me a reason as to why you were ending our friendship. Besides, I thought you didn't _want_ friends. You wanted to be _alone_. Well, looks like you got your wish." It was more than Seven could take, she spun and walked quickly out of Engineering without another word. B'Elanna turned back to her job.

She lifted the sonic spanner, her hand trembling, and pointed it at its task, but when she tried to press the switch to activate it; she only succeeded in dropping it. She tried to pick it up, but couldn't see past the tears forming in her eyes. She covered her face with her hands to catch the tears before they fell to the deck.

Vorik was approaching her when her shoulders shook with a silent sob. He froze, not knowing what he should do. She was so unpredictable that he was uncertain whether or not to ask her what was wrong. He concluded that there were three ways she would react: either yell at him to mind his own business, pretend that nothing was wrong, or cry on his shoulder. He did not desire either emotional outcome and he knew that for her, to deny her feelings would make her ill. He finally decided to just let her cry, hoping that it would make her feel better.

B'Elanna didn't feel better when she stopped crying. She broke the sonic spanner in half.

_**To be continued…**_


	9. Joining You

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 7 title is from "Joining You" by Alanis Morrisette. Song contained within is "The Man You Fear" by Marilyn Manson._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse…

* * *

**Home, Chapter 7  
**_Joining You..._

* * *

_2373..._

The group walked out onto the bridge, firing weapons and taking down whatever aliens they could from a distance. Only one Vorchen remained away from the fight, down in the command area: the Cardassian captain, Kanir. Jessica walked down to him while her comrades finished securing the bridge.

"So you are the vole that has been causing so much trouble for me." He sneered and walked up to her. "Who are you, girl?" Jessica turned to look him full in the face.

"Don't you know me?" She asked, her voice low and dangerous. Kanir's eyes squinted, then his face broke into a wide grin. He threw his head back and laughed.

"The bastard brat!" He laughed uproariously at her. "Oh, was it only nine years ago? And here you are, even older than that. Of course, I've heard the story as to how, but I want to know how you knew."

"You just told me." Kanir laughed again.

"So I did. Then what is it, brat? Have you come to avenge your mother?" Then his sneer grew wider. "Or your daughter." At this point, the entire group had finished fighting and was watching the exchange. Jessica stood stiffly, her back bristling and her ridges rising in fury. Kathryn saw her eyes glowing red for an instant. Jessica blinked and she appeared normal again, if it weren't for the telltale spinal ridges, raised like the hackles on a cat.

"Both. It is your choice, of course, as to how this ends. I am officially placing you under arrest as a criminal—"

"You know that I won't go quietly to a prison facility, so you'll just have to accept the challenge I'll lay out for you. Mortal combat, if you will." He spit the words at her and Jessica didn't move. Not one muscle twitched and Janeway couldn't even tell if she was breathing.

"We require a judge." Jessica said, still not moving anything but her lips. Kanir walked over to the command seat and pressed a button. A forcefield popped into effect, only inches from Kathryn's nose.

"No!" Alexander yelled, hitting the forcefield as though he would try Jessica's earlier trick of stepping through it.

"Calm down, Alex. This is not your fight." Jessica said without looking at him.

"That is right, boy. Listen to your woman," Kanir taunted. "After all, you are no killer like she." He turned to face her. "We have a panel of judges now."

"Choose your weapon." Jessica said.

"Call me old fashioned, but... how about... swords?" He flashed the steel from his back, whipping it into view with lightning-quick movements. Jessica began stripping her weapons until she was left only with a long, double edged sword with a leather-wrapped hilt. "Now, no changing shape in the middle of the fight. You won't have a problem obeying your own rules, will you?"

"Of course not. My word is my honor."

"And you honor your word," he mocked. "No claws, either. Nasty way to die, there." Jessica held up her hands and the black claws turned clear. "Well, I suppose no adamantium is as good as no claws. At least the—"

"Must you keep pontificating?" Jessica said, quietly.

"Oh, my dear. This is not pontificating. No, that was what that fool who claimed your mother's life offered you. I make no claims, I only offer bare facts."

"He did slit her throat. I remember."

"Yes, but you also remember what I did. Right before I put the dagger in her chest, so that prattling fool could take it and put it in yours."

"How do you—?" Jessica began, but Kanir interrupted.

"I was there, cloaked in the shadows, just another Cardassian visiting the station that day. You were magnificent, my dear. Especially when you reached in and pulled out his still-beating heart." Kathryn narrowed her eyes, her breath catching in horror. "The flame job was brilliant."

"I never bluff," was all Jessica offered.

"But to take a man's heart, just for touching your—"

"Watch it." Jessica finally looked up at him. "Like I said, must you keep—" his sword was flying at her head in an instant. Hers moved faster than any sword Janeway had ever seen. The fight was on. The combatants moved fluidly, clashing swords in a silver dance. Kanir swung at Jessica's legs and she jumped into a backward aerial, landing with practiced ease. Kanir smiled.

"The acrobatics must grow tiring, dear." Jessica moved faster and faster, forcing Kanir to stop talking so that he could keep up. But still, he wasn't fast enough. He lost his left arm after making just one mistake. Kanir screamed and held up his remaining hand. Jessica stopped her blade a breath away from that hand. She lay the blade against her leg, waiting.

Kathryn watched with mingled amazement and horror as Kanir's arm was shot through with the same electrical impulses that Jessica had shown, to heal her back, earlier. The wound closed very quickly and the fight resumed. Without warning, Kanir kicked Jessica. She yelled and fell back, her hand going to her side. It came away, smeared with blood. Janeway looked down at Kanir's boot and saw the bladed toe.

"Is that cheating?" Janeway asked Alexander, who was clutching the guard rail in front of him like he would use it to propel himself through the field blocking him from his young wife.

"Yes." Alexander growled.

Jessica looked up at Kanir, her eyes flashing red.

"There it is! The anger, the passion. If you're going to fight me, do it with your heart, or I shall never release your family's souls." Jessica froze halfway up from the ground and looked at him, a look in her eyes that Kathryn didn't recognize.

"That's quite a boast." Jessica said slowly.

"I told you, I do not boast."

"You're nothing but a slimy Cardassian. You can't honestly expect me to believe that you're a soul eater."

"In the worst possible way," he growled. "Thanks to the blood of your... mother." Jessica shrieked and flung herself at him, her sword flying. He blocked and parried, but not fast enough. She cut off his sword hand and knocked his feet out from under him. He fell to his knees, his head down. She raised her sword and Kathryn looked away, unable to watch. "What are you waiting for?" Kanir asked.

Janeway looked back. Jessica's sword hung in mid-air, prepared to attack, but unwilling. A tremble in her arm told just what it took to stay her hand.

"Last chance. We'll clean you up, reattach your arm and hand and release you to the penal colony on Shasha Alpha Six. Fresh air, hard work, no escape."

"I would rather die." Kanir said, sneering.

"Are you certain?"

"If you don't kill me, your family will never find peace. I never will." Jessica's sword never wavered. "Drop your blade, end my life. Or else, I'll end yours." Not a second passed between his last word and the removal of his head. It may have been a clean cut, but Janeway still would have preferred not to see it. The music around them was dark, full of whispered voices and angry words. Kathryn looked at Jessica, who staggered backwards and fell to the floor.

Then Jessica screamed. At first, Kathryn saw no reason for it. Jessica was on her side, facing away from the body. But the shapes moving from within the dead Cardassian weren't aliens of any kind that Janeway had seen before. She wondered; could they truly be souls?

Jessica screamed as they left the body, some disappearing through the hull, others rushing to caress the screaming child before they departed.

" 'Pray unto your fear, Pray your life was just a **_dream_**, the cut that never heals... Pray now, baby, pray your life was just a dream,' " Jessica cried, covering her head with her arms and curling into a ball. Kathryn heard the words coming from the music. 'There's no one left to hear you scream, no one left for you...'

Janeway wanted to run down and pull the girl away from what was happening, but she surmised that there was no place to take her to escape the tormented voices whispering in her head. For that was what she guessed they were doing that was driving Jessica mad. Kathryn almost felt guilty for her next thought, '_Thank God or whoever that I'm not telepathic.'_

The music ended. Jessica looked up at the ghostly form floating in front of her. Kathryn gasped when she saw that it looked jut like the child, only older.

"Mother?" Jessica looked at her, tears running down her cheeks. The spirit reached out a spectral hand to her. Jessica began crying. "Please, let me go with you, Mommy, please!" Kathryn felt her heart wrench at the words. The spirit shook her head.

"She says no..." Kathryn's head spun to B'Elanna, who was watching with her eyes looking glazed. " 'You are not finished here. Your time is yet to come.' " Janeway looked at her chief engineer and wondered if she'd gone insane. But when she looked back, Jessica was reacting as though she had heard the same words.

"Please, Mommy, I'm so tired. I want peace. I want to die, please let me _die_!"

" 'My daughter, you have your own family now. You chose this path; do not give up now. I know you are strong.' " B'Elanna continued translating.

"I don't want to be strong anymore, please, I don't want to be," Jessica sobbed. "I'm broken; my mind can't take anymore."

" 'You will be all right. I believe in you.' " Jessica looked up.

"I'm sorry, Mommy, I'm sorry I didn't save you."

" 'No. It was my time. I must go.' 'Mommy?' " B'Elanna's voice didn't change, but the tiny child that glided to Jessica told Kathryn who was speaking.

"Pammy. Oh, I'm so sorry, baby," Jessica reached out to let her hand hover over the child-spirit's hair. "I'm sorry I wasn't a better mother."

" 'You are what you can be, Mommy. I love you. Don't worry, grandma is going to take care of me now.' "

"Mother..."

" 'I am proud of you, Jessica Shanala. I'm sure your father is, too.' "

"Good-bye, Mother," Jessica said, standing. The form shimmered until it faded into nothing. Jessica stood there for a moment, then she fell to her knees and screamed, her head thrown back. A silence filled the room as the child leaned forward and buried her head against her legs. B'Elanna staggered and Tom caught her.

"Are you okay?" he asked. B'Elanna jerked away from him and nodded.

"Fine." She looked at Jessica with pain etched into her features. "But she's not."

"How do you know?" Kathryn asked.

"Probably the same way she knew what that... ghost or whatever was saying," Tom said. "They're... zhanals?"

"Zhanali is the plural," B'Elanna growled and stormed away from the group. Kathryn reached out a hand to stop her and B'Elanna glared at it. Janeway pulled it back.

"For how long?"

"Since the tracheotomy. She did it to take my pain."

"To take it away?" Kathryn asked, confused. B'Elanna spun on Kathryn.

"You heard me. She blocked it, but to do that, she had to join her mind with mine. Which meant she felt the pain, I didn't."

"Why are you being so defensive?"

"Sorry, Captain. It's just... personal." B'Elanna said, then walked away.

Kathryn looked back at Jessica, who was tapping some commands into a console. The forcefield separating them disappeared with a slight hissing sound. Alexander rushed to Jessica the second it did, but she seemed listless as she endured his hug. He whispered something and her head snapped up. She threw her arms around his bare chest and hugged him tightly.

She released Alexander and began walking around the bridge, giving orders on repairing the damage. Immediately, Tom, B'Elanna, Chakotay and Alexander began working on the systems they were assigned to. After she was sure that things were being done properly, Jessica turned her attention to the people remaining, who had nothing to do.

"Mr. Tuvok, Captain Janeway, you can probably relax, unless any of you can find out if my science station can be repaired," she said, inclining her head in the direction of an almost demolished control station.

"I'll have a look," Janeway responded, not yet wound down from the events of the day.

"What about me?" Letraya asked.

"Your work comes later. Then I'll make sure that you get to one of your people's ships safely." Letraya nodded, and then sat on the deck, relaxing. Jessica moved to her own panel and began working.

"When will we be able to contact our ship?" Tuvok asked.

"Soon," Jessica answered. "This is the operations station. I have to restore communications and destroy the dampening field before we can send you home." There was a popping noise from the console Jessica was half hidden under and the girl hissed. "Ow," she said, sitting up and rubbing her hand. Whatever she did worked, however, as the communications indicator on the panel began flashing and a soft sound went off.

"You really need to learn to be careful," B'Elanna reprimanded Jessica. Jessica stuck her tongue out. "Getting it done faster is not worth personal injury." Jessica snorted with laughter, then answered the hail.

"Yeah, what do you want?" She growled, shocking Kathryn with her lack of diplomacy.

"_It's good to hear from you, too_," a male voice crackled over the speakers.

"I should be able to get visual up in a minute. What's your location?"

"_Not far. We'll be there in an hour, maybe a little longer. Are you all right, Jess? No one's heard from you in three weeks. Bendon's been on all our asses to find you._"

"Well, you win the prize Luii. I'm alive and kickin'. How's the war progressing?"

"_The war? Jess, you've been M.I.A. for almost a month and you want to know about the war? Not our esteemed king, your children, the rainfall...?_"

"Stop being an ass and answer my question."

"_They just invaded Mawnwar last night. The Counsel is sending in the riders to root them out. Ragellor is screaming at us to protect them, but with Mawnwar gone... Well, you know. We haven't heard yet from the Mawn government. Speaking of the riders, have you found your husband?_"

"He's right here, Luii."

"_Hello, Alexander. Call Moran, you're going in._" Alexander stood and looked at Jessica.

"Go on, love. You're needed. But come back to me." Alexander walked to her and kissed her. They held each other for a moment, and then Alexander turned to leave. "Don't forget to pick up a riding suit from the laundry room."

"I won't. Take care, Jess."

"You, too," She said softly. Alexander left. The viewscreen flickered to life, showing one of the most beautiful young men Kathryn had ever seen in her life. He had black hair that fell down past his shoulders, shining and soft. Blue-green eyes seemed to glow from his almost feminine face. Yet, she would never mistake him for anything less than a man, even if he hadn't been wearing only a pair of black breeches, billowing out from his boots. She would have been saddened by the fact that he was obviously way too young for her if she didn't have Mark waiting for her at home.

"_You look like shit,_" Luii said once he saw her.

"Fuck you. I've just taken back my ship from some damn Vorchen led by the bastard that murdered my mother."

"_Guess you have a reason, at least. Who are your friends?_"

"You'll meet them when you get here. We're going to give them a tow to Shaola, so we can fix their ship. It was damaged rescuing me." Luii looked at Janeway and she just stared back, wondering why he chose to appear Human, as Jessica did.

"_Then we owe you a debt of gratitude. May I offer the Dracco, flagship of the Shashan Fleet, as an escort at your service._"

"Thank you, Captain... Louie?" Janeway said, trying to say the Shashan name, but only managing the human equivalent.

"_Luii Tarrel, at your service. But Louie is fine. It's what Alexander calls me, too._"

"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager."

"_You're Starfleet? Long way from home, Captain. Not looking for our Jessica are you?_"

"No. We were brought here by force."

"_Caretaker, right? That sucks. He's been bringing ships out here for months now. Sorry for the people you have lost._"

"Luii, do you have any stock on board?" Jessica asked, interrupting the conversation.

"_Yeah, of course. You may have first pick when you get here._" A woman, dressed in the same breeches as Luii, only colored cream, stepped into view. She also wore a matching top that barely covered her breasts. She was a pale green-colored Shashan. Luii looked at her, then nodded and she left. "_Well be there shortly, Dracco out._" The transmission ended abruptly and Jessica gave a gesture of surprise.

"That was polite," she growled sarcastically. Kathryn looked at her and she smiled. "Don't worry, Captain. You can beam back to your ship now. I don't think that there is any reason why you shouldn't. Both Voyager and the Aurora will be repaired by my people, no problem."

"Are you sure?" Kathryn asked.

"Trust me." Jessica gave a half-smile and hailed Voyager, letting them know that their crew was ready to be transported back.

_

* * *

_

_Present..._

"Are you letting me win?" Seven broke from her thoughts to address the young Ktarian's question.

"Of course not. To do so would be unethical."

"Well, that's the third game you've lost. In a row. Is something bothering you?" The little girl started clearing the board.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because when something's bugging me, I can't concentrate, either."

"I am fine, Naomi. But you are correct. I am distracted."

"Well in that case, go on being distracted. I don't mind winning." Seven returned Naomi's smile as they set up the board for the next game.

"_Torres to Seven of Nine._" Seven's heart picked up speed.

"Go ahead."

"_Are you free right now?_"

"No, I am engaged in recreational activities with Naomi Wildman. Is there something you need assistance with?"

"_Yeah. When you're done with your 'recreational activity' I want you to report to the Mess Hall. But don't you dare cut your game short. How are you, kid?_" Naomi grinned at being spoken to over the comm.

"I'm good. I've beat Seven at Kadis Kot three times!"

"_Ha! That's it, you show her, Naomi! See you soon, Seven. Torres out._" As they began the next game, Seven once again found herself distracted as she wondered what B'Elanna was up to.

…

Seven walked to the Mess Hall, suspicious of B'Elanna's motives. Wary of a social gathering, she braced herself as she walked through the doors. Much to her relief, it was only the usual compliment of crew, there to eat dinner. She spotted B'Elanna, sitting alone and waving her over. Hands clasped behind her back, she walked to B'Elanna's table and sat down across from her.

"You wished to speak with me, Lieutenant?" Seven began. B'Elanna smiled mischievously.

"If you call me Lieutenant again, I'll break your nose." B'Elanna responded. Seven raised her implant.

"Very well, Torres, what is it that you wish to discuss?" Seven mocked. B'Elanna saw the glint in Seven's eye and she laughed.

"I don't think I've been called that since the Academy." B'Elanna mumbled. Seven sat, waiting patiently for B'Elanna to continue. "I wanted to discuss our friendship."

"Do you wish to resume it?"

"That depends on how you answer my next question." Seven braced herself. "Why did you call off our friendship?"

"Because I was uncomfortable around you."

"Why?" B'Elanna asked, leaning forward.

"Please, B'Elanna. I fear that in answering that question, I will jeopardize any chance we have of resuming our companionship."

"I don't want to be friends with someone that is uncomfortable being around me."

"My discomfort has been eased." B'Elanna started to get angry.

"Good for you. Now tell me why you were uncomfortable." Seven looked at B'Elanna, sadly.

"If it is no longer an obstacle—"

"It's an obstacle for me, now." B'Elanna noticed that Seven was shaking, but she felt that she needed to press the issue.

"If the exigency for the continuation of our camaraderie is for me to confess to something that causes me extensive embarrassment, then I fear I am not capable of maintaining our social intimacy." Seven stood and began walking away.

"That's it?" B'Elanna growled, incredulously. Seven stopped and turned around.

"I value your companionship, B'Elanna. But at this time, I am unable to comfortably express the reasons for my disassociation with you."

"Then don't," B'Elanna leaned toward Seven, looking down, the looked back up at her, "push me away again. If you're not comfortable talking about it now, will you ever be able to 'express your reasons?'"

"Perhaps." Seven offered. B'Elanna considered Seven's answer.

"I can live with that. Now sit down, dammit. People are beginning to stare." B'Elanna growled, looking around. Seven smiled slightly and sat down. She noticed Neelix wink at her from the corner of her eye and she smiled at him before turning back to B'Elanna.

"Then we are friends again?" Seven smiled when B'Elanna nodded.

"But I don't want to be friends with you if you're going to avoid me every time that a problem arises, rather than dealing with me directly."

"I will not make the same mistake twice. To do so would be... inefficient." B'Elanna smiled at Seven and picked up the tea she had been drinking and sipped at it.

"Are you hungry?"

"I have already consumed my nutritional supplement for this meal period," Seven answered. B'Elanna made a face.

"Let me ask you something. Do you ever try to fit in?" B'Elanna inquired. Seven thought for a moment.

" 'Fit in?' Please elaborate."

"You know, like with the way you speak. You still speak like a Borg. Is that so much of your personality? Do you ever _want_ to try and talk to people like they do?"

"Yes. However, my attempt to integrate colloquialisms into my speech has been inadequate at best. Often, it is the subject of derisive jokes made at my expense." B'Elanna looked at Seven and apologized with sincerity.

"Seven, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"I pretend to be oblivious, but... I am not unaffected." Seven looked down at the table. "I believe that the crew is ignorant to the fact that I understand what they are saying. Though they do not intend to harm my feelings, which I am certain that they are unaware exist, they still engage in 'poking fun' at me. However, I do not find it 'fun.' "

"No, and you shouldn't." B'Elanna reached across the table and covered Seven's hand with her own. Then she tried to lighten the mood. "On the plus side, your verbosity is improving my vocabulary." Seven looked up, searching for signs of taunting, but she found only good intentions and she smiled a little.

"Indeed?"

"Oh, yeah. In fact, I've run back to a console more than once to look up a word or two that you used in our conversations." B'Elanna laughed and Seven smiled wider. "Look, the truth is, I've already eaten, too. I've got about two hours before I have anything else to do, you want to kill time in the holodeck if it's not in use?"

"May we play a game of hoverball? I enjoyed winning last time." B'Elanna laughed and shook her head.

"What makes you think you're going to win this game?" Seven raised her ocular implant as if there were no doubt. "Oh, you're on." B'Elanna said, grabbing Seven's hand and dragging her out of the Mess Hall.

_**To be continued…**_


	10. Who's that girl

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 8 Title is from "Who's that Girl?" by Madonna._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse…

* * *

**Home, Chapter 8  
**_Who's that girl..._

* * *

_2373..._

Kathryn walked with Jessica, B'Elanna, Tom and Harry on their way to Transporter Room One. The Dracco had met with them and now Janeway and crew were beaming over to be given a tour. As they rounded the corner, they stumbled upon Kes and Neelix, walking down the hall, laughing. The happy couple looked up and Kes smiled warmly while Neelix beamed with good humour.

"Hello, Captain," Kes greeted in her deep voice, smiling.

"Hello, Kes," Janeway answered. She was about to continue down the hall when Neelix interrupted.

"Well, who is this?" he asked, indicating Jessica.

"Jessica, this is Mr. Neelix, our guide to the Delta Quadrant and our ship's new chef. Neelix, this is a representative of the Shashan people," Janeway answered, thinking that perhaps Neelix might have heard of them. "Jessica Rozhen... ko." Kathryn watched in surprise as Neelix dropped to his knees, crossed his wrists and bowed deeply, pressing his arms against his forehead.

"Your majesty. Pardon me for not recognizing you immediately." Jessica looked embarrassed.

"It's okay. I _was_ incognito." Neelix looked up, his eyes wide and began stammering. "Calm down, Mr. Neelix. It's alright. I could only hide it for so long. I'd just hoped for five more minutes of obscurity." Neelix looked at her from what appeared to be an uncomfortable angle. Jessica glanced at Kes, who simply inclined her head.

"Your majesty," she acknowledged in respect. Harry started laughing. B'Elanna smirked. Jessica flinched.

"You may rise, Mr. Neelix. I trust that you're not here to kill me." Neelix stood gratefully.

"Majesty?" Captain Janeway asked. Jessica flinched again.

"Could everybody please quit calling me that? My name is Jessica. I was a lieutenant in Starfleet when I resigned. I'm a fourteen year-old part-human being." Jessica looked agitated.

"No offense, your ma— highness, b-but I thought, somehow, that you'd be taller," Neelix stuttered. Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, 'seven-feet tall and able to shoot fireballs from my eyes and lightning bolts from my arse,' " Jessica muttered, making B'Elanna laugh. Neelix looked puzzled.

"Well, not quite that tall. I figured that some of the stories got exaggerated."

"What kind of stories?" Kathryn asked, interested.

"Boring stories," Jessica said.

"Not at all!" Neelix protested. "Stories of heroism and courage about the child warrior-queen of Shasha!" Jessica groaned.

" 'Child warrior-queen,' huh?" B'Elanna asked slowly.

"I'm never going to hear the end of this," Jessica muttered.

"Oh, come on, Jess. Regale us with some stories of your exploits," Harry teased.

"You know—if we were on Shaola, I could kill you where you stand for teasing me." Harry just grinned wider in the face of Jessica's threat. Jessica tried to look fierce, but sagged when she realized that it wasn't working.

"Thank you, Mr. Neelix, it's been a pleasure meeting you and your lovely companion. Miss Kes," Jessica inclined her head and walked quickly away from the confused pair. She was halfway down the corridor when she stopped and looked behind her, gesturing that everyone should be following her. B'Elanna and Harry both had amused smiles on their faces, Tom looked as though he didn't know what to think and Janeway was... intrigued.

The group was quick to follow.

…

"Welcome to the Dracco, Captain Janeway. May you and your crew enjoy all that our ship has to offer."

"Like real food instead of replicated or vegetarian meals." Jessica chimed in as she stepped off the transporter platform.

"It's just a relief to see someone out here that has transporters, so we don't have to keep explaining what they are," Kathryn said, lightly. Luii chuckled.

"Yeah, this is the backwater area. Not a lot of technological advances. We do have replicators, too, but we only use them for water, really. Everything else, we grow and clone. We have a hydroponics bay, an arboretum, a garden and an animal range as well as a galley to prepare it all." Tarrel indicated that they should follow him.

"Doesn't that pose health problems?" Janeway asked.

"We're used to their presence, and we're already immune to any disease they might carry. Shaola's an agricultural planet, no high-tech cities, no pollution, nothing but land and animals," Luii said as the group followed him. "Don't get me wrong, everyone has a computer console in their home, we have the ability to control the weather to avoid natural disasters and we have replimats for the poor, so they do not go hungry. We just like to keep our air breathable and the rainfall clean."

"Lots of rain," Jessica added.

"It sounds like a paradise." B'Elanna said. Luii looked at her and stopped the group.

"Indeed it is. But paradise never comes easy and we've worked for it. Believe me, we had to reach our lowest point before it came about."

"Our planet was ravaged by fires and famine only five years ago, so badly that Shaola was almost unrecoverable." Jessica explained.

"Jessica is the reason we've worked it out. Our last Queen abused her power, raped the land... and the people. She cared nothing for anything but her own luxury and excess. Jessica came home to us in our darkest hour and removed her from power."

"Removed... how?" Kathryn asked. Jessica looked her in the eye.

"I always offer an alternative. But she made it obvious that there was no redemption for her. She was removed... permanently. Our people are much like Klingons, only with a dedication to peace." Janeway looked back to Tarrel, processing the information.

"Your ship will set down just outside the main city to be repaired. Our atmosphere makes transporting to and from the surface impossible, and your phased energy weapons will be useless. As a result, we will offer you arms for the time you are on the planet, if you feel the need. However, you will not be allowed to walk into government or scientific buildings with projectiles or swords, only personal weapons will be permitted such as daggers."

Janeway was nervous about this suddenly, not liking the idea that she wouldn't be able to call for a transport immediately or take phasers with her. But she realized that the Shashans were trying to make provisions toward making them more comfortable and she felt uncomfortable refusing. They needed the help repairing the ship, but having only just met these people, she was reluctant to put so much trust into them.

She looked up and saw Captain Tarrel looking at her and she suddenly remembered that the Shashan people were telepaths.

"I suppose you already know what my answer will be," Kathryn said, a little defensively. Luii looked surprised.

"I wouldn't presume to know your mind, Captain. I am waiting for your answer." This made Kathryn immediately regret assuming, but just to make certain she asked:

"You didn't just hear everything I was thinking?" This time, Luii looked insulted.

"That would be extremely rude, Captain, as well as a violation of the trust I am attempting to build between us. Also, you are a woman." His last sentence confused Janeway, though the rest left her embarrassed.

"I am sorry, Captain. Your Queen had previously impressed upon me that your society allowed for one to read another person's thoughts." Luii looked amused and Jessica blushed.

"Jessica is but a baby when it comes to psychic discipline. Her powers were repressed as a child and she is still learning. Blocking thought comes easier with age and usually, by the age of two, we are masters. But when you must learn later in life, then the abilities come slower. If you add the fact that she has the strongest mental powers among our people, it is no easy task blocking the thoughts of those who do not know how to shield them." Janeway looked apologetically at Jessica, who shrugged.

"Again, I apologize."

"Accepted," Luii said and bowed slightly. "You are learning about our culture, mistakes are bound to surface." Janeway smiled.

"I'm glad you understand that. Now, what did you mean earlier, about my being a woman?"

"I was saying that even if we had agreed that 'reading your mind' were appropriate behavior, it would not be appropriate for _me_ to do so, as you are a woman. Though our ranks are the same, I would still require further permission." Kathryn looked about to ask another question when Jessica spoke up.

"My people are still a little sexist, Captain. Luii is the first male captain in our starship fleet. Quite an accomplishment for him, it would be the equivalent of a woman on Earth in the Seventeenth or Eighteenth Century captaining a sailing vessel. Though men are allowed on our vessels and always have been, the idea of them raising in rank above a woman is... avant-garde."

"And also instigated by our newest Queen." Luii added, smiling. Jessica shrugged with a half-smile.

"It's about the biggest step I could institute as a first measure. Attitudes are changing, as they always do, especially amongst the young, and the male-rights movement on my planet has finally arisen. Though it has nowhere near as much to fight for as women did on Earth," Jessica added as an afterthought. Luii and Kathryn looked at each other, both acknowledging the prejudice that they had faced because of gender, though Kathryn felt worse for Luii, since his came from his own race.

"Then I wish you luck, Captain Tarrel, and congratulations."

"Well, now that that bit of cultural exposure is over, how about we plunge you in the rest of the way? I will part ways with you now, as I desperately want to eat and take a shower. Feel free to call on me when you're done with the tour and I'll give you a Q and A session." Jessica waved to the group, and then stepped out of existence. Kathryn's jaw dropped.

"Where did she go?" Tom asked. Luii looked after her.

"She's showing you one of the most advanced abilities of our people. She just stepped out of time/space. It allows a few of us to travel more quickly and over larger distances. In effect, she thought herself elsewhere. The journey never actually happens; it is as if space folds to allow passage."

"How far can this ability allow you to travel?" Janeway asked, immediately fascinated.

"Its distance is unmeasured. Theoretically infinite, one must know the exact distance on all planes between destinations. Also, one must know exactly where one is going, what it looks like, et cetera. Just like a transporter, only biological and unrestrained by distance. In theory."

"Can you do it?' B'Elanna asked. Luii blushed.

"I am one of the few males who has the talent, yes. In fact, as far as we know, of our seventeen billion Shashan cousins living in our space, approximately only twelve thousand, six hundred have this ability."

"That _is_ rare." Harry said.

"Yes. And half of them live on Shaola herself."

"Where is Shaola?" Kathryn asked, suddenly realizing that they might be going out of their way.

"Shasha Alpha Three, twenty-four light-years towards the 'Beta Quadrant' as you call it."

"So it should take how long to reach your planet? Five days?" Tom asked, mentally calculating.

"At warp 9.2, yes." Luii said. "But we operate well above your ship's maximum speed. It will only take three days, as we are traveling at warp 9.7, a reduced speed to compensate for the weak structural integrity of your ship." Then he looked alarmed. "Unless that is too fast for Voyager in her condition."

"Not at all," Kathyn said, quickly. "But what speed do you normally travel at?"

"Well, you do not have a measure for it. Our maximum speed is around four-hundred-thousand times the speed of light." Janeway's jaw dropped. That was a little more than twice the speed of the fastest Federation ship ever built. Voyager's maximum warp, 9.99 was only 7,912 times the speed of light, making her look like a snail in comparison to the Shashan ship. Especially considering she could only sustain 9.975, which was only around five-thousand times, for any length of time.

"Wow." B'Elanna said, giving Kathryn the distinct impression that she had been thinking along the same lines. Luii stood a little taller at that.

"No offense, captain, but how old are you?" Harry asked. Luii turned to him and smiled.

"You don't want to know. Shall we continue the tour?"

"Absolutely," B'Elanna said. "But now I'm curious, too. You don't look old enough to captain a starship."

"It's all I've ever wanted to do. I've been studying it since I was a boy. I'm still a boy by your standards, younger than you, Ensign," Luii said, turning to Harry. "I'm sixteen."

"Are all your captains so young?" Janeway asked.

"No. Jessica and I are the exceptions. Though you may think she is a captain because she is Queen, I assure you, that is not the case. She studied harder and more thoroughly than even I, and _I_ had to be the best to compete with the women. Only three other captains in the fleet are under twenty-five."

"Your ship is cooler than ours." Tom said suddenly, bringing up something that Kathryn had been noticing. "But the humidity seems higher." Luii nodded.

"Our planet, as Jessica pointed out, is very rainy. So much rain falls that we have sixteen different classifications for the stuff and three dozen different words. That is one of the reasons we do not have a nudity taboo, which you shall probably notice fairly soon. Spacefaring Shashans are required to wear clothing when interacting with other species, but on ship, not all adhere to the regulations. Some find clothing restraining or encumbering, others just prefer to be naked.

"And as for why it is cooler, that is because we can't tolerate high temperatures very well. But it is a bit cool, because it is cool on the main continent of Shaola and we like to keep our ships the same temperature as the homeworld, so we can be reminded of those we leave behind and to know what they are experiencing—at least in part." After his speech, Luii began the tour.

_**To be continued…**_


	11. Soul Machine

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 9 title is from "Mouth" by Bush._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse…

* * *

**Home, Chapter 9  
**_Soul Machine..._

* * *

_Present, 2379..._

"Ensign Kim?" Seven looked up from her breakfast to acknowledge the grinning Ensign.

"Hi, Seven. How are you?"

"I am... well. Yourself?" Seven replied, calling up her social lessons.

"I'm good. I have something I want to ask you." Harry was almost bouncing with excitement. Seven raised her ocular implant.

"Very well. You may ask."

"Well," Harry said, sitting down opposite her. "Lately, we've been spending more time together, getting to know each other. And I like you, Seven, I enjoy your company."

"As I do yours," Seven said, smiling slightly. No one had ever specifically told her that they enjoyed her company and she was surprised at how positive it made her feel. Harry looked as if his smile was beginning to hurt: it became so wide. It fascinated Seven, since smiling was something she was still not used to doing.

"Then may I ask you out? On a date, that is. Not to copulate, but just a regular date?" Seven was startled. She had been so worried that B'Elanna would resume dating that she had never considered the possibility that she might be the one asked. Truthfully, since her romantic disaster the last time she had attempted to 'date' she had not even considered pursuing a romantic affiliation. She was still slightly embarrassed. But now Ensign Kim, whom she had believed to have given up his infatuation, was requesting that she date him.

"May I have time to… 'think it over?' I am not fully prepared to give you an answer at this time."

"Of course," Harry said, his smile never faltering. "Take all the time you need, then let me know." He reached over and squeezed her hand, then departed the Mess Hall. Seven finished her nutritional supplement, then proceeded to seek out Lt. Torres for advice... and permission.

…

"Harry asked you out?" B'Elanna slipped on her uniform jacket and looked at herself in the mirror. She had accidentally overslept and if Seven hadn't shown up, then she would have been late for her duty shift.

"Yes."

"I thought that crush was long past," B'Elanna said, running a brush through her hair. Seven watched B'Elanna's morning routine, finding that she enjoyed this activity.

"As did I. I was seeking your advice on the matter."

"My advice?" B'Elanna glared at the one strand of hair that refused to lay flat, attacking it with her brush until it behaved.

"Yes."

"Well..." B'Elanna stopped to think for a moment. Something bothered her about Seven dating Harry. No, that wasn't it. Something bothered her about Seven _dating_. Period. She glanced at Seven in the mirror and wondered what she was thinking. Technically, there was nothing wrong with Seven dating Harry, after all, she wasn't attracted to Harry like that, but still, she was... bothered.

"Are you all right, B'Elanna?" B'Elanna shook herself a little to clear her mind.

"Yeah, just thinking." '_Who am I to stand in the way of Seven's happiness?_' B'Elanna tried to think of any reasons that Seven shouldn't date Harry, specifically, but what she came up with wasn't convincing, so she dismissed it. "I think you should go for it," B'Elanna managed to say, disguising the fact that she was avoiding Seven's eyes by straightening her jacket again.

"Indeed? Then you think it is a good match?" Seven looked at B'Elanna, secretly wanting her to say 'no, you're mine,' but willing to accept that the half-Klingon didn't share her feelings.

"Yeah, Harry's a great guy. I think you two would make a cute couple." B'Elanna felt like she was choking as she said the words, but wanted Seven to be happy, not restrained by feelings that B'Elanna wasn't sure she, herself, understood. She turned and looked Seven in the eyes. Seven detected elevated levels of pheromone production, increased heart rate and dilated pupils when she looked at B'Elanna, but didn't know what they meant. Perhaps she was attracted to Harry?

"You are not romantically interested in Ensign Kim, are you? If so, I shall not—"

"No! Harry?" B'Elanna laughed. "No, Harry and I are just friends, we've never been interested in each other like that, don't worry." Seven nodded, accepting B'Elanna's words.

"Thank you for your advice. Have a pleasant day." Seven said, smiled and left. B'Elanna watched her leave, her gaze snaking down to Seven's backside, making her realize that she had just made a huge mistake.

…

"The doctor has suggested that I take lessons in piano, but I have not truly developed an interest." Seven brought the Chablis to her lips, tasting it with her tongue before allowing it to pass into her mouth. Ensign Kim had assured her that it was non-alcoholic, though she couldn't tell by the taste. She liked the dry flavor, but was reluctant to drink much.

"Are you interested in any instruments? Personally, I never liked pianos or keyboards that much. To play, that is. My interest was always in woodwinds and brass."

"I find many brass instruments to be... unpleasant and loud." Harry laughed and Seven smiled a little.

"They can be, but in the right hands, they can also be melodic and beautiful."

"I believe that is true of many things," Seven observed. Harry nodded enthusiastically.

"You know, Seven? _You_ are a great person." Seven felt an odd sensation as her cheeks were infused with blood and the corners of her mouth turned up involuntarily. Harry smiled. "And you're cute when you blush." Seven raised her eyebrow.

"What instrument would you recommend I try?"

"Well, I can teach you the clarinet, but I personally think you'd look great playing the cello." Seven's implant rose higher.

"What does my appearance with the instrument have to do with its sound or my performance?"

"It's not always just playing the instrument, sometimes, it's looking good doing it. Truthfully, you could make a tuba look sexy, I just think that a cello would show off your legs and hands wonderfully."

"My hands are large."

"No, they're not!" Harry captured one of the hands. "They're beautiful, just like the rest of you." The move to hold her hand had brought Harry much closer to Seven. She looked into his eyes and set her drink on the table. Slowly, she leaned forward, brushing her lips against his. This sensation was new, as the blush had been. She tasted the sweetness of his lips, startled at the texture against her own. He didn't press anything, but gave her time to decide what she wanted to do next. She broke away slowly.

Harry looked at her, watching her expression to see how she felt about it. Unsure, she decided to try again, this time allowing her tongue to play a part of the dance. She found she did not dislike the experience and pushed to continue. Harry lost himself in the kiss, feeling the happiest he had in a long time.

…

"...dating Harry Kim?"

"Poor Harry, does he know what he's getting into?" Seven tried to shut out the voices, schooling her face to avoid revealing the fact that she could hear the two crewmembers' conversation as clearly as if they were sitting at her table.

"What if he cuts himself on one of her implants? I mean, who knows where the Borg stick those things." Seven realized suddenly that she had crushed her eating utensil into a ball of metal. She set it on the plate in front of her and glared at her remaining food.

"She's attractive enough on the outside. But other than that? She doesn't have a personality. Hell, I've never even seen her smile."

"Can she even feel it, do you think?" Seven stood and walked out of the Mess Hall, having lost her appetite all together.

…

B'Elanna rubbed Seven's back, trying to comfort her. She wanted to beat the hell out of the ensign who had made the implant comment, after Seven recited their entire conversation verbatim.

"I don't know how _anyone_ thinks that's acceptable behavior, Seven, because it's not. Their comments were not only in bad taste, but for them to have that conversation when you were within earshot—"

"They were not aware that I could hear them. They believed that they were sufficiently distanced from my table."

"That doesn't make it right!" Seven was sitting, her back ramrod straight, on B'Elanna's couch. B'Elanna had seen Seven stalking out of the Mess Hall and lured her back to her quarters to talk, seeing that she was in distress. "You should go to the captain with this." Seven shook her head.

"That would only serve to heighten the crew's animosity towards me." Seven said, softly, betraying the emotions inside of her. B'Elanna's fury rose exponentially.

"Fuck them. They don't deserve to breathe the same air as you." Seven raised her eyebrow.

"I believe that you are overreacting, once again. That statement was highly illogical."

"Yeah well, haven't you learned by now that I'm not a fan of logic?"

"Indeed." Seven relaxed for a moment, allowing herself to lean against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. "Do you believe that the crew shall ever relinquish their hateful opinions of me?"

"I wish I could tell you, Seven." B'Elanna curled up on the other end of the couch, hugging her knee to her chest.

"Perhaps if I reverted to my human name? Become Annika Hansen?"

"Do you feel like Annika Hansen?" B'Elanna rested her chin on her knee.

"No. I am more comfortable with my current designation."

"Good. It wouldn't help, anyway. My mother called me Lanna as a kid, and so did one of my teachers, trying to help me fit in better, but the other kids still treated me differently, even if the name sounded human. They just didn't see me as human, no matter how hard I tried to fit in. Eventually, I stopped trying." Seven took B'Elanna's hand and gently applied pressure, for reassurance.

"I am sorry that have been ostracized." B'Elanna shrugged with one shoulder.

"Right back at you." Seven smiled, forgetting for a moment, the events that had transpired to bring her to Lt. Torres' quarters and just enjoyed being there with her friend.

…

"Slow down, Seven. One step at a time. I don't want to rush this." Seven sighed in frustration.

"I do not share your feelings in this. I wish to proceed to the next level. Now."

"We've only been dating a week. You still forget to call me Harry! Also, I believe that you're drunk."

"My sobriety has nothing to do with the sexual frustration I have been developing." Seven reached for Harry and he darted back, causing her to fall off the couch.

"Seven! Are you okay?" He quickly helped her sit up and she took advantage of the situation, tugging at his shirt. He fought her off and took her hands in his, trying to prevent their further exploration.

"Do you not find me attractive?"

"Of course I do!" He pressed her hands together and kissed them, letting out a silent 'thank you' that her ethics were still intact enough to prevent her from using her Borg strength. "But I am not going to have sex with you when you're drunk. How the hell did you get synthehol anyhow? I ordered yours without any."

"Apparently, the replicator is mal-mal—isn't working." Seven freed one of her hands and reached behind her to undo the catch on her biosuit, but Harry caught the errant hand before its mission was complete. "I wish to copulate!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not in the mood." Harry said, chasing her left hand as it snaked its way toward his trousers. Seven stopped and looked him in the eyes.

"Are you afraid of me?"

"What?" Harry asked, incredulously.

"Are you afraid of injuring yourself on one of my implants? I do not have any there, the abdominal implant is entirely internal and above my cervix, which I still have, though I do not have a uterus—"

"Seven! What the hell are you talking about? Of course I'm not worried about anything like that!"

"Then do you not wish to copulate with me because you find it fruitless? Because I-I..." Seven's body shook and a tear ran from her organic eye. Harry pulled her into his lap as best he could and began stroking her hair.

"Seven, I don't know where this is coming from, but the only reason I don't want to have sex with you is because I respect you and I care about you. If you were to have your first sexual experience while you were inebriated, then it would be the fault of the person who took advantage of you. I won't be that person."

"You care about me?" Seven looked into his eyes, vulnerability plain on her face.

"Yeah, I do." Harry said, still caressing her hair. "Now why did you think... those things?"

"I overheard some members of the crew talking about us."

"Who?" Harry asked, getting angry. Seven hiccuped.

"I do not wish for them to know I was listening."

"Why?"

"Then their remarks may be redirected to my face, rather than behind my back."

"They shouldn't be making those kinds of comments at all." Harry fumed for a moment. "So who were they Seven?" There was a moment of silence. "Seven?" Harry looked down at Seven, who was asleep. He managed somehow to get her to his bed, then he grabbed a pillow and began making his couch comfortable, finally settling down for the night.

_**To be continued…**_


	12. My angel, my reluctant whore

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 10 title is from "Dawn" by Stabbing Westward._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

* * *

**Home, Chapter 10  
**_My angel, my reluctant whore..._

* * *

_Past, 2373..._

Captain Janeway wandered the halls of the ship, looking for Jessica. She had a few requests to make and knew that if anyone could fulfill those requests, it was the Queen. She shook her head, still surprised that that little girl was ruler of— Kathryn stopped. 'Ruler of what?' She realized that she had no idea how expansive Jessica's territory was. Was she queen of a planet, a series of planets, an entire sector? Answers having been promised, Kathryn once again stopped and asked the Dracco where Jessica was, as she found herself lost. Again.

"Dracco, location of Queen Rozhenko?"

"Deck four, section sixteen." There was a beeping noise and Janeway cocked her head to the side, wondering what it was. She didn't have long to wait. "Do you require further instruction, Captain Janeway? You have requested that information eight times now." Kathryn jumped.

"Am I speaking to a computer or a person?"

"This is the Dracco. You are speaking to a computer."

"Pretty smart for a computer," Janeway mumbled.

"Thank you. I repeat: do you require further instruction on reaching your destination?"

"If you would be so kind..." Kathryn said, smiling at the politeness of the Shashan computer.

"If you follow the corridor in the opposite direction you are currently facing, then turn left three times, followed by a right, it is the fourth door on your right."

"Thank you."

"You are welcome, Captain Janeway."

"How do you know who I am?"

"Your biosignature is monitored as a normal function of this computer."

"Oh." Kathryn said, and then followed the Dracco's directions, rather than trying to decipher the signs that she had been following previously. In what was obviously the wrong direction. She found the door that the computer had specified and tried to make out the writing on it. She recognized a couple of numbers that she had learned to identify, but nothing else made sense. There was no helpful picture to indicate what was beyond the door, unless three diagonal slashes counted. In Janeway's opinion, the sign was unhelpful.

She stepped through the door and immediately wished that the sign had been more obvious. The heat wave hit her first, followed by a cloud of steam, then she was able to make out a single, nude body in the mist. Jessica turned from her shower and Kathryn started to apologize.

"It's fine. The showers are public, Captain. I don't expect privacy. Although, this crew seems to give me it in abundance." Kathryn felt as if she were choking in the heat and suddenly remembered that Luui had said Shashans preferred colder temperatures, as Jessica walked forward, her entire body burned red.

"I thought your people didn't like the heat?" Kathryn said and Jessica's gaze became distant.

"I'm just trying to get clean." Jessica walked past Janeway, who felt a pang of worry about the girl, recalling everything that she had seen of her. The scars were patches of white against the rosy skin, drawing Kathryn's eyes, which she was trying desperately to fix on the girl's head. But her eyes noticed a scar she just couldn't ignore. It wasn't thick, or horrendous in any way beyond its location. Jessica caught Kathryn's eye and her naked belly jerked in a harsh laugh, bringing Janeway's eyes up.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but it just doesn't seem enough."

"That happened when I was eight. I was wasted in the streets of New York, cold, hungry. Trying to hide who I was, what I was. I was a girl, all alone, trying to be a boy to save my life."

"New York?"

"Maybe it was St. Louis. The alleys all looked the same and I'm not sure when or how I got from one to the other." Jessica was toweling off as she spoke, her eyes vacant.

"On Earth?"

"Not your Earth. It's a long story and I only have time right now for one. Matters of State call me away. Anyway, I think I was fucked up on heroin… it might have been crack. I was fried, either way. The gang I hung out with—I lived with—were horsing around, comparing scars and stories. It came my turn—or rather, Jesse's turn. It was close enough to my name that I answered to it.

"I didn't have any scars really. Just the chest one. That was about to change, though I didn't know it. I wasn't about to show them my chest, since I already had to wrap it up and wear loose shirts. So I showed them a few cat scratches and they got to joking around, said maybe I had one somewhere else. I got into a fight with one of them and he ripped my shirt during it, ACE bandage and all.

"Well, Jesse wasn't supposed to have a pair and there was no doubt that I wasn't Jesse at that moment. These guys were complete fuckers, but they usually didn't do rape, that's why I hung out with them. They decided that I'd be the exception. That scar was a sick fetish one of the younger ones had, courtesy of my own knife." Jessica's eyes were dark, but glassy as she finished up. They stood there for a minute, neither saying anything, Janeway completely horrified.

"But I've seen you fight..." Jessica looked at Janeway.

"Things were different back then. I was no different from a human child, just as weak. Just as helpless." Silence followed again and Jessica just clutched the towel, having forgotten about it. Finally, Janeway thought of a question.

"_When_ did you grow up?" Janeway asked and Jessica looked at her like she'd finally said something interesting.

"Nineteen-eighty to nineteen-eighty-nine, Earth. No home, no family, no prayer—all my fault."

"Nothing like that can be anyone's fault." Kathryn said, angrily.

"If I'd stayed with my adoptive family, I would have had a mother, father, sister and little brother. But 'Daddy' remarried a bitch and I'd chosen to live with him, because of my foster sister, Janet. Janet became my zhanal, when Tasha died, to save me. I was five when the change hit me through the time difference. It took four years and I almost went insane. Janet was Patrick's daughter and so she stayed with him.

"My real sisters went with April, lived an easy life. Patrick married this bitch named Judith. She hated me, because I wasn't a dress and dolls little girl. Patrick also kept Mikey, the son he and April had together. Judith loved Janet, who was into dolls and makeup and got along great with our new big sister, Andria. I didn't. Daddy loved me, I was his princess, his son and his friend. But all that can change so easily, trust is such a fragile thing." Jessica looked away, tears rolling down her face. "I just couldn't play the game and Judith hated me for it and was jealous of the time Patrick spent with me."

Jessica pulled on her clothes, quickly. She stepped out into the hall and Kathryn followed. They walked in silence to a lift, where Jessica only spoke to give it a destination. Janeway didn't know what to say. She felt angry, concerned and sympathetic. She also understood why Jessica didn't feel clean.

"What happened?" She finally prompted.

"Hmm?" Jessica asked, her head shooting up. "Judith won." The lift came to a stop and Jessica led the way to an important looking room. The young Shashan walked to a console and picked up a data crystal. She inserted it into the console and began scanning through information. Janeway didn't want to pry any more, but her curiosity was about to burst. Forcing it down, she opened her mouth to begin her request when Jessica pulled out the data crystal and handed it to her.

"What's this?" Janeway asked, looking down.

"Shashan laws, regulations and disciplinary codes as well as governmental structure. You were going to ask for those, correct?"

"Yes, how did you—" Kathryn stopped herself, thinking, '_of course_.'

"I was in Starfleet, remember? I know the procedures on visiting a foreign culture for the first time. Our cultural database is free for you to download, if you instruct whomever you like on your ship to extract the information. Belief systems, code of honor and literature, of course. Also musical history, government history, racial history, all the history any anthropologist could desire is yours to peruse."

"Is there anything I can offer you in return?" Janeway asked, ever the diplomat.

"Your friendship. Your word that you won't attempt to assassinate me or mine and your assurances that you and your people will abide by our laws and regulations, lest they be punished by our legal system." Kathryn looked dubious about the last part. "Don't worry, capital punishment is a choice only to murders and rapists. And it is the criminal's choice. Misdemeanors are punishable by fines, community services and jail. So unless one of your crewmembers kills or rapes someone, and we're telepaths, so there's almost never a mistake in the justice department, then the worst that they will be forced to do is sit in a jail cell for the time that they are on this planet. No longer."

"Well, I think that I can give you my word, then. I'll make sure that everyone is made aware of this. But you must understand that if I find that you have deceived me in any way, or your disciplinary actions aren't as you say..."

"Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all a million times before. I've been threatened with war, blight, death and most interestingly, carnivorous, tribble-like creatures." Jessica seemed to think about that last one for a moment, then she shook it of with a laugh as she walked to sit in front of a computer screen. "Anything else?"

"No, I think you covered it," Janeway said, smiling.

"Then, not to be rude, but I have about four-hundred worlds to look after."

"Four _hundred_?" Kathryn exclaimed. "The Federation is only comprised of one-hundred and fifty!" Jessica looked up.

"I know. Sometimes I wish I was the Federation President instead of Queen of the Shashan Empire. Doesn't 'Empire' sound like the wrong term for a government headed by a queen and her Council?" Kathryn's jaw didn't seem to want to close. Jessica grinned. "I only actually own two-hundred and thirteen of those worlds. The other..." Jessica calculated. "hundred eighty-some are actually run by their own governments, they're just a part of the Empire, for protection and trade. We're not quite as picky as the Federation, but we do demand that citizens be given certain basic inalienable rights. Any planet caught violating that agreement is cut out of the Empire and sometimes annexed to protect the people."

"Annexed?"

"Not like an Occupation, but rather in the traditional sense. We drive away the corrupt government and help the people form a working, healthy government. We're often in the role of 'Robin Hood.' If we're given a request for help, we don't ignore it just because their government says no. If a planet petitions us to join, it's my job to decide whether to say yea or nay. It doesn't happen that often, really and I use my Council to help decide such matters. Anyway, that's all in that little crystal I gave you. Please?"

"Of course. Good day... your Highness," Kathryn said as she left. She heard something hit the doors as they closed behind her and she chuckled.

* * *

_Present..._

Seven awoke in Ensign Kim's quarters, confused and nursing a hangover. Her head pounded and her stomach lurched in pain. She sat up and looked around.

"Harry?" She asked, loudly. Within seconds, a bleary-eyed Kim walked into the room, rubbing the sleep out of his face.

"Morning, Seven. How do you feel?"

"I feel ill. What happened last night?" Harry sat on the bed next to Seven and yawned.

"You got drunk and passed out." He answered, trying to smooth his hair as he realized that he probably looked like hell. Seven didn't look much better, her hair sticking out wildly, her eyes puffy and her lips dry. Harry didn't notice, though and only saw her as the kind of person who woke up as perfect as she spent the day.

"Did we copulate?"

"No, I wouldn't take advantage of you like that," Harry answered.

"But I recall that I asked you to do so."

"And I said no. I don't think that we're ready to have sex yet."

"But this is an experience I wish to have." Seven said, surprising Harry a little. He had thought that Seven only wanted to have sex because she was drunk. He started to get a little angry.

"I won't be used as an experiment, Seven." A look of concern passed mildly over her face as she read the hurt in his voice.

"This is not an experiment, Harry. I simply desire to release the tension that has been building within me. I was under the impression that two individuals became a couple with this purpose intended."

"It's more than that, Seven. Even sex should be more than that."

"You are referring to love?"

"Yeah. I mean, a lot of people just have sex, but that's not a real relationship. Not if there's no feeling involved. And I know that you don't love me, no matter how much I care about you."

"How can you know that I do not love you?"

"Your eyes. You once referred to love as a disease, and I don't know if you still feel that way about it—"

"I do not. I feel that it is a condition for which there is no cure."

"But still—just by saying 'cure,' you're making it into a problem, not something to cherish, which it is."

"But it can be a problem," Seven said, a little confused.

"When?"

"When it is not reciprocated. Or if two or more people love the same individual." Harry couldn't argue and he didn't know what to say. "I believe that it may feel wonderful, but it can also be devastating and debilitating. Your own experience with Tal, for example."

"One of many," Harry agreed. "But that doesn't mean that you should hide from it. Believe me, the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages."

"I believe you," Seven said, recalling how happy she was when B'Elanna was with her.

"What is it, Seven?" Harry asked, noticing the slight smile that came to her lips.

"What?"

"Have you... ever... been in love?" Harry asked, unsure that he wanted the answer.

"I..." Seven looked down as she trailed off, giving Harry his answer.

"You're still in love," Harry laid back on the bed. He brought his hands to his face and rubbed, as if trying to push away his bad luck in love. Seven sat quietly, her hands in her lap, looking at nothing. Harry set his hands on his stomach and stared at the ceiling, cursing the day he decided to join Starfleet.

"Do you wish to end our relationship?" Seven asked quietly. Harry opened his mouth to say yes.

"No." Harry wondered what the hell he was doing. Seven turned her beautiful blue eyes on him, turning her head to the side slightly in curiosity and he sat up, meeting her lips with his. He felt her breath catch. She kissed him back, pressing him down to the bed. He pushed her away a little. "Just promise me something."

"What?' she asked, only slightly suspicious.

"That you'll never lie to me." Seven brushed his hair away from his forehead, enjoying the soft texture of the short style. She looked into his dark eyes, hurt and pleading. She pressed her lips to his again.

"I promise." He ran his fingers through her long, silken hair and just had one more request.

"Promise me something else."

"Yes?"

"Don't call out their name."

_**To be continued…**_


	13. Tell me more

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this Chapter 11 title is from the musical/Motion Picture "Grease."_

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

* * *

**Home, Chapter 11  
**_Tell me more..._

* * *

_Past... _

"Tell me how well you know Jessica." Janeway said to B'Elanna as they sat down to eat in the Dracco's cafeteria-style Mess Hall. B'Elanna looked up from the sandwich she had just taken a huge bite from and chewed quickly, trying to free her mouth before answering her captain. She swallowed, still managing to savor the real food in her hurried mastication.

"I know what Chakotay says, but I assure you that you can trust her." B'Elanna attacked her sandwich again, delighted to have something that had a real flavor to it. Tom Paris and Harry sat down with the two women, Harry next to B'Elanna, Tom sitting across the table, between Janeway and Harry.

"Of course you can trust Jessica, Captain." Harry said, sprinkling salt over the green concoction on his plate. Tom eyed Harry's plate warily while cutting up the course he had chosen, involving some kind of fowl.

"How can you eat that?" Tom asked and Harry ignored him, taking a bite. He chewed it slowly for effect and smiled at Tom, letting him know that it was enjoyable. Tom made a face. Janeway nearly laughed, missing the easy jokes that she had shared with fellow crewmates when she was lower in rank and just enjoyed the company for once. When they returned to Voyager, she would have to return to eating alone.

"That's not what I meant," Janeway said. "I mean... what is her story?"

"Ask her," Harry and B'Elanna said in unison.

"I did, but she was too busy. She just gave me enough answers to fuel even more questions." Harry smiled.

"That's Jess for you. She doesn't really like talking about herself, but she'll do it if she wants something."

"Like what?" Janeway asked, immediately suspicious.

"Friendship," B'Elanna answered between sips of her thick drink. "Or information. Sometimes she just likes to get a reaction out of people. To shock people when she's bored or trying to shake things up." Kathryn felt herself relax.

"So, what is her story? How did she get to Earth? Much less the twentieth century?" Harry looked from Janeway to B'Elanna.

"If you're going to tell her, please warn me so I can eat elsewhere."

"What's wrong, Starfleet? Weak stomach?" B'Elanna challenged. Harry shook his head.

"Weak heart." With that, he stood and carried his meal to an unoccupied table. Tom watched Harry leave and looked trapped. He started to follow Kim, then looked back at B'Elanna, obviously wanting to hear the story. Finally, his sense of friendship won and he took his tray to Harry's table, letting his curiosity suffer.

"It's a long story, Captain. Are you sure you want to hear it?" B'Elanna asked, chewing up the last of her sandwich. Kathryn nodded.

"Please." B'Elanna took a drink and indicated that Janeway should give her a moment to finish her meal. Kathryn looked at her food, barely touched and began eating herself. When B'Elanna finished the big meal she had collected, she looked at Janeway and took a deep breath.

"Jessica already told you that she was born at the end of a war. Well, Jessica was born to be Queen, in her mother's place. She was raised in the first week of her life with countless languages being shoved into her head, policies, laws, behaviors... All jammed into her brain by telepathic teachers. She was determined to be the best Queen she could, the best the Shashan Empire had ever seen.

"Nothing ever works out the way we want as kids. Her cousin, Morina, was a member of a House that was a direct offshoot of Jessica's. You see, like Klingons, families are divided into Houses, with varying degrees of power. The difference is that Shashans have varying degrees of mental power, and this is how their Houses are divided. There are Five Houses with the most power in Shasha, which is the name for the cluster in which Shashans reside. Seven stars, fifty-seven planets, only about nineteen of them inhabited.

"Anyway, Jessica is a member of the First House and the Second. Before she was born, the five main houses had never intermarried, never bred together, for fear of the power it might create. But Elizabeth, Jessica's mother, was married to JonnAyt'n Wrou, the first son of the Second House.

"Morina was a member of a 'bastard House' as hers is called. It's a House that once belonged to power, but married Houses so low in the power structure, that their power dwindled and their identity as a member of the House was lost. Shashans can be linked to their House through the color of their scales." B'Elanna finished off her drink and continued.

"Jessica's are white, with a rainbow sheen. Only the Five Houses have that sheen, which is what identifies them as the most powerful. One of their belief systems maintains that the sheen is due to the fact that as their powers grow, they are beginning to lose their corporeal nature.

"JonnAyt'n's color was blue. Each House is also identified by an animal. Morina's was a broken unicorn, because she was descended from the First House, whose animal is the Unicorn. The Second is the Dragon, the third is red and represented by the Phoenix, the Fourth is yellow and the Lion and the Fifth House is black as pitch, identified as the Winged Horse."

"This is a very interesting cultural lesson, but how is this Jessica' story?" Janeway interrupted. B'Elanna shrugged.

"Just thought it would make some more sense if I threw that in."

"All right. But I'm curious about Morina," Kathryn prodded. B'Elanna nodded.

"Morina was jealous of Elizabeth. You see, if Elizabeth hadn't returned to Shaola when she was younger, Morina's mother would have been given the throne. Then Morina would have taken over when her mother died. She was fifteen when Elizabeth got pregnant. Morina had been waiting for Elizabeth to die, because she wasn't supposed to be able to bear children and when she died, Morina would become queen.

"When Elizabeth became pregnant, seemingly by a miracle, Morina started plotting against her life. She was going to use the war as a cover for her assassination. But the Enterprise-D showed up on the day that she was going to kill her, ruining her plans, since Elizabeth wasn't alone from that moment on. Dr. Crusher delivered Jessica and her sisters that day—"

"You mean they're triplets?" B'Elanna shook her head and smiled.

"Sextuplets. Identical in everything but power and personality. Jessica holds the most power by more than twice as much as any of her sisters. Multiple births aren't uncommon amongst the Shashans, though identical siblings are. Morina knew that there was no way she could subtly kill all seven of them, so she decided that killing Elizabeth and Jessica would be enough, since Jessica was the only one that couldn't be manipulated.

"Jessica was too much like her real father, never taking anything at face value, always looking for the truth, exploring and fighting. That's how she knew that JonnAyt'n wasn't her real father." There was a collective gasp and B'Elanna looked around. Every Shashan in the room was gathered around the small table, listening to the story. "Shit," B'Elanna said.

"I take it that was a secret?" Janeway asked. B'Elanna nodded and glared around her.

"And as Jessica's zhanal, I've already informed her of who is present right now. So if any of what I just said leaves this room..." Every head bobbed up and down, promising to keep the secret. B'Elanna sighed.

"So who is her real father?" Janeway asked.

"He was a Starfleet officer. Presumed dead seventy-eight years ago. That's not quite the truth, apparently, but I'm not sure what exactly _is_."

"Does he have a name?" Kathryn asked, wondering if she had heard of him.

"I... don't want to say. He was Elizabeth's first husband, on Earth. Jessica has his hair color and devil-may-care attitude. That's all I'm going to tell you. As I was saying, Morina planned to kill Jessica and Elizabeth. So she struck a deal with the Vorchen." Kathryn knew that that was a bad thing without being told.

"You mean with Kanir?" B'Elanna nodded.

"Although Jessica didn't know who was in charge until that battle earlier. They killed her mother and tried to kill her. One of them, a humanoid named Jaytor, stuck a dagger through her chest. Jessica said that she laughed, because it didn't seem real. Because she knew somehow that she wasn't going to die. And she didn't. Her mother did.

"Jessica watched her die while the Vorchen ran off, believing that they had killed her. Morina found her, howling over her dead mother's body and picked up on her thoughts, using them against her. Jessica believed that she had failed her mother; let her die. Morina just used that to drive her away. Jessica ran away, to her sisters and convinced them to leave Shasha with her. To go to the Enterprise.

"So they attempted to space-shift, as they call it, for the first time. The problem was that the wormhole that had brought the Enterprise to Shaola was beginning to collapse, causing fluctuations in time/space. Since space-shifting means that they are traveling through that continuum, their path was altered and they were separated. Three went to Earth, three went to a planet called Ebtor, a place not unlike Turkana IV, same time period."

Kathryn shuddered at the name Turkana IV. A failed Federation colony from early in the century, run by gangs of murderers and rapists. She had done a report on that planet in her sociology class at the Academy. They had lost contact with Turkana IV in 2352, knowing only that the inhabitants had gone underground. She couldn't imagine growing up on such a planet.

"Jessica was one of the three to go to Earth."

"What were her sisters names?" Kathryn asked. B'Elanna laughed.

"Elizabeth had only one name picked out when she discovered she was pregnant. She liked names that started with a 'J' and wanted to see how similarly she could name them."

"You're kidding. Six kids, all named alike?"

"Jessica, Jessamyn, Jennifer, Jessie, Jennah and Jennette." Kathryn shook her head.

"I never understood why parents do that." B'Elanna shrugged.

"Anyway, Jessica, Jennifer and Jennah all went to Earth. Jessamyn, the second most powerful of the sisters, and the other two went to Ebtor. The trip erased their memories of everything but their names. Jessica unconsciously planted them in the mind of the woman who found her and her sisters. It was the last time she had access to her telepathic abilities, since she chose to repress them, to fit into the society better.

"She lost everything about her that was Shashan, became completely human. Until she was five. Then her first zhanal, Tasha Yarr's death hit her, distorted through time/space. Jessica almost went insane, but instead, her latent abilities resurfaced just enough to allow her to join minds with Janet, who kept her secret both from love of a sister and because, if it weren't for Jessica, she would have been a human vegetable.

"She had a neurological disorder that caused both mental retardation and a slow breakdown of her organs. She wasn't supposed to live to see her twelfth birthday. Jessica didn't save her life, but she saved her mind, forcing her to learn, to push herself until she seemed as normal as any other child.

"Other than that, Jessica grew up fine. She tested out of primary school and secondary school by the time she was seven. She went to a secondary school for students twelve to eighteen, or seventh through twelfth grade. That's where she met a boy that her adoptive father didn't approve of. He was five years older than she—twelve to her seven.

"Shashan children come into their sexuality between the ages of ten and thirteen. But before their first sajala, they experience a less severe form of it. If Jessica had been on Shaola, she would have been supervised during this time, which would have also been anticipated.

"The boy's name was Johnny. Pretty common, which is what Jessica's adoptive father thought of the boy himself. He came from a poor family that had lived in downtown Kansas City before moving to St. Louis, which was where they were living. Jessica and the boy had sex. Her father found out and disowned her. He was planning to send her packing to April, the woman who originally found and adopted her.

"Johnny hung out in a gang a lot, so he spent quite a bit of time on the streets, as did Jessica. The night that she came to tell him what her father had said, that he told her she either left Johnny and moved to live with April, or she could live on the streets, they were walking in a bad part of town. She just told him that she couldn't see him anymore, didn't explain why.

"He ran off. She chased him to an old bridge, which collapsed underneath him. She managed to grab his hand at the last second, but she wasn't strong enough to hold him up. What made matters worse, was that there was a train passing underneath them. Jessica told me that she watched the train going by, thinking that if she could hold him up until it passed, he could survive the fall. She couldn't hold him up long enough and he hit the last car of the train.

"She ran down to see if he was still alive and he was. But he had been crushed beyond repair by the train and he died in her arms. She never went home. She stayed on the streets, trying to erase the memories of what had happened to her. She used drugs and joined a gang that promised more drugs and protection. But only for boys, so she became a boy.

"Using the drugs, she began remembering who she was, where she came from and she became obsessed with trying to use her powers once again. But she didn't know how. Sometimes, after she dropped acid, she would be able to change her form, but she was never sure if it was her or the drugs. She began accumulating blank spots in her memory, waking up in places she had never been before. At some point, she made it to New York, but nothing was better there.

"Her gang found out at some point that she was a girl and—"

"I know what happened there," Janeway said, not wanting to hear it again. B'Elanna nodded her understanding.

"Well, once she was in New York, she had to support her drug habit. So, since she was already breaking the law, she decided to break it some more. There were... ways to earn money. People with... sick tastes—"

"Please tell me that you're not talking about what I think you are."

"Some men prefer young—"

"I asked you not to tell me." B'Elanna smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"One night, she visited her adoptive mother and found out that Patrick, her father, had died. Well, actually, her sisters found her, almost dead in the streets and dragged her back to April's apartment. Jessica had been in hospitals repeatedly, she was malnourished, had been beaten, stabbed, raped, shot, and all but murdered. Not an inch of her wasn't bruised. April told her about Patrick and Jessica went back to the streets, depressed that she hadn't had a chance to apologize.

"Eventually, she went back to St. Louis, where she bumped into her baby brother, Mikey. She was on drugs, beaten badly from a rough client and he just looked at her. He didn't say anything; he just started crying. He had always looked up to her, been cared for by her and she loved him like he was her real brother.

"She never touched drugs after that night. She cleaned herself up, began trying to recreate the accident that had brought her to Earth. When she was nine, she enlisted her sisters' help, reminding them of themselves. Their first attempt failed. They kept trying until one day they succeeded in leaving Earth. They didn't know that Jessamyn had been trying a similar experiment on Ebtor.

"Jessica, her sisters and Janet, who was hoping for a cure in the twenty-fourth century, appeared on Ebtor. They were captured by the local authority and separated again. Janet was the only one who didn't end up back on the streets, but was adopted by a semi-normal family. The seven girls reunited once again and tried to space-shift, remembering the wormhole that had originally brought them to the Alpha Quadrant.

"They found a wormhole and a nearby space station. Called Terok Nor. It was 2368. Jessica was the only member of the group to materialize on the station. The other six ended up on a Federation starship flying near the Bajoran Sector."

"2368?" Janeway asked, understanding the significance of the year. "That's the year the Bajorans began a full scale resistance to the Cardassian Occupation. By the next year, the Bajorans had claimed that station... Was Jessica involved?"

"Only superficially. You know how spiritual Bajorans are, right? Well, Jessica had no great love of Cardassians and she began sabotaging the station, little things that were really only noticed by the slaves working there, as it made their jobs easier. They saw her as a sign from the Prophets, and began their revolt in earnest.

"Jessica space-shifted to where she sensed her sisters and found herself in the middle of a battle with the Romulans. The battle was won, but the entire Starfleet crew died of a biological weapon that the Romulans transported aboard. Jessica and her sisters called on the memories of their joinings, called on the memories of their zhanali. Except Jessica, who merely organized them, having lost her zhanal years earlier.

"They piloted the ship towards the first Federation ship they could find. It was the Enterprise. The ship's systems were failing, the girls were dying, except for Janet, who had been in a surgical bubble from the moment they arrived on the ship, because of her condition. She was unaffected by the weapon, that only minimally affected the Wrou sisters.

"They reached the Enterprise, transported Janet over to them and stayed with the ship, transferring critical data over to the Enterprise Computers. Captain Picard ordered them to transport over to the Enterprise, but they raised shields and set the self-destruct, using the codes Jessica had hacked out of the main computer."

"Why didn't they transport over?" Janeway asked. "Why did they—"

"The weapon," B'Elanna answered. "They were carrying the virus that had killed the ship's crew. Anyway, the ship blew up and Jessica and her sisters combined every power in their bodies to make themselves pure energy. They then impregnated a member of the Enterprise's crew, super-gestating her. One hour for every month of normal development."

"Who?" Kathryn demanded, getting into the story.

"Um, I think her name was Deanna Troi. Anyway, their bodies reconstructed themselves, growing in bursts that ended with them in the forms they had had before they 'died.' Down to scar tissue."

"Wow," Janeway said, sitting back. Then the math hit her. "Wait a minute—the Enterprise-D was launched in 2363. If they returned in 2368, that—"

"Yeah. They were five years early. They were born on their exact birth anniversary, ten years developed, but five years from the year they were born." Kathryn shook her head.

"Unbelievable."

"Yeah," B'Elanna agreed. Every Shashan in the room was still staring at her and a larger crowd had gathered. Some children sat in the front of the group and B'Elanna growled at them. "What are you all looking at?" The Shashans scampered away, some laughing, others chattering away. One little boy walked boldly up to them and smiled.

"You tell the story of our Queen." He continued smiling and B'Elanna smiled back, nodding. "Are you her friend?"

"I'm both her friend and her cousin from the Klingon Empire," B'Elanna said and the boy's eyes grew huge and glowed yellow.

"May I touch you?" the boy asked. B'Elanna leaned down and kissed his cheek. He brought his hand to it and walked away, his eyes wide and dazed. Kathryn laughed.

"There's one thing I don't understand," Janeway said. B'Elanna turned to her. "How are you related?"

"Her Callayna is half Klingon, half Shashan."

"What does that term mean?"

"Genetic-Father is the exact translation. Her mother's husband, JonnAyt'n, is her Callayna. His genes were mixed with hers while she was still forming, so that she would be indistinguishable from his own child, and so that no one on Shasha knew that their First Princess was a bastard. It's what gave her the second mark on her throat."

"What?"

"Oh, sorry. When she's in full Shashan form, you can see her spots—"

"I remember those. You mean one of the big ones, just above her shoulders?"

"Yeah. But the thing is, Shashans only have one large mark. It's in the rough shape of the animal that that House is represented by, and why that animal is chosen. Jessica has two. A Unicorn and a Dragon, both perfectly formed. It's a genetic aberration.

"Usually, a female will take the mark of her mother's House, a male, his father's. Weak females have on occasion taken their father's or strong males, their mother's. But never has anyone taken two marks. Even Jessica's sisters only have the Unicorn. That's the only way to distinguish them physically."

"So she has the genetics of her mother, father and her mother's husband."

"And her godparents." Kathryn's eyebrows raised at this. "Her mother hadn't chosen one when the Enterprise-D showed up. The babies screamed psychically, who they wanted to be their godparents. By Shashan tradition, a bit of each of the godparents' genetic material is thrown into the mix just before birth. Not enough to alter their genetics, just enough to imprint them."

"So who were the godparents?" Janeway asked.

"Commander William Riker and Lieutenant-Commander Deanna Troi. Something about them being destined for each other, Jessica told me. Some word that I can't remember, in Betazoid."

"Hello, Captain," a soft, baritone voice interrupted. Kathryn looked up at Luii and smiled, then stood.

"Captain," she acknowledged. B'Elanna stood as well and grabbed her dishes.

"Your First Officer is requesting that you check in with him. After you do, I thought you might like to visit Jessica." Janeway nodded. Luii smiled. "There is a console that you can access right over there. I'll wait in the hall for you."

"Thank you," Kathryn said and Luii smiled. A female crewmember suddenly jumped in his way as he turned to leave and he looked at her. She pressed her hand against his chest and smiled, her eyes violet. He took her by the shoulders and looked into those eyes. She melted against him and he tossed her away. She looked confused as she sat on the floor and hissed at him. He just turned and left. Janeway looked at the woman as she stood. Her scales were almost golden in color, and her hair was blood red.

She caught Kathryn staring at her and she stood and sighed.

"It's such a waste," she said.

"What is?" B'Elanna asked. She looked at B'Elanna.

"The captain. He's sixteen and still unmated. He doesn't take lovers, doesn't even court. I'd like to kill that bitch Morina for ruining him for the rest of us."

"What do you mean?" Kathryn asked. The woman turned to Kathryn.

"Don't you know? He was one of the queen's personal concubines. The king was as well, but he at least mated our Queen. Luii can't seem to get over it. Some say that it's because he was the one who actually got the bitch pregnant, some say he's in love."

"With who?" B'Elanna asked. The woman smiled, her eyes laughing.

"Jessica, of course. She rescued the concubines, freed them and saved his life, since they all wanted to kill him for helping Morina breed. Morina was going to make him her King until he tried to murder her in her sleep. Then she told all the other boys that he was the one that fathered the brat that kept her in power. He was only twelve at the time and that bitch was twenty. She only liked the younger boys. But Jessica's House and his are in a constant state of dispute. She ignored that dispute and befriended him, almost forcing them to disown him."

"So if he pursued Jessica..." B'Elanna began and the woman shook her head.

"His family doesn't care about him any more. Not since his mother died. His father always hated him. I suppose it's because he never had any girls, just Luii."

Janeway walked to the comm, leaving B'Elanna to talk with the woman. She had noticed that her Chief Engineer had a taste for gossip and knew that the conversation wouldn't be over quickly. So she went to report to Chakotay that she was all right, amused by the contradiction of reporting to a lower ranked officer.

* * *

_Present..._

"Did you... have sex?" B'Elanna asked Seven later that morning as she ran the sonic shaver over her legs. Seven was watching in fascination.

"No. Why would you think that?" Seven responded.

"Because you weren't at home all night. I wanted to talk to you, so I asked the computer to inform me when you returned to your quarters. The computer never contacted me, so I know that you never got in."

"I fell asleep." Seven said, trying to ignore the throbbing that had set in behind her eyes.

"Why?" B'Elanna asked. When Seven didn't answer, she looked up and noticed that Seven was watching her shave with an intent look on her face. "What?"

"I did not say anything."

"Yeah, but why are you watching me?"

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No, I just want to know why you're doing it." B'Elanna said, getting a little frustrated with Seven's evasiveness.

"Because I have never observed this activity before."

"You don't shave?"

"I have no need. The doctor saw no reason to inconvenience me by stimulating hair growth that I would later need to remove." A thought passed through B'Elanna's mind and she blushed, but decided to try to find out anyway.

"So he only gave you hair on your head?"

"No." Seven sat on B'Elanna's bed as a wave of dizziness passed over her and waited for it to pass. "I also have hair on my pubic mound. The doctor said that I may choose to shave that later, but if I desired it, then it would be there. I have found no need to remove it as it does appear to be aesthetically pleasing." B'Elanna nodded absently, trying not to picture that 'aesthetically pleasing' hair. Before she knew what she was saying, a compliment spilled out of her mouth.

"Everything about you is aesthetically pleasing," she murmured. Seven blushed briefly.

"Thank you." B'Elanna's head shot up, having forgotten that Seven had superior hearing. She smiled and switched off the shaver. "You know, I had a friend that didn't have to shave. She was the only female from a mammalian species that I was ever friends with that didn't shave, as a matter of fact. Her race just doesn't grow hair anywhere else on their bodies."

"What was her name?" Seven asked, knowing that this was one of many appropriate responses to such a question. Also, species could often be derived from their designations.

"Jessica."

"Were you at the Academy or in the Maquis together?"

"Maquis. I thought..." B'Elanna's expression darkened a little and Seven surmised that Jessica had been a spy. Suddenly, B'Elanna shook her head slightly and laughed. "My god, I haven't thought about Jessica since... It's been a while." Her eyes grew distant. "I wonder if she is still alive." Seven stood and walked into the small bathroom.

"Do you wish her to be alive?" Seven asked, handing B'Elanna the towel she was groping blindly for after splashing water on her face. Seven returned to the bed, her head beginning to pound in earnest.

"Yes!" B'Elanna said, putting the towel back after using it. "She was my best friend. I mean, I was mad at her for a while for turning out to be a spy, but she never betrayed us. She nearly sacrificed her life to prevent our capture." A look passed over B'Elanna's face and a question formed in Seven's mind.

"Were you in love with her?" B'Elanna looked at Seven and opened her mouth to say no.

"Not _in_ love. But I did love her. She was related to me—not by much, but still..." B'Elanna noticed that Seven was looking at her strangely and she tried to explain. "You see, there was something about Jessica. Something that didn't let you _not_ feel. Indifference was anathema to her. And as alien as settling down. You either loved her or you hated her. There was no middle ground; she wouldn't allow it. It was all intensity. She was there, and then she was gone. But in that time, she was in your heart, one way or another."

"Certainly there were those whose emotions did not range in the extreme for her," Seven said. B'Elanna smiled and looked down, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over her chest.

"If you didn't like her, she'd make you hate her. If you liked her, she'd make you love her. And I did. I loved her. Sister, cousin, mother, friend, lover, whatever, I loved her. She was passion; she was fire. And she was never forever. When she left, she broke your heart." B'Elanna looked up. "But there was always a promise of tomorrow. 'Tomorrow I'll be back,' her eyes said."

"But she never came back?" Seven watched the emotions playing across B'Elanna's face. B'Elanna shook her head and a tear trailed down her face. Seven stood immediately and went to brush it away, meeting B'Elanna's hand in the process. For a moment, they locked eyes and Seven allowed her hand to rest on B'Elanna's cheek, the half-Klingon's gently touching her own.

Then Seven's head exploded in pain. Her hand went to her temple as she fell to the ground. B'Elanna tried to ask what was wrong, but Seven covered her mouth. Then, eyes wide, Seven's hand switched from B'Elanna's mouth, to her own. B'Elanna recognized the universal sign and moved Seven to the toilet, holding her hair back as she retched. B'Elanna wrinkled her nose at the smell, but didn't move her hand away from Seven's forehead, where it was being ground into the toilet lid.

"Seven, what the hell have you been drinking?" After Seven was finished heaving, she leaned back against B'Elanna's compact body, feeling everything shifting dizzily around.

"I do not recall what Ensign Kim called it."

"Harry got you drunk? That PetaQ!" B'Elanna was about to lay threats on his life when Seven shook her head violently.

"No. He ordered my drink without synthehol, but the replicator malfunctioned, apparently. He moved me to his bed when I passed out and slept on his couch." B'Elanna immediately took back every bad thing she had thought about Harry and transferred the insults to his replicator, which she intended to fix as soon as she could. After checking his replicator log to confirm what Seven had just told her.

"You should probably go to Sickbay, maybe the doctor can give you something. The last thing we need with this mysterious alien species that is blowing up this part of the Delta Quadrant is an Astrometrics officer with a hangover. Icheb can do your job until you're able to. I have to finish getting dressed and go to Engineering soon."

"I shall see the doctor," Seven agreed, hoping that he really could help. Her 'hangover' was one of the most uncomfortable conditions she had experienced since coming on board Voyager. It was an experience that she almost wished she hadn't allowed and intended never to endure again.

As she walked to Sickbay, she recalled the look on B'Elanna's face when she had attempted to remove the tear and wondered if she had made a mistake. She debated the issue and determined that she had misinterpreted the signs. Most likely, B'Elanna was not in love with her, but perhaps she did love her, as she loved Jessica. Then Seven began doubting her own feelings, wondering how one distinguished love from being _in love_ and by the time she reached Sickbay, she was so confused that she almost forgot why she was there.

_**To be continued…**_


	14. What goes around, never comes around

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 12 title is from "Waking Up" by Alanis Morrisette. Song within Chapter is "Angel" by Aerosmith._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

* * *

**Home, Chapter 12  
**_What goes around never comes around to you... _

* * *

_Present..._

B'Elanna chased the floating ball, determined not to let Harry or Seven have it. The grass was slippery from a drizzle that the computer was simulating and she almost lost her footing twice. Each time, she was able to regain her balance; one of them had snatched the ball. Now she had it and she was determined to take out her frustration on it.

'_Harry and Seven might be having sex_.' The thought broke B'Elanna's concentration and one of the holograms took the ball from her. Enraged, she almost knocked the hologram down recovering it. A week had passed in which the two might have been getting closer. B'Elanna hated that Harry might get something that she wanted. That he _had_ something she wanted.

_**WHAM!**_

The ball hit Harry soundly in the chest and he went down, coughing. B'Elanna suddenly felt horrible for her jealousy and anger as she remembered that it was directed at Harry. The first friend she had on Voyager. Harry, who wouldn't hurt a fly if it couldn't hurt him back. She ran to him, tripping over her own feet to find out if he was okay.

"I'm (cough) fine, really. Both of you calm down, please." Seven and B'Elanna were both asking him the same questions and he laughed, waving them off. "I'll go to Sickbay, if it means you two will stop worrying. Sheesh, I've just got the wind knocked out of me!"

…

"That, and a cracked sternum," the doctor grumbled when they reached Sickbay. "You need to take it easier, it's just a game."

"It's my fault," B'Elanna said. "I didn't really see him until after I kicked the ball. I was trying to score from half a field away."

"Well, I suppose that's understandable," the EMH said, grudgingly. "I can't fault you on an accident. You're just lucky that the safety protocols kicked in, or you would have worse than just a hairline fracture. Getting kicked point-blank by a Klingon at her strongest isn't a good way to stay healthy." Harry laughed and B'Elanna had to smile, even though she still felt terrible and wondered if she had unconsciously injured Harry on purpose.

"Thanks, Doc." Harry said, hopping off the bed when he was given a clean bill of health. "I think we still have the holodeck for fifteen more minutes if you ladies would like to finish our game? At least to the next point scored?" B'Elanna and Seven nodded and the trio left Sickbay and a protesting Medical Hologram behind.

* * *

_Past..._

Music floated down the corridor from their destination room. The Queen's suite. The doors hissed open to reveal Jessica dancing and singing at the top of her voice, not at all unpleasantly.

"Without your love, I'm nothing but a beggar! Without your love, a dog without a bone. What can I do?" Jessica was twirling towards the door and smacked into Luii on the last line. She leaned against his bare chest, surprised, as the song continued with 'I'm sleeping in this bed alone...' Jessica grinned up at Luii and stepped into him, wiggling playfully. "Happy to see me?" She teased, then Luii raised his eyebrow and she blushed furiously, turning and scampering back into the room.

"I've brought the Voyager officers to see you, My Queen," he stated formally. There was a hint of teasing in his voice and she grinned. He replied in kind, and then indicated that Kathryn, Harry, Tom and B'Elanna should enter. He turned and left.

"Well, welcome to my quarters." Janeway looked around, surprised at the amount of decoration in the room. It was very personalized, with two-dimensional photographs plastered to one wall in a collage of what looked like friends and family of Jessica, including one of the Queen with five identical girls, all dressed differently.

"There's no way you decorated this fast," Harry said after doing his own exploring.

"I believe that she got it messy this fast," B'Elanna joked. Jessica stuck out her tongue and knocked a pile of paper books off of a chair and cleared clothes off a couch. She looked at the items in her arms, and then tossed them behind the couch. Harry laughed.

"I always wondered how you passed room inspections," teased Kim. Jessica shrugged.

"Jaxa wanted to pass. So I... 'moved' my mess."

"Cheater," B'Elanna growled. "I was never ready for inspections and I always failed."

"Who's Jaxa?" Janeway asked. Jessica's eyes grew sad.

"Sito Jaxa. She was my roommate. She was a Senior, but since I was only planning to be there one year, they roomed me with her. Also, no one else would live with her." A dark look passed over Harry's face for a moment and Janeway had to ask.

"Why?"

"She was part of Nova Squadron. A member was killed when they were attempting to perform a dangerous and illegal stunt formation. They lied to cover it up, but in the end came clean. She was allowed to stay on, but everyone hated her afterwards."

"Sounds familiar," Tom muttered, taking a seat on the couch. Jessica shrugged.

"The dead cadet agreed to the stunt, so it was just as much his fault that he died as any of theirs." Kathryn looked shocked. "What?" Janeway shook her head. "I like the outcasts. It's one of the reasons I spent so much time as one. I don't tolerate anyone who's honestly a nice, good person to be treated like shit." Harry sat on the couch, next to Tom and B'Elanna sat next to Harry, leaving the chair to Kathryn, who sat down as well.

"Can I get you anything to drink? Tea, soda, juice, coffee?" Janeway's eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.

"Coffee?" Jessica smiled at the captain, and then looked at everyone else. They gave her their drink orders and she went to a comm panel.

"Galley, send up a coffee, one orange juice, tea, a soda and a Raktijino." Jessica turned and walked back to the group, shoving a pile of clothes into a bigger pile and sitting on it as though it was a chair. Janeway started to offer her seat, but Jessica waved her away.

"Thank you for the coffee," Janeway said, smiling. "Where do you get it?"

"Shaola grows coffee plants naturally. Almost the same as Earth's, but the flavor is indistinguishable. Plus, we have coffee recipes from all over the galaxy. Personally, I'm nothing without a Raktijino every now and then. Coffee puts me to sleep, but something in Klingon coffee wakes me right up." A few seconds later, the boy that B'Elanna had bestowed a kiss upon earlier showed up with a tray of beverages, and then left quickly.

"I wanted to thank you, Jessica. My crew really needs the shore leave that this trip is going to provide and Voyager really needs the repairs. If we were back in the Alpha Quadrant, she would have been able to dock at the nearest port, but we've been without that luxury for a week or so now."

"You're welcome. Always glad to be of help," Jessica suddenly looked tired, stood and went into another room of the quarters without explanation. She emerged a moment later with Mary-Jane, who was whimpering quietly. Jessica sat her down and dragged a bag out of the mess. She changed the baby quietly, while everyone else looked around the room in fascination and sipped their drinks.

"To answer your question, Harry, this room is always decorated for me. I'm the only one who ever uses it, so it's always waiting for my return. But they clean it when I'm gone, so I can't find anything when I get back."

"How can you find anything in this?" Janeway asked, hoping that she wasn't being rude.

"I know where everything is. And it's not a mess," Jessica said, frowning at B'Elanna as she lifted her baby up to hold. "It's organized chaos." Everyone laughed at that, even the baby. Suddenly, Tom noticed something on the wall and he stood and walked to it.

"What's this?" Janeway stood to examine it as well. The only thing she could read was the first two words: Jessica Sara. The next part looked like it was in Klingon and the rest of the page was in the same language as the signs on the ship.

"That's my name," Jessica said with a laugh.

"There's gotta be a hundred here!" Tom exclaimed.

"One hundred and seven, to be precise. Shashans have a particular method of naming. The first name is my personal name, the one that I am called by. The second is from the race of my father's mother. Then my father's father's race is the third name. But since my father was full human, my Callayna's father's race is the third name. Jessica Sara B'Eal. Then my main race is the fourth name—Shanala. It means 'impossible.' I'm not sure if it's an insult or not. The next hundred are my ancestors' surnames, back fifty generations, the last being my mother's married name—Wrou. Then my maiden surname, since it was changed when I was on Earth—"

"O'Neil?" Janeway asked, surprised to find another name she could read. "Troi and Rozhenko." Jessica nodded as Kathryn looked at her for confirmation.

"That's a lot of names to learn," Tom said. Jessica nodded again.

"At least I don't take any but my First husband's last name."

"First husband?" Tom asked.

"She has two," Harry supplied. Tom raised his eyebrow.

"How many are you allowed to have?" Janeway asked.

"No more than five, including wives, if I wish." Kathryn shook her head and looked back at the long string of names, trying to see if she could read any others. "My mother's side isn't listed, only my Callayna's, so you won't be able to read most of those names. He took his mother's and she her father's, and so on. My father's name is in there, too. We're also expected to memorize the full name of the parent of the same gender. It prevents inbreeding."

"Makes sense," Tom said. "But if you have two husbands, before genetic testing was available, how did you know which was the father?"

"Only the Queen is allowed to take multiple spouses and if paternity is in question, then the First husband is named the father by default."

"_Kirk_?" Kathryn had finally found another name that she could read.

"Shh. It's a secret." Jessica said in a little girl voice. Kathryn turned and looked at the girl. Short, golden hair curled softly around her head and yes—she saw the same look that the legend's pictures had held in her eyes. Janeway shook her head.

"Impossible."

"That's my name, don't wear it out," Jessica muttered. "My family always has the ability to space-shift. My mother was no exception and she was much better than I at spatial perception. If she hadn't been where she was, then the miracle of my birth would never have happened. My mother wasn't supposed to have children. But this anomaly had a thing for granting dreams..." Jessica's eyes grew distant, as Janeway noticed they often did.

"How did your mother meet him? I thought that you were the child of her first marriage. James Kirk was never married."

"She met him on Earth, where she was born. It was annulled. No records exist for it. Not even their memories, since they're both dead now. But my sons will carry his name in theirs, even if they don't know why."

"How many children do you have?" Kathryn asked.

"Too many." Jessica noticed that Kathryn wanted a number and answered. "Pamela, who's now dead, Alexandra, who's two, Brian, Jack and Elizabeth, who are one and Mary Jane. Also, I'm currently gestating." Kathryn shook her head in disbelief. "It's a product of genetic engineering from five hundred years ago, during a plague. Our scientists, desperate to repopulate our species, who were down to only a few million, worked with the most prominent families to increase breeding. About three hundred Houses were chosen, including mine, the third and the fourth Houses, to be altered.

"Once, we entered our first minor sajala at about the age of thirteen and were able to breed around the age of fifteen through seventeen for our first true sajala. The scientists lowered the breeding age in some families, including mine, to ten. A side effect of their tampering, in about sixty Houses, was that at five months into gestation, we begin ovulating again. Suffice it to say that a lot of women were bred to death in that time, but since then, we're a little more careful."

"You don't seem to be," Tom remarked, earning a wry grin from Jessica.

"No, I'm not. But I wasn't supposed to be able to have children, either, due to my condition. So when I accidentally got pregnant the first time while being pregnant, it was a shock."

"Condition?" Janeway asked. Harry had been smiling, but immediately, it vanished from his face.

"I have what is called Vaggimort Syndrome. It occurs only in children born to mothers with damaged ova. The results are often sterility and advanced mental prowess, but I can have children, although I do experience the latter. The other effect of the syndrome is death." Jessica said it calmly, no hint of emotion. "No one with Vaggimort has ever seen their twenty-first birthday, although one male lived to the day before. Between the ages of fifteen and nineteen, rapid aging begins. Sometimes it lasts a few days, sometimes a few years. The end result has never changed, in the two hundred thousand years since it was first diagnosed."

"A coma, then death." B'Elanna said, sounding subdued. Jessica nodded and Kathryn felt her heart pang in sympathy.

"How long have you known?" Janeway asked.

"It was diagnosed in myself and my sisters in utero. No cure has ever been found, not even a preventative measure. I've known since before I was born, through the telepathic link with my mother. It's why I was accepted into the Academy and allowed to take an accelerated schedule of classes. Because I'm racing time, trying to live before I die." All the exuberance was gone from Jessica and for a moment, she was completely serious. Then she shook it off and smiled at everyone. "Anyone for a game?"

* * *

_Present..._

"Hey, Spaz, watch where you're going!" B'Elanna heard Carey shout. Angrily she spun on him, but he was already on the lift to an upper level of Engineering. She turned to Spacey, who was trying to gather up the instruments that had spilled all over the floor when Carey had crashed into her and knelt down to help her pick them up. Spacey looked surprised at B'Elanna and smiled shyly.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." B'Elanna looked into her clear green eyes and smiled back.

"Don't let them get to you," B'Elanna offered. They stood up and the petite redhead suddenly hugged B'Elanna, and then shrunk back on herself.

"I know that that wasn't protocol, it's just that you've done so much for me. If it weren't for your recommendation, I'd still be down here all the time, stumbling around. I love flying this ship, she's so responsive and I know from working here that that's partly due to you. So thank you for giving me a chance, especially _when_ you did." Anna's eyes went to her hand where she nervously picked a hangnail.

"You're welcome, Anna." Spacey smiled one more time, then her eyes grew large as saucers and she looked past B'Elanna, her pale skin blanching until the tan spots that traveled down either side of her face and neck stood out in stark relief. B'Elanna looked behind her, but all she saw was Harry Kim, discussing something with Vorik. She looked back at the part-Trill woman and wondered what had her so... B'Elanna looked back. Harry? Vorik? Once more her eyes traveled back to Spacey and there it was.

The young woman was in love. Or at least had a serious crush. On which one of the men, B'Elanna didn't know. Spacey snapped out of her trance and the color bled back into her face, tingeing her cheeks with pink. B'Elanna grinned knowingly and Anna blushed furiously as she met the half-Klingon's eyes.

"I better get going," she said and scurried out of Engineering, not looking back up even once. B'Elanna chuckled lightly and then went back to work, in a much better mood than before.

…

"Regeneration cycle incomplete." The computer complained as Seven sat up in bed. Seven looked at the compact regeneration unit attached to her bed that allowed her to appear to sleep and sighed. It had been a dream. The same dream that she had experienced for the past four nights, never changing. _She was standing in a field, a pink dress blowing about her body, not a single implant remaining in her system._

'_Unimatrix Zero? No… not quite_.' Seven lay down and tried to remember the dream even as her mind tried to reorganize her thoughts to forget it.

_There was a warm sun shining overhead, heating her and making the world around her sparkle. She was laughing into a breeze and she started picking flowers—violets. She looked up from kneeling on the grass when she heard a sound. It was her name. 'Seven!' Harry was calling and she looked at him. He was smiling, offering her a bouquet of roses. She looked down at the tiny purple and white flowers in her hand and heard another voice. But this voice was crying. _

_She stood and ran to the crying voice, finding B'Elanna, sitting on a sheet of metal. Suddenly, clouds began rolling in overhead. As Seven walked to B'Elanna, she saw that she was lying across a torpedo casing, with a blue United Federation Of Planets flag lying across it. Seven offered B'Elanna the violets, knowing that they weren't enough. _

_Seven looked around as B'Elanna took the crumpled flowers and saw Harry, still smiling, illuminated in a shaft of sunlight. The roses hung limply at his side and his expression changed from happy to puzzled. Seven looked back down at B'Elanna to find that the half-Klingon had lain the flowers on the makeshift coffin. _

_'My love,' B'Elanna whispered, and kissed the shiny black surface. She looked up at Seven and glared. Seven looked back at Harry, but he was gone. 'You killed my love—' Seven looked back down as the thunder drowned out B'Elanna's words. She was giving a speech, but the thunder rumbled on. _

_Suddenly, the scene shifted and B'Elanna was sitting on top of her, wrestling with her. Seven wasn't strong enough and B'Elanna leaned down and bit her cheek. Seven cried out, not in pain, not in pleasure. She just reacted. B'Elanna didn't look happy. _

_'You still can't feel me!' B'Elanna slapped her and Seven started crying. Suddenly, B'Elanna was gone and in her place was Harry, trying to soothe her. Rain had started pouring from the sky and his body blocked it from hers. He kissed her gently, then more forcefully, climbing on top of her. She felt him, pressed against her and again, there was nothing. _

_'You still can't feel me.' He looked sad. _

_'I do not know what you mean!' Seven cried. Harry shook his head. _

_'I'm just an experiment.' _

_'She doesn't know what she wants,' B'Elanna reappeared to add. _

_'She wants you,' Harry said. B'Elanna didn't look convinced. _

_'Does she? Then why is she with you?' _

_'Because she wants to be human.' _

_'Human? She's just a machine.' Seven stood and ran from them, to the torpedo coffin. She knelt down in front of it and threw the lid open. She looked into the face of—_

"Regeneration cycle incomplete." Seven looked around again, then threw her pillow across the room.

"I am not a machine!" She yelled at no one in particular. Seven felt a tear begin to track down her cheek and she covered her eyes with the palms of her hands. "I have feelings! I do feel you!" She screamed the words, defying every nasty comment, every fearful look, and every denied emotion that she had ever known.

Next door, the young occupant awoke to Seven's shouts. She began to cry in the darkness, whispering, "I hear you." Anna rolled over in bed and closed her eyes, the sole witness to Seven's outburst.

_**To be continued…**_


	15. I can't do this anymore

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 13 title is from "Home" by Staind. Songs quoted are, in order of appearance: "Insect Kin" by Bush and "Everything Zen" also by Bush. Song later in chapter is written by me and I am the sole owner._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

**

* * *

**

**Home, Chapter 13  
**_I can't do this anymore... **

* * *

**_

_Past..._

The next day, Captain Janeway and Chakotay met B'Elanna on the Dracco, where she had stayed the night, catching up with Jessica. They met for lunch in the galley with Captain Tarrel. They were reviewing the laws and customs of Shashan society when Jessica walked into the room. She was smiling, greeting people quietly. Janeway, who was facing the door, noticed her first. Chakotay turned to look, smiling. Then he stopped what he was saying mid-sentence and the smile fell from his face.

B'Elanna didn't notice and waved Jessica over. She came and sat next to Kathryn, across from Chakotay and Luii. She straddled the chair backwards and propped her head up on her hands.

"Hi," she said, grinning. Everyone but Chakotay greeted her. Luii looked at the stoic man and frowned.

"He doesn't seem to like you," Tarrel commented.

"I know," Jessica confirmed. She leaned closer to Chakotay. " 'It's all the pain in her way she talks, all the pain in the way she walks. All the pain in her wave good-bye, all the pain in the way she smiles. All the pain in her fatal charms,' " Jessica's voice cracked with emotion as she sung the last line. " 'All the pain in her arms...' " She had Chakotay's undivided attention.

"It's not that." Chakotay said, quietly.

"There's no sex in your violence?"

"Will you stop quoting song lyrics?" Chakotay asked, exasperated.

"If you'll stop lying to yourself."

"I'm not—"

"No? 'Because I trusted her'? You expect anyone to buy that? That's only half the truth. I didn't betray you and you know it. What's the real truth? You're pissed because I left? Because I didn't pretend I was guiltless and stay with the Maquis? Or stay with you?" Her voice lowered progressively throughout her speech and Chakotay's eyes darkened in response.

Kathryn didn't quite catch what Chakotay mumbled, but his body was taut and beginning to shake. Jessica pretended not to hear. "Fuck you," he hissed, uncharacteristically.

"Is that it? The Bajoran bitch—" Jessica didn't make it any further as Chakotay stood and his chair skidded back. He walked around the table and she only had enough time to stand before he was on her. He lifted her and slammed her into a nearby wall.

"Is this what you want? You want me to react?"

"Yes!" She growled. There was silence for a moment, then Jessica screamed "I am not a fucking child!" It wasn't just a vocal scream, it reverberated in the minds of everyone in the room, deafening everyone momentarily and leaving Kathryn with a headache. "I was never given that option! I'm seven-hundred and forty-six years old! I'm the first!" Every Shashan in the room fell to their knees and assumed the position that Neelix had two days ago on Voyager.

"No! You're fourteen years old! You only have the memories—"

"I lived those lives!"

"Other people's lives!"

"My lives! I lived them! So fuck you!" she screamed. Chakotay still held her against the wall and her legs wrapped around his hips and he smacked her against it again. Kathryn didn't like how comfortable Jessica looked there, or how violet her eyes were glowing. She hissed a deep breath, revealing her fangs again.

"You're right, you're not a child. I know that. A lot of people know that." She hit him and he grabbed her wrists, pinning her against the wall. "I'm sorry you never had a childhood, I'm sorry that you grew up too soon. But at least you had a life when you were previously doomed to have none!"

"Stop trying to figure it out, Chakotay. There were no signs! Just because two people share their bed doesn't mean they share their minds!" Jessica's comment didn't make sense at first to Kathryn, and then she realized that it must have been something Jessica was reading telepathically.

"You fucked her?" B'Elanna yelled, obviously furious. Luii stopped her from entering the fight with a hand on her shoulder.

"It's so easy for you. You're there, then you're gone. You always have some place to move on to. You leave a string of broken hearts behind you and you never care!" Chakotay released her and stepped back. Jessica fell to her knees.

"I'm always holding out my hand! I'm always offering to share my life. No one ever takes it! God, I care, I love and it doesn't matter because I'm always alone the next day! You think I don't feel it? You think it doesn't kill me? I wish I didn't care. Every time I move on, I leave a piece of myself. How much more can I lose before there's nothing left?"

"What about your husbands? You have them." Tears welled up in Jessica's eyes and she released a cracking sob that brought tears to Kathryn's own eyes. Jessica sat on her heels and cried.

"I don't have Alexander. He's going to leave, I can see it in his eyes, in his mind. Benden is never there anymore. What do you think that's like? Even when I have someone, they're not mine!"

"Everyone who knows you probably feels that way! No one can ever have you, you're always moving on."

"I have to move on. Why doesn't anyone ever come with me? All I get are memories like dreams, the same scenes playing over and over in my mind. Everything in the universe is more important than me, it seems." Jessica rocked forward.

"Because no one wants to share you! You can't settle down, you can't stick to one person. You don't love anyone enough to let them be your one and only."

"But I've never pretended that I would, I've never lied! And has anyone ever tried to make me? No! You just let me go like I mean nothing. I try to make you happy, I try to be whatever you need, but you all stay behind, safe and hurt, but comforted by the foreknowledge that it would happen! I always beg for you to come with me!" Jessica was screaming by the end, the control she carried every second of every day finally revealed in its loss. Whispered words followed: "I'm never good enough."

Chakotay was silent, speechless. He looked shocked, no longer angry. Something passed over his face, some realization.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "That we're what broke you." Jessica arched backwards, still on her knees and lay back until her head was touching the floor, looking very uncomfortable.

"Use me, use me  
Go ahead, abuse me  
I can't feel it I can't deal it  
kills me now you don't know how  
it's deep inside so go ahead, take a ride..." Jessica sang in a cracked voice, then violently jerked around, curling into a ball on the floor, crying her heart out in broken sobs. Chakotay took a step forward, then paused as though he didn't know what to do. B'Elanna broke from Luii and shoved past Chakotay to fall next to Jessica and gather her up in her arms. Jessica clung to B'Elanna, her cries silenced, her back wrenching with the sobs she tried to repress. B'Elanna lifted her and carried her from the room, not looking back.

* * *

_Present..._

B'Elanna yanked out the gel pack, glaring at the color.

"It is yellow," Seven observed, her ocular implant raised. B'Elanna's hearts raced at the sound of the deep voice and anger rose at herself as she remembered how she had not fought for Seven when she had the chance. She knew better than to take it out on Seven, but she just felt so... "Lieutenant?"

"I'm sorry, Seven, I'm just a little out of it."

"Are you well?" Seven asked, concerned. B'Elanna nodded mutely and began examining the pathways surrounding the gelpack, trying to ascertain the cause of the discoloration of the device. She didn't have to look long to see that there was a connecting wire twisted out of alignment and completely blocked off, preventing the pack from releasing waste products from its system.

"What could have produced the torque to damage this circuit?" B'Elanna wondered aloud as she stared into the murky bioneural circuitry.

"Perhaps a life form invaded the Environmental system and was propelled there from those fans?" Seven suggested, stretching her body into the hole to examine a similarly damaged blade. The movement put Seven's breasts right in B'Elanna's face and it was more than the engineer could stand. She dropped the sick gelpack and fell backwards, trying to fight the almost overwhelming urge to find out if Seven's breasts were as soft as they looked.

"B'Elanna?" Seven asked, looking down. B'Elanna stood, grabbing the gelpack, intent on hiding in Engineering.

"Sounds right, the, uh, your theory... about the life form that is, I mean," B'Elanna stammered, frustrated. "It makes sense. I'm just gonna run this pack down to Engineering and get a new one. Thanks for your help, I'm sure that we'll have deck four fog-free in no time." B'Elanna turned and almost ran when Seven's voice stopped her.

"Why are you behaving in this manner?" Seven asked. "Have I made you uncomfortable somehow?" 'Damn, she doesn't miss anything,' B'Elanna thought.

"Yes—no, I can't... I need... time, Seven, I..." B'Elanna realized that she was about to burst the gelpack, she was squeezing it so hard and she loosened her grip. "I can't do this right now." B'Elanna knew it was cowardice, she knew that it was dishonorable, she didn't care. She turned and fled.  
…

"She's been avoiding me, too," Harry said, not liking what Seven had just told him. He also didn't like how distressed Seven had become over B'Elanna's abrupt departure. 'I'm losing her,' he thought, almost desperate. 'They're in love,' another part of him argued. He didn't know what to do. Every time he thought about breaking it off with Seven, something stopped him. He knew that this was his only chance with her and that was the only excuse he could offer himself.

"Perhaps... No, I cannot offer any explanation for her behavior. It has become increasingly erratic the past few days, culminating in the event earlier today. Can you elucidate the situation to me?"

"Maybe... I don't know. It sounds like—" Harry was relieved when the Captain called all hands to battle stations, saving him from revealing his thoughts on the matter. They stood in unison and headed to the Bridge. Seven had many opportunities to ask him to continue his train of thought, but not once did she attempt to do so.  
…

Debris, residual weapon signatures and a distress call. None of it gave the Voyager crew any clue as to who had destroyed the little vessel. No, destroy was too weak a word—they obliterated the Nerelkan science ship. The Nerelkin were a friendly species that Voyager had encountered the day before, a race of gentle artists with owl-like features.

Nothing bigger than a finger bone remained.  
…

Seven fell, exhausted into her bed, having worked non-stop in Astrometrics for almost three days, trying to find the ship or ships responsible for the mass destruction that Voyager had been encountering since leaving Mekrell space. Janeway had stated that it was her belief that the Mekrell were hostile due to the threat just beyond their borders. Seven, feeling slightly confrontational, had stated that she believed it was the Mekrell.

She had found no proof to support her accusation. Janeway still didn't discount her theory and even agreed that it was a possibility. Seven wanted a fight. She didn't get one. She had then engaged B'Elanna in a debate in Engineering, refusing to call her anything but Lieutenant Torres. Again, she did not get the altercation she unconsciously sought.

So, she had resumed working, growing further frustrated as the days went by. She stopped to engage in a date with Harry, but he refused, once again, to have sex with her. After attempting to stimulate him to the point where he would no longer resist, she merely found herself aroused and without an outlet to resolve her frustrations.

She lay on the bed and attempted auto-erotic stimulation, but found no relief in it and abandoned the activity as unproductive. She avoided the position required for activating her regeneration cycle, despite the fact that she was exhausted, and allowed her thoughts to race, trying to find an activity that would relieve the tension in her abdomen.

She didn't wish to sleep, as the dreams had begun creating further sexual frustration for her and Harry had already made his feelings on the matter of sex, plain. Seven stood and began pacing, her muscles taut and she, high-strung. …  
**_…_**

Janeway walked to the holodeck to play Velocity, delighted that Seven had requested a game. They hadn't played in almost three months and Kathryn had begun to think that she would need a new opponent. Upon sight of Seven, however, she wondered what the agitated ex-drone's motives were for challenging her.

"Hello, Seven," Kathryn greeted brightly.

"Good evening, Captain. Thank you for agreeing to participate in a game on such short notice."

"About that, Seven. I'm delighted that you thought of me, but why were you so anxious to play a game now?"

"I cannot sleep and I find that I am... overly energetic." Satisfied with the explanation, Janeway accepted the explanation and joined Seven in the holodeck.  
…

Panting, sweating and aching, Kathryn called a stop to the game after she realized they had been playing for three hours. Kathryn was tired and Seven showed no signs of diminishing any of her excess energy. They had switched games repeatedly, Seven winning the majority of the games, but Kathryn having won her fair share. Their latest game had been a combination of basketball and volleyball and was set on an anti-grav field.

The computer gently aligned them with the floor and the holographic players vanished into oblivion at the captain's word. Seven sighed and walked to the captain, offering her hand. Kathryn took it, a little surprised.

"Thank you for your company, Captain. I realize that it cannot have been easy for you. I am not certain why I am not just as fatigued as yourself. It had been my hope that I would be, but obviously..." Seven trailed off.

"You're welcome Seven and thank you for being such a good sport. I'm sorry that I can't play any more, but if you still can't sleep, then maybe you should see the Doctor." Seven nodded and walked Janeway to the door of the holodeck, where she wished her good-night. As soon as Janeway boarded the turbolift, Seven returned to the holodeck, intent on wearing herself out.  
…

"Fractured tibia, bruised tailbone, two sprained metacarpals and you managed to break every bone in your right hand. With the safety protocols on."

"Yes, Doctor," Seven said, finally ready to sleep, some of her frustration sated.

"How?" The EMH almost shouted, unable to believe the amount of damage Seven had inflicted upon herself in the holodeck.

"I believe it was the parises squares game that did the most damage. A mallet smashed my hand against the far side of the court. Then I tripped and damaged my leg in the fall. My tailbone was injured 'ice skating.' "

"May I ask why you were running so many simulations in the holodeck?"

"I had a lot of energy to... work off."

"Indeed," the Doctor growled. "Well, a least it's nothing that I can't fix. Please change into this gown," he said, handing it to her. "I'll be with you as soon as you're done to heal your injuries." Seven glared at the gown as she complied.  
…

Harry had tried to broach the subjects of Seven's feelings and B'Elanna, but Seven was evasive and flirtatious, behaving like an overeager prom date, trying to get into his pants. He asked himself, for the umpteenth time, why he was refusing her and this time, he received no answer. She had finally worn him down.

Her offer was too attractive to turn down again.

He just couldn't fight it anymore...

**_To be continued…_**


	16. Almost Human, but I'll never be the same

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 14 title is from "Long Way Down" by the Goo Goo Dolls._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7

Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

Extra Disclaiming Note: All chapter titles are NOT owned by me and are owned, respectively, by the bands who wrote/played them and their record companies.

**

* * *

**

**Home, Chapter 14  
**_Almost Human, but I'll never be the same...**

* * *

**_

_Past..._

"What did she mean that she's seven-hundred and forty six years old?" Janeway asked Luii as Chakotay stalked out of the Mess Hall. Luii sighed.

"Have you ever heard of a being called a Q?" Janeway's head swung around, giving him her full attention. "I'll take that as a yes. Well, you see, when she was on the Enterprise-D, she encountered one. Apparently, he haunted the Enterprise like a ghost."

"Yes, I've heard."

"The Q are forbidden to meddle in the lives of Shashans, without their voluntary permission. Jessica gave hers in exchange for Q's noninterference in the lives of the eleven other children on the Enterprise. He planned to test the limits of the human psyche."

"I don't mean to interrupt, but why did the Q give you special treatment?"

"One day, about nine hundred years ago, one of us was strong enough to prevent the Q from blinking us out of existence. Instead, she bludgeoned the Q and they agreed from that day forward that they wouldn't bother us if we didn't bother them. Q was perfectly willing to leave Jessica out of his experiment, but she wouldn't let him destroy the lives of the children and traded herself.

"He forced her to live twelve lives taken from myth and history. Two of those lives were on Shaola—Ktana, a princess from the plague years and Shasha. The first, who's soul she is said to carry."

"The first?"

"The first Shashan, from a million years past. The first to hatch, think and draw breath as a form of what we are today. Much different in body, as she still had a tail and six breasts, but still, not as far removed as her ancestors. It's a long story, and as all our myths are, it is scientific fact mixed with legend, passed by word of mouth for all these years."

"How can you be certain it hasn't changed?"

"We have eidetic memories as young children, and though they fade with age, that which we learn in the first six years never leaves us, unless we suffer severe brain damage. Every minute from about a week before our birth is stored in permanent memory. I can't say that things don't get exaggerated, but the basic truth underlies all. Also, Jessica was there to confirm much of it."

"How can you be certain that Q wasn't showing her a myth?"

"Because we want to believe it. It is amazing what logic a person will reject for pure faith."

"So Q made her live the lives of twelve people?"

"Yes. To test the strength of her mind. She maintained that strength until he left the Enterprise, both excited that her mind was so strong and disappointed that he hadn't broken her. As soon as he left, she went into a mental coma. Her mind wasn't able to process the memories of twelve lifetimes. The coma didn't last long, only about two days, then she came to, her mind reorganized to deal with information it wasn't designed to handle."

"Trill hosts handle that information—"

"The memories are stored in the symbiont. The Host has only his or her own memories and where the other lives meet, there is often confusion. That is why they have a screening process." Kathryn jumped at the voice and looked at Jessica, who had come back into the Mess Hall without her knowledge. "Also, I'm not a Trill. I haven't had centuries of evolution to prepare me to share my mind with the memories of other people's lives."

"So what did your mind do to... reorganize?"

"It's like multiple-personality schizophrenia. It separated the lives into other parts of my brain, like different personalities, only I have complete control over and access to those memories. I just have to set aside my own memories to access them." Jessica looked haggard and tired. She seemed to be having trouble breathing and Kathryn began worrying.

"Are you alright?" Jessica smiled, but it didn't meet her eyes.

"I really need to go to the Infirmary, but I wanted to apologize for my outburst. I won't make any excuses for my behavior, it was simply atrocious." Janeway didn't know what to say. She didn't really understand and at the same time, she did. Jessica seemed to know what she was thinking however and smiled, bowed slightly and left. For once, Kathryn didn't have any questions left.

_Present...  
_

Seven listened to her own breathing: fast, but even. Her body twitched and jerked, enjoying the sensations it had never before experienced. Harry lay beside her, his hand between her legs, causing those sensations. Every time she asked if he was going to engage in intercourse, he responded with...

"You aren't ready, yet." Seven didn't understand this. She felt ready. How could he think she wasn't, when she was lying here with him?

"Trust me, Seven. I won't ruin this for you." She relaxed again, concentrating on the mounting tension inside her that seemed to promise something that she didn't completely understand. A moan was ripped out of her as the feelings suddenly escalated, driving her to the edge, those promises about to be fulfilled. Harry's fingers slid down, then back up and he never missed a beat as he climbed onto her.

There was a moment of pain, but she didn't really notice as she climaxed, crying out as all her frustration, all her tension was released. She opened her eyes and looked into Harry's, feeling a stab of guilt as she thought his eyes were just a little too small, just a shade too dark... She closed her eyes and relaxed her body and realized that Harry was waiting for her. She looked up again, feeling her body grow excited at the prospect of another orgasm.

She ignored the picture in her head, of B'Elanna, in Harry's place... …

B'Elanna decided that she was being stupid, ruining her two best friendships on Voyager over a crush. She hated girls who did that when she was in school, and hated herself now for doing the exact same thing. She approached Harry's quarters, deciding that he would be easier to convince that she had just been in a mood.

She smelled it first. Her Klingon senses picked up the scent just outside his door. She listened, but realized that for her to catch the scent, then the doors would have had to have been opened recently. She touched the door chime, reminding herself that she had no right to be jealous.

She had lied to Seven, lied to herself and whatever happened now, she had no business saying anything. Harry opened the door and B'Elanna could smell Seven, all over his skin. A human wouldn't be able to on their best day, but B'Elanna wasn't quite human, as much as she sometimes liked to pretend she was.

"Hi, Starfleet," she said, smiling sadly. He returned the smile, something in his eyes that she couldn't read.

"Hey, Maquis." B'Elanna stopped herself before she took a deep breath and just decided to pretend nothing had happened.

"Breakfast?" she asked. Harry's smile widened.

"Sure, I'm not on for an hour." They walked down the corridor together, friends again as if nothing had happened, but desperately jealous of each other.

_Past... Next day..._

Kathryn stepped into the lift with Jessica and B'Elanna. There was a small, light-red Shashan girl inside, wearing a pale green tunic. She looked at Jessica and raised her wrists to her inclined forehead, as Janeway had seen many of the ship's crew do.

"Command deck," Jessica said. She smiled at her visitors and opened her mouth to say something when the young woman began speaking in a soft voice.

"Majesty?" Jessica looked at her and smiled.

"Yes... Larrana, isn't it?" The woman nodded, looking pleasantly surprised. Then she began shifting her weight nervously.

"I... I don't know if I should..." Larrana looked at the data padd in her hand for a moment. "Captain Tarrel didn't tell you, and… but I thought you should…" Janeway noticed that the girl had a bad habit of not finishing her sentences. She seemed to be working up the courage to hand Jessica the padd. "Here." Kathryn had to fight the urge to applaud.

"What is it?" Jessica said, still smiling, though her brow had furrowed in puzzlement. She looked down at the foreign writing and began scrolling down, losing her smile as she went. Finally, she looked up as the lift slowed to a stop. "Is this true?" Jessica asked as the doors slid open.

"Yes," Larrana said, catching the door before it closed. "It just came in yesterday. I know that the Captain didn't want you to see it, but I didn't think that it was right, considering."

"Thank you, Larrana. I'll try to be at your wedding next week, I promise." Larrana beamed and hurried out of the lift, letting the doors close behind her.

"What is it?" B'Elanna asked as Jessica resumed reading.

"Vorchen activity report," Jessica said, and then looked at B'Elanna. "Can you hear my thoughts?" B'Elanna knit her brow and then shook her head.

"No." The doors opened and Jessica stormed out onto the command deck and Luii turned. He looked at her, confused, and then she backhanded him. He hit the deck, hard.

"You son of a bitch!" she said and kicked him while he was down. Then she grabbed him by the hair and yanked him up until he was in her face. "Drop your fucking shields, right now!" she yelled and released him. Luii stood up and backed out of her reach. "Drop them!" It was a scream.

"I thought you never swung first," Luii said, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth.

"You had no right. Now stop blocking me!" Everyone on the deck had frozen at his or her tasks to watch the altercation. Kathryn stood next to B'Elanna, in shock. Luii closed his eyes for a moment and Jessica dropped to the deck, drawing in a painful breath. B'Elanna brought her hand to her head and winced. Jessica released her breath as a low, drawn-out sob.

"Are you happy? I was just trying to protect you." Jessica glared up at him.

"How... dare you?" She stood up. "You motherfucking—"

"Insults don't become you, your Majesty." Luii hissed. Jessica glared at him.

"You didn't give me that report because you knew that she was there. You knew what I would have to do."

"You don't have to do it! We can send rescue—"

"That isn't enough!" Jessica's scream echoed through the bridge over Luii's yell.

"I didn't tell you because I knew that you would react this way. It isn't as if she were your wife!" Jessica was walking away and as he said this, she turned back to him.

"It doesn't matter if she's my wife or not, you know how much she means to me.

"That day on the space station, when she declared that she was your wife to that Vorchen, she made a lot of enemies." Luii said, his eyes having gone black.

"If she hadn't made that declaration, I wouldn't be standing here now."

"I know. Which proves that if you continue being so impetuous, you're going to get yourself killed," he said, his volume rising with each word.

"You think I care? As long as no one I care about gets killed, why should it bother me? If I die, then I'm meant to die. Period."

"Don't you think that that is exactly the way she feels? She is Starfleet, after all. She knew that her work could get her killed."

"She would do the same for me."

"And you wouldn't forgive her for it." They stood there, glaring at each other, panting in fury. "You're no help to anyone if you're dead."

"Who says I'm going to die?" Jessica yelled, then walked backwards, stumbling slightly. "I'm fucking immortal, remember? Fate's whore?" Jessica spun around and headed to the lift.

"It doesn't have to be like this," Luii said, calming down.

"Commander Frej, make sure that the Voyager captain and her chief engineer get their full tour, please."

"Where are you going?" Kathryn asked.

"Rescue my zhanal." Jessica answered as she stepped into the lift.

"Not alone, you're not," B'Elanna said, running past the doors before they slid shut, leaving Janeway on the bridge, alone. She turned to Luii.

"I am sorry, Captain Janeway. I wish that could have been avoided." He apologized, bowing his head to her. She returned the gesture, slightly.

"Who is this member of Starfleet that they are going to rescue?"

"Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax. A Trill woman that Jessica met at Starfleet Academy before she was Joined. As most of Jessica's zhanals, she bonded with Jessica to save her life. Jadzia had yet to be issued a post or a symbiont and was on Earth, awaiting assignment. From what I've heard, they were wild and it was the only thing that kept Jessica sane between all the work she had to do with a quadruple load on her shoulders."

"Something would have to," Janeway agreed, "Where is she?"

"A Vorchen slaving ship, about one parsec from Shaola. If Jessica takes less than three days to rescue her, she'll meet us as we reach the homeworld."

"I suppose there's no way we can stop them?" Luii shook his head and Kathryn sighed. The last thing she wanted was to lose B'Elanna, now that she had finally started getting to know the woman. She looked up at Luii and said, "You know, your queen is a bad influence on my new Chief Engineer."

"I wish I could say that you were wrong."

_**To be continued…**_


	17. Fairy tales of yesterday

Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 15 title is from "Show Must Go On" by Queen

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

**Home, Chapter 15**

_Fairy tales of yesterday, that grow but never die..._

_Present: April, 2379..._

B'Elanna rounded the corner on her way to her quarters and immediately wished she'd taken a site to site transport. Seven had Harry pinned up against the wall and they were making out in the same way she and Tom had at the beginning of their relationship.

She derived some twisted pleasure from thinking 'Well, Tom and I were doomed..." Then she mentally berated herself as she wished that she was blind, deaf and without the ability to smell.

"Get a room," she growled as she walked past her groping crewmates. They seemed to ignore her, but as she walked by, she could have sworn one of them touched her derriere. She looked behind her for a second and then dismissed it as her imagination. …

The ship was a derelict. But Captain Janeway just couldn't bring herself to call it that. The design was gorgeous—deep blue-stained metal gleamed from the light of the nearby white dwarf star, except where velvet-black scorches outlined the rips in the hull. It was designed like a sleek dragon, with wings that spread in Klingon fashion away from the main body of the ship. The prow was shaped into a dragon's head, with windows for eyes and a torpedo bay for a mouth.

It was the Dracco, the flagship of the Shashan Empire. Years from home, it had been attacked and left adrift in the cold, unforgiving vacuum of space. Janeway couldn't imagine what they were doing out this far. But she intended to find out.

"It's just like the others we've encountered, Captain. Hit by the same weapons that destroyed the Crochak." Harry announced.

"Damn. The Lenari didn't even know who those weapons belonged to." Janeway stood and walked towards the viewscreen as though she could see the signature of whoever had attacked them, scrawled into the hull. "There is one notable difference between this and the other eight vessels we've encountered."

"Yeah. They're in one piece," Spacey said from her place at the helm. Janeway looked at her, a little surprised. Spacey was so quiet usually that Kathryn wasn't always sure that she knew what was going on.

"Are there any survivors?" Kathryn asked.

"I am unable to establish that information," Seven replied from her station. Janeway turned to watch her scan the data streaming before her eyes. "There is an unknown radiation residue present from the weapons that is blocking sensors." Seven looked up. "I may be able to compensate, but only from Astrometrics."

"Do it," Janeway ordered and Seven nodded.

"Well," Chakotay said. "You can't say that the Shashans don't build their ships tough." Seven heard this as the doors to the lift closed. If anyone had been looking at her, they would have seen the horror flood into her eyes.

_Past... _

Kathryn paced back and forth, almost going out of her mind with worry. They were less than an hour from Shaola and Jessica and B'Elanna hadn't come back.

"Their transmission was highly encrypted and hidden, but it was obvious that she said they would be here before we reached the Homeworld," Luii said, not sounding greatly pleased himself. His eyes were flickering a pale orange, which Janeway had learned through study meant lesser fear or worry. They kept sliding back to his own blue-green, then flaring again, as if he was too distracted to control their vicissitude.

"Then where the hell are they?" Kathryn growled, masking her fear that she may have lost her new Chief Engineer—a woman she was just learning to respect and trust.

"Jessica is very literal, Captain," Tarrel answered. "When she says before we get there, she means exactly that. She doesn't know how long before, it could be as short a period as a few minutes. But if she says she'll be here, come fire or flood, she'll be here." Kathryn chuckled lightly and Luii looked at her.

"I'm sorry—that's just so close to a saying that we have on Earth: 'come hell or high water.' I find it interesting how close 'words of wisdom' are from culture to culture."

"It validates their plausibility, does it not?" Kathryn nodded and returned to glaring at the shuttle bay, with its painfully empty space.

"Captain Tarrel, vessel on intercept. Shuttle Rajjal. The Queen is returned."

"Thank you, Shia, Tarrel out. Well, Captain Janeway, our people return to us." Kathryn nodded and watched as the massive bay doors  
opened. …

"We're back," Jessica said, hopping out of the shuttle to be greeted by Janeway, Tarrel and Harry Kim, who had just shown up.

"That didn't take long," Kathryn commented, hiding her irritation. She need not have bothered, it seemed, since Jessica was so stimulated she appeared to be oblivious to criticism.

"Nah, it was easy."

"You call that easy?" B'Elanna growled, stepping out of the shuttle and nursing a black eye. Kathryn gaped for a moment.

"We're here, aren't we? Neither of us dead?" Jessica said, almost bouncing from her excess energy.

"Where's the person you were going to rescue?" Janeway asked as Jessica closed the hatch to the shuttle.

"Back home, safe and sound."

"What? How did they get her from the Alpha quadrant? How did you get her back?" Kathryn blurted.

"Those Vorchen know every trick, wormhole, and technological system there is for going fast. They just popped over to the Gamma quadrant—took 'em a couple days—then through the wormhole to Bajor and snatched her right up. They've got some nasty technology, including this one, that folds space—"

"Isn't that what you do when you, er, space-shift?" Jessica shrugged at the captain's question.

"Well, no. Not exactly. You see, their version is basically certain death. What I do isn't dangerous, although it makes me shed ten times as much as any other Shashan—"

"Shed?"

"And besides that, the equations... they," Jessica bit her lip and screwed up her face in concentration. She opened her mouth several times, started to speak, looked worried, bit her lip harder and stopped. Harry slung his arm around her shoulder.

"This is why you nearly flunked Astronav." Jessica started to nod, realized that she was being teased and shoved Harry away, who laughed.

"Shut up!" She said, pouting. Then she resumed her worried look and bit her lip again, obviously still trying to answer Kathryn's question. Biting back a laugh, Janeway tried to ease the girl's mind.

"It's okay. I don't need to know that badly."

"You sure?" Jessica asked, looking up, her eyes unchanging. Kathryn nodded and she sighed. "Good. It's the same reason I couldn't be an engineer, either. I could take something apart that wasn't working, put it back together so it worked, but there were always parts left and I couldn't show my work, so I never got high marks. They put too many parts in gadgets, anyway." Kathryn wondered when the girl breathed; she was so hyper.

"So how did you get her back to the Alpha Quadrant?" Kathryn asked again.

"I took her myself. Deposited her in her quarters and came back." An idea began forming in Kathryn's mind and Jessica glared at her. "Don't even think about it. Do you know what it takes to move just one person along with myself? Right now, I can't even move myself because of it." Jessica scratched at her shoulder. "And I think I'm going to lose skin over it."

"Is that a Shahsan expression or a literalism?" Kathryn asked.

"Literal," Harry and B'Elanna answered in unison, both looking vaguely amused. "You should've seen her squirming in class," Harry said to B'Elanna.

"Before I met her, I just considered itching so bad you wanted to scratch your skin off as being a flight of fancy." B'Elanna agreed.

"Are you mocking me?" Jessica asked, fluffing her short, wild hair.

"Now who would do a thing like that?" B'Elanna asked.

"It's good to have you back," Kathryn interrupted, smiling at B'Elanna. B'Elanna blushed a little.

"Isn't it though?" Jessica asked, beaming.

"She was talking about me, you little egomaniac," B'Elanna growled.

"So was I," Jessica said, hugging B'Elanna from the side. B'Elanna blushed even more deeply and peeled the much shorter girl off her hip, but  
remained touching. Kathryn had learned that this was common for Shashans—to be in constant physical contact, due to the species' monophobia.

"Not to break up this little reunion, but we'll be arriving on the planet shortly. You might want to make preparations to your ship, Captain, for planetfall."

"Thank you, Captain Tarrel, I'll do that at once." Janeway nodded to B'Elanna and Harry, who followed her from the bay to the transport room.

_ Present...  
_

"I called you in here to discuss this away mission. We can't penetrate the Shashan dampening field, to determine if anyone is still alive. So I'm going to send an away team. I'm looking for volunteers, since there is a very real chance of danger, should the assailants return or the ship explode from the massive amount of damage it has sustained. Seven—"

"I will not volunteer, Captain and I ask that you not force me," she said, coldly. B'Elanna looked at the stiff blonde, whose ordinarily calm demeanor was slightly frayed and her discomfiture showed plainly. B'Elanna noticed that Harry was also staring.

"I was merely going to ask you if you would monitor the team while they are on the ship. As I said, this is volunteer only. We have one position left unfilled; the team requires a command officer.

"Captain, please... let me go on this mission." B'Elanna said, her eyes pleading. "If there's any chance..." Kathryn nodded slowly.

"You'll be in charge of the mission—" Kathryn began.

"I want to go, too, Captain." Kathryn looked at Harry, her lips pursed, then nodded again.

"The junior officers accompanying you should be here momentarily. Those who are not participating in this mission are excused." Chakotay, Tuvok, the Doctor and Neelix stood and left the briefing room. As they left, two crewmen and Ensign Kyote entered the room, taking places around the table. "B'Elanna," Janeway said, nodding to the Chief Engineer, who stood and walked to the head of the table as the captain sat down.

"See this?" she asked everyone, holding up a reddish-brown square. "It's called a viridium patch. They aren't used much, and only when discretion is necessary, as they are virtually undetectable. Say you're planning to rescue someone, but they can't wear a commbadge, or where they're going, a commbadge won't help. Or in places with dampening fields or high interference, then you'd slap one of these on them—it would just look like a stain.

"Then that person is detectable for two sectors, or more if the interference isn't too bad. In this case, it will allow Voyager to keep a lock on us while we're over there, in the dampening field. Our commbadges won't work, however, so it'll be a timed beam-out. We'll each wear one, on the shoulders of our uniform jackets. Don't worry about removal, once it's on, it won't come off. That means, you lose that jacket. I'm sorry, but clothes are irrelevant," B'Elanna shot a smirk at Seven, "in comparison to the possibility of saving a few lives.

"There's no telling what we'll find over there. If we're attacked, we'll have to hold our own until Voyager beams us back. Seven of Nine will keep an eye on us while we're there. If a patch is ruptured, it will fail to function and the person it is attached to will be lost. Also, if a biosignature disappears, our ops officer will perform an emergency beam-out. Are there any questions?" B'Elanna looked around the room, making it apparent that she felt her briefing was thorough and that no one should be confused.

Kathryn looked around and, seeing that nobody seemed to be in need of any further explanation, she stood and nodded to B'Elanna.

"Well, there you have it. Your mission is to find any survivors and bring them back to the transport site, in the area without dampening fields, located on Deck 8, section 32. One room, where you can contact Voyager and where we can detect you. I hope you now understand the dangers you're facing and if any of you wish to reconsider, it would be understood."

"With all due respect, Captain," Kyote spoke up, the two crewmen looking at her, "I don't think any of us thought this would be easy, but we all had our reasons for volunteering and none of us are going to back out now." The crewmen nodded their heads in agreement and Kathryn smiled.

"Alright, but you all need to be careful. There's so much damage to the Dracco that I'm afraid it could explode at any moment. Also, there's the possibility that this is a trap of some sort and whoever did this may be on that ship."

"Yes, Ma'am," the said in unison. Kathryn smiled at her crew, feeling her heart swell with pride.

"The mission will commence in one hour. Report to Lt. Torres for your patch. Dismissed."

They stood, turned and headed for the doors, Seven of Nine bringing up the rear. As soon as they passed the doors, Seven grabbed Harry and pulled him off to the side.

"Why were you so intent on visiting that ship?" Seven asked, making a face as though she was saying a dirty word.

"Because... there may be a friend of mine over there." Harry said quietly.

"A friend? In the Delta Quadrant? On that ship?" Harry frowned at the way Seven managed to make each question sound like an accusation.

"Yeah, I've known her for years—" Seven's ocular implant rose sharply.

"Her? By all means, Harry, join the team. They are waiting for you." She turned and walked away before she was finished talking.

"What's wrong with you?" Harry shot after her, but she just kept walking.

"Harry?" B'Elanna asked. Harry shook his head and looked at B'Elanna.

"Yeah?" he responded. B'Elanna looked like she wanted to say something, desperately, but she suddenly shook her head.

"Never mind." B'Elanna muttered. Harry watched B'Elanna walk away, a pang of guilt shooting through him, mixing with the confusion towards the two most important women in his life.

"Women," he muttered and he looked to his right, almost expecting to see Tom standing there, echoing the sentiment. His throat swelled shut with emotion at the loss of his best friend, now months behind him but still somehow fresh. He shook it off and walked forward, brooding in silence, concentrating solely on the mission ahead. …

In Astrometrics, Seven shook in solitude, mingling emotions driving her to distraction. No one was there to witness her losing control, verging on a terrified breakdown.

_Past… _

Voyager slowly descended, in Blue Alert, to the large, blue and green planet below. They were setting down in a green valley nestled into almost red mountains, where a maintenance crew awaited their arrival. The Dracco had remained in orbit, Jessica planning to space-shift down. Voyager set down lightly on her landing struts, planetfall a success.

The crew filed out of the ship, eager for the shore leave. Kathryn saw Jessica talking to a group of herdsmen, who were leading large, single-horned equines. Kathryn stopped short at the sea of unicorns, all different colors. She saw a solid black stallion next to Jessica, pawing the ground, the only unsaddled beast in the lot. None of the animals wore bridles.

Kathryn walked forward, amidst her curious crewmembers, each of which had been assigned a copy of the laws and regulations of Shashan society. B'Elanna was eyeing the steeds warily. As they approached Jessica, she was the first to speak.

"You've got to be kidding." B'Elanna glared at the greenbroke stallion as he reared and sliced his thirteen-inch horn in an angry arc through the air. The crewman approaching him backed up quickly. Jessica looked amused.

"Don't worry about him, he's mine. I'm the only one he'll let ride, but he won't hurt anyone either. He'll just scare 'em away or toss 'em on their butt. Thunder!" she barked and the stallion trotted up to her, nuzzling her shoulder with his mouth.

"They're... big." B'Elanna complained.

"The biggest among them is no larger than an Earth Thoroughbred, the average size is about that of an Arabian, maybe seventeen hands high. But don't worry, you're riding First Snow, who's one of the smallest of the lot." Jessica whistled and a small, pure white horse, with a silver-blonde mane and white horn came trotting up. Her shoulder was at Jessica's head, making her about fourteen hands high. She was saddled, but like the others, wore no bridle.

"I've never seen any of those horses you're talking about, because I've never seen a real horse before. And isn't something missing?" B'Elanna asked, still eyeing the long-lashed unicorn with suspicion.

"She doesn't bite, B'Elanna. She's the gentlest unicorn I have."

"Is this entire herd yours?" Kathryn asked. Jessica laughed.

"No. Only four are mine. Unicorns prefer a one to one ratio, but in my case, for some reason, they made an exception. Well, Storm, Lightning and Thunder—yes, I'm so original, I know—chose me. Lightning—that silver one with the gold streak in her horn—birthed First Snow. Thunder made Storm foal twice now, but both wandered off. We let them run free because they are too wild to be penned up. But they let us round them up for transports now and then."

"Wow," Kathryn said, stroking the muzzle of Lightning, who had come when she heard her name. Jessica was smiling. "What?"

"You're riding her. Chakotay, you get Storm." Chakotay had wandered over during the discussion and looked around. Jessica whistled and there was an immediate commotion. A wild mare came flying towards them. Her dark body looked like captured storm clouds and her black mane and tail were streaked with white. Her silver horn gleamed in the sunlight as she approached, slowing down.

"You want me to ride her?" He asked, incredulously. She flung her mane and stamped the ground impatiently, brushing him aside to get to Jessica.

"Well I did, but you just insulted her, so it's not likely she'll let you. She's as vain as they come, aren't you, beauty?" Jessica crooned, stroking the velvety muzzle. Kathryn walked to the left of her horse and grabbed the horn of the saddle to pull herself up. She looked in front of herself as soon as she was up there and wondered how she was going to hold on. She put her hands on either side of the great neck and wondered how she wasn't already off-balance.

"I'll ride her," Harry said, referring to Storm. Storm looked at Harry and snorted. She rolled her eyes back at Jessica and the girl gave her a fond pat. Storm walked up to Harry and Janeway could almost swear the beast was laughing. "Are you laughing at me?" Harry asked her and Storm tossed her head. "Well cut it out, I've never ridden before." There was no way that the whinny the animal produced then could be taken as anything less than a laugh.

"She likes you, Harry," Jessica said, her eyes twinkling.

"Good," Harry said. "Because she's the prettiest one of these beauties that I see here." Storm dropped to her knees and Harry grinned.

"Guess I said something right," he laughed as he climbed onto her back. She stood once he was secure. "Um, how do I hold on?"

"Wind your fingers in her mane. Don't pull harder than you have too, but they're too wild for bridles."

"You don't hang onto this thing?" B'Elanna asked, pointing to the saddle horn. Jessica shook her head and B'Elanna frowned again. "I knew there was something missing."

"There you are!" A voice called. Janeway looked down at a Klingon girl of about eighteen or nineteen and wondered how she'd gotten there.   
"Hi Kashana. Captain, this is my Wayyana, Kashana." Jessica giggled.

"It's not funny," Kashana said, frowning. "Although right now I want to kill my mother."

"Aerianna? You look like her, you know." Jessica said, cocking her head.

"As you do to Elizabeth. The Mawn Ambassador wishes to re-negotiate the treaty and will be arriving in five hours." Jessica turned to Kathryn.

"A Wayyana is the head of the Council, my royal advisor. It's the highest position one can have when not married to the Queen." Janeway nodded, recalling some of the information she had assimilated in the past few days. Jessica grabbed Thunder's forelock and gently pulled down, coaxing him to kneel so she could mount.

As soon as she was on, he reared and bucked a few times, then settled down. Jessica seemed unaffected as the crazy stallion rushed about in a frenzy. She just rolled with his body, despite not having so much as a saddle to hold onto. She noticed the look Kathryn was giving her and she steered Thunder to step up next to Lightning.

"They're special animals. They won't let you fall unless they think it's in your best interest. Although Thunder here would toss anyone who wasn't me," Jessica added with a wink and a grin.

"Dragon coming!" someone yelled and Jessica's grin immediately vanished.

"Get down, get away from the unicorns now," Jessica said and Kathryn and Harry immediately slid to the ground. "No matter what happens, nobody move and no one will be hurt!" Jessica screamed into the remaining crowd, who were sliding off their beasts under the direction of the Shashan men and women who had been helping them. One group had already left for the city.

Jessica dismounted and slapped Thunder gently on the flank. He trotted off and began helping Storm round up the stragglers that were panicking as a huge, iridescent white dragon filled the sky. Kathryn froze, as she was instructed and barely breathed as a sea of frightened unicorn bodies streamed past her.

The dragon's ninety-meter wingspan stirred up a breeze as they beat furiously, allowing the beast to descend. It was forty meters, shoulder to tail tip and the neck and head added another five. Fifteen meters high at the shoulder, it was an impressive sight to behold. The long tail thrashed behind it, scattering insects and lightweight plants to the wind. But what frightened Kathryn were the red, glowing eyes.   
If these beasts had the same characteristics as the Shashan humanoids, then red meant angry. She sure as hell didn't want the beast angry at her.

"T'mii!" Jessica yelled and the beast swung its beautiful, smooth head towards her. Kathryn couldn't help but notice it wasn't the hideous head of an earth-rendering, but beautiful and gentle looking, now that the eyes had changed to the dark blue of contentment. Jessica walked up to the head, which was much larger than she, the top of the snout on level with her shoulder.

Jessica flung herself across the snout in a hug and Kathryn could swear that the giant animal was purring. Then its rolling eyes stopped on Chakotay and the purr turned into an unmistakable growl that Kathryn could feel in her stomach. Jessica slapped the snout.

"You stop that, T'mii! Be nice." T'mii looked at Jessica and Jessica's expression softened. "I know. How is your clutch? Are the eggs hardening correctly?" The beast snorted and rolled her eyes at Chakotay again.

"Why is she so angry with me?" Chakotay asked.

"Well, I bonded with her when she hatched, so our minds are joined, like zhanals, only in a more primitive standing. She was egg-heavy when you... upset me. When I went into labor, it forced her to clutch prematurely." T'mii bugled deeply, her eyes returning to red. Chakotay looked at the animal.

"My apologies, then. It was not my intention to harm you or your rider. How are your eggs?" T'mii looked at him suspiciously, but she made a throaty vocalization.

"She says that they are slow to harden, but undamaged. And you're not invited to the hatching ceremony," Jessica said, a twinkle in her eye, and then turned to Kathryn. "You are looking at the result of a difficult quest I underwent to repopulate our extinct ancestors," Jessica said,  
looking smug.

"Dangerous and foolhardy, more like it. Not to mention pointless," Kashana fumed. "I mean, there's plenty to eat and all, even for them." She chucked a thumb at T'mii, who snorted. "But Jessica only brought them back because she is under the impression that it is impressive to have animals from legend alive in our present. I say there's a reason they died out."

"Yeah, an alien that accidentally polluted our atmosphere with her presence and brought disease to the beasts," Jessica said, patting her dragon on her muzzle. The dragon brought around one hand and gently pressed a webbed finger against Jessica's back in a hug. Jessica smiled and kissed the great nose. "Killed the unicorns too, although it took an extra ten thousand years, since she left as soon as she realized what she had done and the unicorns had the sense to breed with the horses." Kathryn looked confusedly from Kashana to Jessica. Kashana was absently nodding.

"Nothing wrong with unicorns, they're wonderful beasts."

"Do they breathe fire? The dragons, I mean." Tom asked, looking excited.

"Don't be silly. I can't breathe fire, so why should they be able to?" Kashana answered, rolling her eyes.

"You can't fly either," Tom retorted, earning a glare from the Klingon-looking girl. "I've never seen a dragon before." Tom looked at the gentle giant with wonder.

"Then you've never been to Berengaria VII. It's in the Alpha Quadrant." Jessica said, scratching T'mii's eyebrow ridge.

"What happened to the dragons, exactly?" Tom asked.

"The disease caused the male dragons to all die off, right away. The females that survived could only lay unfertilized eggs, of course. They began nesting in these swamps, across the planet. Well, the swamps were basically primordial soup and the eggs hatched all over, these bastard dragons. Quadrapedal, tailed, and with many more colours than the original nine. Eventually we evolved, over thousands of years, into what you see today."

"But you're mammals," Tom protested. "I mean, you've got breasts, even in Shashan form."

"T'mii has mammary glands," Jessica said. She looked at the dragon and she turned to them, exposing her chest. As she walked, the ground shook from the weight. Jessica pushed back one of the belly folds and a huge teat, the size of an arm emerged. "The original Shashans had six breasts, and litters. Multiple births, though common, are not anywhere near as common as they used to be. And obviously, we've lost the extra breasts."

"But this is all speculation, right?" Kathryn asked. Jessica shook her head as she released the dragon.

"The legends have been passed from mind to mind for over a million years. And when Q was playing with me, he allowed me to live the life of the first Shashan, who we call Shasha. Although her name was actually pronounced closer to Zkhay'ya." Jessica purred the name, reminding Kathryn that Shashans had three separate sets of vocal cords, which was the reason that their formal language was untranslatable. "So I know that the legends are true, though a little distorted by time."

"It must be great knowing your actual history," Chakotay said quietly.

"With humans, history is written by the victors. With Shashans, it's transferred from mind to mind, for memories don't lie. But this is all available through our historical documents, come on, let us visit the city." Jessica gave her dragon a stern look. "You can't space-shift back, especially not after laying eggs. You fly back, and please give us a wide berth so you don't scare our mounts." T'mii made a sound that sounded like a harrumph and leapt into the sky, taking flight.

The handlers brought the unicorns back and everyone mounted up again. The command crew was in Jessica's group and they waited behind until all the other groups had already left. Jessica, on Thunder, pranced around like they didn't know how to stand still, running circles around the rest of the group, whose animals were unimpressed. Kathryn looked at B'Elanna, who was pale and clutching the mane of her unicorn like a lifeline. The equine simply stood, patiently awaiting the cue to head home.

Suddenly, Luii appeared, earning a grin from Jessica and a disapproving look from Kashana.

"Luii!" Jessica cried, dismounting. He smiled and walked up to her to give her a hug.

"We're setting off soon, but we'll be back in a few hours. We're being chartered to carry Ambassador Rellijk of Mawnwar. I was hoping to catch you in scales," he said with a wink.

"You show me yours, I'll show you mine," Jessica said, waggling her eyebrows. Luii grinned, but he looked away. Suddenly Jessica's expression grew serious. "Oh, come on, you don't think I actually believe that Dræçeyn was your father, do you? He wouldn't beat you like he did if he were." Luii looked shocked, then smiled mirthlessly.

"You know that he hates me because I wasn't born a girl, Jess. I don't have to be a bastard like you to have earned his fist," he countered.

"And you wouldn't have spent your whole life in human form if you weren't hiding your color," she continued, ignoring his defense. "Besides, Skrenÿi was never known to be in love with your 'father.' And Dræçeyn was always rumored to be impotent." Luii shook his head.

"You first. I've never seen you in full form."

"Fair enough," Jessica said, and a moment later, she matched her dragon. Kathryn's jaw dropped at the beauty of the opalescent, smooth white scales, glimmering in the sunlight. Jessica's short brown hair didn't seem to match, somehow and the black spots were a stark contrast, as were her black claws. Luii was obviously gaping as well, then he fulfilled his part of the bargain.

"Promise me you won't tell," he said as he stood in his full Shashan splendor. His black scales shimmered with the rainbow hue that Janeway remembered only belonged to the top five houses. His eyes shone his natural green and his black hair disappeared against his skin. His spots were bright red and the mark on his neck was what looked like a winged horse.

"Holy shit, Ryn is your father?" Luii nodded and changed back to his human form. Jess changed as well. "Your secret's safe with me," she said, nodding to him. He smiled back. They stood there for a moment, neither speaking, then Luii walked slowly towards Jessica. Kathryn saw his eyes change to blue-violet, the color of Shashan passion, then his hand changed, claws extended, and it sailed across her left cheek, quick as lightning.

Jessica's head turned with the blow, her hand flying up to meet the wound, but Luii had disappeared by the time her face lifted. Kathryn saw the red scratches down her face: three jagged lines. Jessica's eyes were glowing violet. Kashana jumped down from her unicorn, looking enraged.

"I'll have him brought back, your majesty, immediately. Imagine, marking you like a common—"

"That'll be enough, Wayyana," Jessica snapped. Kashana looked at Jessica in shock. "Give him his week. If he doesn't show up by this time next week, then I'll hunt him down myself."

"Your highness!" Kashana roared.

"No, Kashana." Jessica turned to her. "I know that you are looking out for my honor, but leave that to me. Who among us doesn't want to be marked?" Kashana glowered.

"It's barbaric."

"Exactly. Someone claiming me." Jessica gave Kashana a meaningful look and the Wayyana sighed.

"At least remove the mark..." Kashana looked at Jessica and sighed again. "I suppose that would be too much to ask. But what would your mother think?"

"My mother's dead, Kash, just like yours. But I think that she would find it romantic, like that tale from the Queens era, where the princess is marked by a commoner and she defiantly wears it, he comes for her—"

"And the Queen kills him," Kashana interrupted. "And then the princess kills herself, destroying the family, since she was the only heir."

"Yes, but they marry first and get to spend their last night in each others' arms, you spoilsport. A Queen has never been marked, even in literature." Jessica convinced Thunder to lean down so she could vault onto his back again. The Wayyana remounted as well.

"You should listen to me, I'm older." Jessica laughed.

"By three years! Besides, it's my life and I've only got a short while to live it. Let me enjoy that time." There was nothing to do then but wait. The other groups had all gone ahead and now everyone waited for the signal to begin their journey.

Finally, it came as Jessica let out what was almost a war cry, making all the beasts jump to attention. Thunder shot off and the other steeds followed obediently behind. Kathryn took a moment to find the correct position to prevent her bottom from being pummeled. They galloped headlong towards the main city of Shaola, everyone desperately curious as to what lay ahead.

_**To be continued…**_


	18. You come apart, just to intertwine

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 16 title is from "Daphne Descends" by Smashing Pumpkins. B'Elanna's song is from "Home" by Staind._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7  
Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

* * *

**Home, Chapter 16**_  
You come apart, just to intertwine..._

* * *

_Present... _

" 'I'm afraid to be alone, afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone,' " B'Elanna sang quietly. Harry looked over at her and caught her eye. He felt her hand in his for a moment as he reached out and he squeezed it reassuringly.

"If she's here, we'll find her." Harry whispered in the dark room. The lights flickered, fighting for a moment more of life. Debris littered the ground, heavy and obstructing. B'Elanna moved the huge beams away, digging through the scattered consoles and ruptured bulkheads, the stars her backdrop through the torn hull, safe from the vacuum thanks only to a buzzing forcefield. The humming of the barrier was little comfort in a section of the ship that was losing power fast. They worked quickly, trying to find any bodies.

That's when Harry saw it. A long, brown arm stretched out from under a piece of the ruined viewscreen. He clasped the masculine hand and pulled carefully, watching the debris shift around, dislodging a chair that had somehow been buried into the wall. It came crashing down to hit him painfully in the arm. He shoved it away, ignoring the bruise swelling up almost immediately from the impact and pulled the body from the junk pile.

He felt for a pulse, but he knew from touching the cold flesh that he wouldn't find one. He felt a surge of frustration and released the Shashan man, who sifted back into his burial place.

"I've found a kid!" Crewman Davis yelled. B'Elanna looked up briefly, and then resumed chasing after the spot of white she saw underneath an extremely heavy piece of hull. "She's alive!" Davis said, excited and Harry yelled in triumph as he found a living woman, although she was barely alive and buried so deeply that he couldn't free her from her prison.

The hull fragment moved, slid off the white body and B'Elanna shouted.

_Past  
_...

The animal moved beneath Kathryn like water. She had been riding for an hour now, but she didn't feel it at all. She wondered about her steed as she watched the gold-streaked horn in front of her bob up and down while she galloped along at a breakneck speed. She looked over at Jessica, atop the black force of nature, pacing her incredibly swift mount with difficulty. Sweat gleamed on his dark hide and Jessica was pressed flat against his neck, her hands somehow clutching his mane.

Kathryn noticed for the first time that the other unicorns weren't able to keep up with them and they had a huge lead. Suddenly, a golden unicorn appeared in front of them, a stallion carrying a brown-haired boy about Jessica's age. He turned his unicorn and rode ahead of them. The two fleet-footed beasts quickly outpaced the slower, bulkier animal.

Kathryn watched as the boy rode alongside Jessica's Thunder and stood on the back of his stallion, holding onto the mane for only a moment before he abandoned his perch and the relieved unicorn broke away from the group, going his own way. The boy settled easily behind Jessica, his arms wrapped around the shorter rider. Thunder bucked once, but for the most part ignored his new passenger.

Kathryn looked forward again just as a city sprung into view past the emerald grass. Rising high into the pale mountain was a castle, carved from the very face with turrets peaked in white marble. Window glass seemed to be made of dozens of different jewels, glowing in the sunlight. Kathryn quickly closed her mouth for fear of wayward insects. Below the castle was a series of houses, all primitive in appearance, but brightly colored. The city was surrounded by a artfully carved stone wall, just beyond which was what looked like a marketplace, judging by the minuscule people bustling from tiny stall to stall. The bluest river Janeway had ever seen wound its way around the city, passing through it in the form of a small stream into a glittering lake.

'I've stepped into a fairy tale,' Kathryn thought, stunned. They returned to traveling downhill and Janeway lost sight of the beautiful city.

_Present  
... _

Harry helped B'Elanna carry the dirty body to the middle of the room. Jessica's snow-white hair, soft and tangled, dragged the floor as they carried her. The body slid bonelessly to the deck and both officers dropped down next to her, B'Elanna's fingers brushing the soft neck, feeling for a pulse. She moved her fingers from the cool neck to Jessica's lips. B'Elanna looked up and met Harry's eyes.

"She's breathing and her pulse is strong," she told him. He let out a breath he didn't know that he was holding.

"I think we've found all the people we're going to and our time is almost up," Kyote reported. B'Elanna nodded.

"All right, everybody. Grab someone and get down to the beam out site." B'Elanna scooped Jessica up into her arms, almost sick at how light and frail the bleached body felt. The long mane dragged on the ground and she quickly pulled as much of it up as she could. Harry looked down at the woman he had been trying to rescue and suddenly came up with an idea.

He took off his jacket and tucked it around her shoulders. B'Elanna grinned at him and motioned with her head towards the grey male that Kyote was having trouble dragging by herself. Harry grabbed the left arm of the man and they carried him slung over their shoulders from the demolished bridge.

_Past  
... _

"This is Benden," Jessica was saying as they slowed to a stop in front of the city gates. Kathryn looked at the boy who was nursing a bruise from being tossed unceremoniously off a miffed Thunder. He had a ready smile for her, his expression clear and young. Bright blue eyes blinked from behind a long, wild brown mane and he pulled his hair away from his face.

"Hello," he said in a soft tenor, a slight break indicating that his voice was changing, but he masked it fairly well. Kathryn had noticed that Shashans had a tendency to be soft-spoken, especially the males.

"Benden is King and my second husband. He handles things while I'm away." Benden inclined his head to the group, and then turned to Jessica, staring at the wound on her cheek with barely masked anger.

"Tarrel brought Mary-Jane to the castle earlier," he told her, quietly. "And I assume that Kashana has briefed you on events of State. But may I please speak with you a moment in private?" Benden stood slightly away from Jessica, looking distractedly at the mark on the queen's face.

"Excuse us?" Jessica asked Janeway, who nodded. Kathryn watched the unicorns running off into the hills and marveled at the scenery as the orange Shashan sun sunk behind the mountains in the distance, the sky painted with rich, vibrant blues, reds, violet and orange, more beautiful than any painting she had ever seen. She watched a group of children playing in the dirt street with some sort of puzzle the same size as they were. They were naked, except for loincloths, which was more than most of the adults wore.

A rush of hot air, accompanied by a flash of light caught her attention and she looked over at a small group of women street performers. Their bodies were clad in nothing more than that of the children in the street, unless one counted various pieces of metal, pierced artistically over their bodies, or the rainbow of paint that covered the upper body of the pale gold girl whose blood-red hair was teased into dozens of tiny braids and cut to her jaw line. She appeared to be the youngest in the group, although it was hard to tell since Shashans aged without wrinkles. According to her research, the color washed out of their hair and claws until finally their eyes turned white and they died.

Janeway couldn't help but think that sounded preferable to having one's skin become loose and wrinkled. As she watched the three women, one red with green hair and the other pale blue with darker blue hair, they dunked their heads into a nearby barrel of water. All had their hair tightly bound away from their faces, except the gold one with her braids. They moved their bodies like exotic dancers and were in constant contact with each other, not breaking it for even a second.

Kathryn could hear music from a stage that she couldn't see, fast and pounding, with a group of harmonizing females singing in what sounded like Federation Standard, but Kathryn couldn't make out the words. Janeway finally tracked the source of the flash and heat as one of the girls blew fire into the air, seemingly from her palm.

"They're firedancers," Jessica told Kathryn, who jumped and spun, having been completely engrossed in the spectacle and didn't notice the girl's silent approach.

"What?" Janeway asked and Jessica's blue eyes flashed violet a moment as she watched the group, so brief that if Kathryn had blinked, she would have missed it. "What's a firedancer?"

"Come," Jessica said, grabbing Kathryn by the hand and leading her to stand in front of the three women. "Those are firedancers. They manipulate fire with their minds and dance in it, watch." Sure enough, the red Shashan was dancing slowly, waving her hands around her body, pouring fire like water around herself. "It's a fairly rare talent and only occurs in females. For some reason, men don't have the mental discipline to do it. But it's not really so uncommon, most cities have at least one. Often, they're thought of as disgraced, since many have to cut their hair or have it burned off."

"Please disgrace not our art," the red woman said as she ducked her hands into the barrel, extinguishing the flames. Her eyes were as green as her hair and they flashed slightly in anger. The gold one walked up to her, draping her taller body around her companion sensually, and spoke in a husky voice.

"She speaks of art as science, but it is an art we share, Lel."

"Fire calls the queen, but does she answer?" came the melodic voice of the third, who sat at the feet of the other two and leaned against them.

"Methinks she does, Anara. And you Dwen?" Lel answered.

"They also tend to be poets, emphasizing their exotic aspect," Jessica said to Kathryn, ignoring the words of the three.

"What do they mean, fire calls you?" Kathryn asked. Jessica licked her lips and looked at the bowl the three had set up, in which a fire burned quietly.

"They can sense that I can dance." Jessica said, almost so quiet that Kathryn couldn't hear. "It's like the way some of us can reflect and absorb electricity or phased energy, and store it to deliver a shock like I did with that dog."

"Dance for us."

"If only once." The three looked at Jessica, pleading and rubbing against each other, a little too close for Kathryn's comfort. B'Elanna looked at Jessica, amused.

"Come on, Jess, dance for us," she teased and Jessica shot her a look that could have meant anything. Jessica walked aggressively towards the dancers and they reached out to touch her briefly before parting so she could walk to the barrel of water, stripping her short, blousy shirt off and shifting to her Shashan form. The Queen plunged her head and arms into the barrel and then threw her head back, slicking her short curls flat to her head with her hands. She turned and stalked over to the torch and buried her hands in the flame.

The music gained an eerie quality as she came up from the bowl of fire, dribbling the flame like water from her hands. Suddenly there was a blast of sound and she began moving. Kathryn had seen a holovid on Orion slave women once and Jessica looked like one of the girls, aflame. Without the green skin. She seemed aware of every inch of her body and she sculpted the fire around her like an artist with a fountain. The girl moved to every beat, every rise or fall in tempo, even the very sounds of the women's voices.

Janeway stood, transfixed, for the few minutes of the dance, remembering vaguely the dance that Jessica had used to lure the assassins to her and finding the graceful dance clumsy in comparison to this. Jessica sculpted shapes in the air, weaving them with her hands and mind while her silver eyes flashed. As the music ended, Jessica began spinning so fast that it looked like she was engulfed in the blaze, then it shot into the air and she ended by crumpling into a graceful heap.

The streets exploded into applause and Jessica trotted over to the barrel and stuck her entire upper body in. She pulled out, shook off amidst the crowd of admirers, and then grabbed up her shirt, sliding it back on to cling to her damp skin.

"Now that you've seen the show, may we proceed to the castle?" Jessica asked, sweeping her hand out in front of her and smiling. Kathryn saw the pink tinge on the child-queen's palm and wondered if the dance burned her. The group, casting last glances at the firedancers as they began their own dance again, followed the young Shashan, now in Human form, to her home.

_Present  
... _

B'Elanna held Jessica's hand as the Doctor scanned her unconscious form, diagnosing her condition so he could treat her. B'Elanna looked at the white claws as she turned the hand over to look at the limp palm and see the thin lines from Blood Oaths Jessica had taken during her life.   
"You were a lot more Klingon than I ever was," B'Elanna whispered. Jessica gave no sign of hearing her. B'Elanna sifted through the snowy mane, looking for even one golden hair, but found none left. She bit back tears as she looked at her friend and cousin, roughly the equivalent of a ninety-some year-old human; and only twenty years old in reality.

"As I understand her condition," the EMH told B'Elanna, "Jessica is in the next to final stage of Vaggimort Syndrome. The final stage is a coma... then death."

"So you're saying that she's going to wake up? That she's not there yet?" B'Elanna looked, pleading, into the Doctor's holographic eyes.

"She'll wake up. She had a severe concussion, but I've treated that and as soon as she's ready, she'll wake up. As the last time I treated her, she's suffering from exhaustion and overexertion. She'll be fine. However, her daughter is suffering from severe cranial trauma."

"Daughter?" B'Elanna exclaimed, looking in the direction the doctor had wandered.

"Yes. Unless it's her niece. Did any of her sisters have children by the time they were twelve?"

B'Elanna shook her head. "How old is she?"

"Eight years. Her paternal genes would appear to be Klingon," he said. B'Elanna released Jessica and walked to the bed where the little girl lay. Indeed, she had small cranial ridges and her mother's eyes. Even closed, B'Elanna recognized the large, long-lashed shape of Jessica's eyes in her offspring.

"Alexandra," B'Elanna whispered, brushing an errant curl from the child's tan face. Her forehead was so cold to B'Elanna's hand that the half-Klingon grabbed the blanket and pulled it higher. "You look like your mother..."

_ Past  
_...

The next week flew by. Tom Paris was arrested for brawling and sentenced to two days solitary confinement and three days community service, where he gave piloting lessons to a group of teenage boys. B'Elanna spent half her time in the hot springs, the other half roaming the countryside with Jessica or Chakotay, taking in the sights and sounds of Shashan culture.

Kathryn spent her time in a similar way to B'Elanna, with a growing unease toward the end of the vacation that some of her people would choose to stay in the virtual paradise.

Three days after they arrived, Janeway observed Luii return and take B'Elanna and Jessica aside. They disappeared into one of the many rooms of the palace and when they returned, both looked as though something important had been lost. When she asked later, Kathryn found out that Luii had separated their minds—his particular mental talent.

Tuvok and Vorik asked to return to the ship after the first rainstorm to 'oversee repairs.' Kathryn knew that both were just uncomfortable with the moisture everywhere, although two entire days were spent without more than a morning mist. Janeway was just glad that the humidity didn't raise the temperature of the planet, which stayed comfortable the entire time they were there.

But something else nagged at the back of her mind as she learned about the history and sciences of Shaola. She tried to ignore it and mostly just enjoyed herself, especially the endless supply of coffees that were offered at every restaurant she visited. Jessica was footing the bill for all members of the Voyager crew, encouraging them to spend as much in the local shops as they could.

Kathryn noticed that the people loved Jessica. She attended weddings as a blessing, naming ceremonies and other various events by invitation, while playing hostess to her guests and dealing with political matters on several occasions. The Voyager captain wondered how the girl managed to do it all, but when she asked, Jessica merely responded with "I was born to do it."

On the day that Janeway was informed that repairs to Voyager were finished, she announced to her crew that the time had come to leave. All who were leaving should board Voyager by 06:30. At that time the next morning, she found her entire crew present and she felt incredibly proud at that moment, that they had chosen to stay with her and continue their voyage home. She told them to prepare for code blue and she went to say good-bye to Jessica and Shaola. The nagging thought finally rose to the surface, but she allowed her other questions to arise first.

"What I don't understand, is why the Vorchen attack you so much?" Kathryn asked Jessica as they walked through the castle, the Queen planning to escort Kathryn back to her ship. Jessica's look grew dark and she took a moment to answer.

"Our skin."

"Excuse me?" Kathryn looked at Jessica, wondering if she had heard correctly.

"Our skin, hides. Mine is particularly valuable on the 'black market.' Some beings would give a small moon for a pair of boots made out of my back." Kathryn blanched, completely horrified. "Weatherproof, strong and yet soft."

"Oh my god."

"Also, our claws." Jessica brandished hers, and Kathryn flinched at the sound of the black metal grinding against bone. They came out a full eight centimeters. "Adamantium, the hardest substance known to this galaxy. Also the rarest because it's a biological metal. We're the only known race that contains it. One problem with it, though." Kathryn almost didn't ask.

"What is it?" Curiosity had won out.

"When we die, it becomes brittle and turns to dust. Also, if the hand or finger is cut off. The only way to remove it is to melt it down." Jessica paused for a moment. "The melting temperature for adamantium is higher than that of rock. And to melt it down, the Shashan must still be intact and alive." Kathryn felt her stomach lurch. "For hours."

"Those bastards," Kathryn murmured. Jessica didn't look up, but examined her claws. Janeway noticed for the fist time that Jessica's left hand had claws almost an inch shorter than the others and she felt as though she might be sick.

"If the Shashan survives, the claws can be reformed from what metal is left, by simply shifting them back into shape, although they must still be soft, so the Shashan has to be conscious at the end. The person melting them down has to be careful not to get scratched, though. The biological resin that we excrete as a covering, which heals and soothes our skin during shedding, is toxic to other races. It causes blood cells to expand until they burst. Particularly painful in men, as—"

"I get the picture," Janeway said quickly and Jessica snapped out of her trance.

"Capturing a Shashan is like winning the lottery, if she's in natural form. We're sturdy; our bones are as strong as the best-built Klingon warrior. So, we make good slaves, if the slaver can get past our nasty habit of escaping. Usually that's done with manacles that deliver a plasma shock into our bodies if we are caught trying. You saw my set. Don't even really need to be sturdy that way, either."

"I remember you pulling them off. Plasma, because you can absorb electricity, right?"

"Right. Not easy, but feasible. If hands aren't required, though, sometimes special gloves are made, from duranium, shaped to cover our claws, so we can't scratch our way out."

"Scratch? Duranium?" Jessica smiled at the captain, and then touched the wall with her claws. A second later, she dragged her claws violently down it, leaving gouges in the stone.

"The reason they're so coveted."

"But what would they have you doing that didn't require hands, if you were slave labor?" Jessica looked up at Kathryn slowly.

"As I said, we're sturdy." Kathryn found herself getting angry this time as she caught Jessica's meaning. "Our pheromones are also highly prized, since they're the most powerful aphrodisiac that can be easily obtained. As I said before, catch a Shashan in her natural form, stun her until you can use... there's a chemical that prevents us from changing shape. Use that, and you've got a gold mine. One of the reasons we assume other forms so often."

"No wonder you hate them."

"They're no ordinary pirates," Jessica agreed, looking back at the floor and when Kathryn looked at the girl's hands again, they were human, with clear nails instead of black claws. "You didn't come here, just as you're about to leave, to find out about the cruelties my people endure, Captain."

"You're right," Kathryn said, and then took a deep breath, braving herself for the request she was about to make. "You said that you had the ability to adapt technology... That you created a ship that could reach the Alpha Quadrant in less than a year..."

"No." Jessica said, looking away.

"No? You won't help us get home. Why?" Jessica took a deep breath.

"I knew that you would ask, Captain. I've gone over the answer in my mind since you first visited the Dracco. But we have a strict policy of 'if we aren't responsible for your being here, then we aren't responsible for getting you home.' "

"But you broke that rule for your zhanal," Kathryn protested. Jessica rounded on her.

"You have your rules, Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager. And how many times have you used those rules to protect yourself? But you break them when your heart is moved enough. That's only natural and right, as I do as well. You don't move my heart.  
Yes, you've lost people; you will undoubtedly lose more.

"But despite all you've lost, all you will lose, you will gain so much more. Everything happens for a purpose, nothing by chance. I've learned this through a very long short life. I cannot deny the future of what must happen, nor the lives you save or destroy.

"You will explore places no one in the Alpha Quadrant has ever seen, go places that even the ever-expanding Federation will never visit. You will learn things that Starfleet could never teach you, things that they would deny you. You will learn to appreciate things you never even suspected taking for granted.

"I could never deny you, or your crew, of this. If you reach home, or if even stories of yourselves reach home, then you will fall into history. Zefram Cochrane, James Kirk, Jean-Luc Picard, the Soong Android Data, Dr. Leonard McCoy—names history can never forget. Eventually, your names will join theirs.

"But that's all over the moment I send you crying home, behaving as if the first bloody nose the USS Voyager ever receives is a cerebral hemorrhage. No, if I sent you home, I would be doing a disservice not only to you, but also to the Delta Quadrant.

"You have lives to influence—you've already begun. If it weren't for you, Neelix would have been killed trying to rescue Kes, who would have also died. There's no way you could have known that, but how do you feel now, knowing that you've saved both their lives? You do like them don't you?" Kathryn nodded mutely, overwhelmed by the child's monologue, wondering who, of the two of them, was in fact, the child.

"You're saving more lives than you know by being here. Possibly those of your entire crew..." Jessica's eyes drifted away and she fell silent.

"What do you mean?" Kathryn stared at Jessica, who had fallen still and silent, like a statue. She wanted to shake her, force answers from her, but there was something in the blue eyes that stopped her, made her feel cold.

"You have no idea, Captain Janeway, how important you will become..."

…

They were words to haunt a lifetime...

;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-   
_ **Time has won and there is only the Present... **  
_ ;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-

"Actually, Elizabeth looks just like me. Xandra looks more like her father," Jessica whispered from her biobed. B'Elanna rushed back to clutch the Queen's hand, which was weak and light.

"What are you doing out this far?" B'Elanna asked, but Jessica stared past her, ice blue eyes glazing over.

"We were studying an anomaly." Jessica answered quietly.

"Why would that require you and your daughter?"

"Xandra came with me because I was also attending a political meeting to renew a treaty with the Grem'va. Since she is the eldest princess, she will take the throne from me upon my death. She is in training to do so. The conference was last week, we received a report about strange occurrences and decided to take a look when we were attacked."

"Do you know who attacked you?" B'Elanna jumped at the sound of the captain's voice, not having noticed her enter Sickbay. Jessica's eyes moved away from B'Elanna to look at Janeway.

"No. They hailed us with a short message before they attacked, however. 'You die that we may prosper. Your deaths are not in vain, you serve the future of Paraepersk; you bring us one step closer to the Divine. We are gratified.' Then they fired on us. But we fought back and they limped away, not nearly as injured as we. They had some sort of collector on their prow, which drained our energies. Luckily, we didn't use our energy weapons. If we did, I have a feeling we would only have fed their collectors."

"I'll keep that in mind," Kathryn said quietly. "How soon will you be able to brief my crew on your experience with the… Paraepersk?"

"She needs rest, Captain," the EMH protested as he appeared at Jessica's side. Jessica smiled and sat up, slowly.

"I need far too much rest these days, Doctor, but I thank you for your concern. If I rested as much as my physicians are always telling me to, I would never leave my bed and still would not get any younger. Best that I do what I can, while I can. How many of my people were recovered?" Jessica addressed her query to Janeway. Kathryn looked down.

"Including yourself and your daughter, five." Jessica closed her eyes and bit her lip.

"The Dracco carried a crew of over seven hundred, Captain. Please tell me that you haven't finished searching."

"We were unable to explore the ship any further, due to radiation and the extent of the damage to the ship. I'm sorry." Jessica let out a shaky breath and nodded.

"Thank you for the help you were able to render." Jessica said. Kathryn looked down to see the small hands shaking.

"I wish we could have been of more assistance," Kathryn replied. They were silent for a moment, each lost in her own thoughts.

"You have something to tell me?" Jessica said, looking up. Kathryn pursed her lips and nodded.

"Yours isn't the first ship we've encountered that was attacked by these… aliens. We've discovered a total of nine, if we include yours. All with the same weapon signature. No ion trail has been discovered in any case so far."

"Doesn't mean that they're not leaving footprints," Jessica murmured, and then hopped down off the bed. Jessica took a moment to steady herself and Kathryn noticed how white the girl was, for the first time. From hair to claw, Jessica was ashen. The captain spared a glance at B'Elanna and sure enough, the pain was clear in the engineer's eyes.

Jessica stood and observed the two quietly, losing a moment of time to do so. She had felt her grasp on reality slipping, and with it, her corporeal nature. Stepping out of time-space was easier for her than the most advanced Shashan mentalist, and as her body and mind aged, she couldn't help grabbing a moment here and there to just witness life. She felt that there just wasn't enough time to see it all. But these moments could only last a few seconds at best and they were draining.

B'Elanna had grown more beautiful with the progress of time, and calmer, tempered by the linear passage, while Kathryn had lost some of the arrogance with which she had held herself when last they met. The Doctor, though physically unaltered, had a presence, which had not registered to her that first year of Voyager's trip home.

"You wished me to inform your people of my experience, Captain?" Jessica asked as time rushed back into focus with the quiet whirs and beeps of machines and the steady hum of the warp core through the deck plating. She stretched out the kinks in her body as Janeway nodded and indicated that she should follow.

"All senior officers report to the conference lounge," Kathryn announced after tapping her commbadge. "We have a meeting with the Shashan ambassador," she added with a smile to herself.

Jessica raised her eyebrow and quirked a half-smile as she felt the emotional reaction of the crew all around her. One reaction made her almost pause to seek out the source; only Janeway's quick pace distracted her too much to pursue the matter further. … Harry was the first, but not the last, to embrace Jessica when she entered the conference room. Chakotay followed suit and then Ensign Spacey, in one of her bursts of courage, hugged the young woman. Jessica moved slowly and carefully, the weight of years making her movements languid. Everything about her seemed to have aged.

They waited almost ten minutes in comfortable silence, waiting for just one missing member of the senior staff. Finally, Janeway couldn't wait any longer and she tapped her commbadge.

"Janeway to Seven of Nine, report to the conference lounge immediately."

"On my way," Seven's voice came, agitated, through the commlink.

"Seven of Nine? Ex-Borg, I take it? Don't force the borg to come if she doesn't want to." Jessica said quietly and Kathryn bristled.

"There is no room for prejudice in this room," she growled and Jessica raised her eyebrow.

"I'm not the one who's prejudiced," Jessica murmured. A moment later, Seven strode into the room, looked around and locked her eyes on Jessica. Jessica smiled at her and Seven took a step back, resembling nothing more than a deer caught in the open, aware of the trap lain out before it. Janeway couldn't imagine what was making Seven act as she was.

"Seven, why don't you come into the room?" Kathryn gently prodded and Seven took a few tentative steps forward. '_My god_,' Kathryn thought, '_Why does she look like I've ordered her to her execution?_'

"Am I truly needed in this briefing, Captain?" Seven asked abruptly. She looked around the room, hoping against hope that the captain would just dismiss her, so she didn't have to be in the room with... one of 'them.'

"What's wrong with you?" Harry hissed, receiving a glare from Seven, and surprisingly, Jessica.

"Shut up, Harry." Harry spun to face his old friend's reproach with a look of bewilderment. "Leave her alone, she's scared." Seven bristled at this.

"What have I to fear from an old woman?" she asked, haughtily, covering up the panic welling up inside of her. Jessica, not one to be put off by insults, grinned and took a step towards the posturing drone, only to have Seven quickly retreat. Jessica stopped and tapped the side of her head. Seven's eyes widened.

"We're all friends, here." Jessica said, quietly and Seven's eyes narrowed.

"We are not friends, we have not even been introduced." She added the second part almost as an afterthought; making up for her rudeness, afraid that the captain or B'Elanna would be upset with her if she didn't remember her manners. Even in the face of...

"You're absolutely right, how inconsiderate of me. I'm Jessica Sara B'Eal Shanala Wrou Rozhenko-Bry-Tarell." Seven blinked at the lengthy introduction, but replied.

"Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One." Seven wondered why the old alien was being so friendly. 'They' were monsters, horrible creatures. Nothing good could come of 'them.'

"I hate to interrupt the introductions, but why is my astrometrics officer terrified of you?" Kathryn asked, putting her hands on the table and leaning towards the woman she was addressing. Jessica's smile vanished and her eyes became tired once again.

"Long story."

"We have time," Janeway snapped, intent on not allowing Jessica to evade the question. Jessica gave a frail laugh and Kathryn regretted snapping, immediately. The girl/woman seemed as though she was barely standing, barely breathing. But there was still a strength around her, still a youthful aspect that presented itself every now and again. Janeway was only concerned for Seven.

"You never wondered why the Borg stopped expanding into the Delta Quadrant? Why they never entered the borders of the Shashan Empire Alliance?" Kathryn opened her mouth, and then closed it again. "Tell them my species designation, Seven of Nine," Jessica said, turning to the blonde ex-drone.

"Species zero-one-eight." Seven complied reluctantly, again wondering what kind of game this was. Was she going to admit to the atrocities her people had committed?

"Zero. One. Eight. Or eighteen. The eighteenth race to be encountered by the Borg Collective. A scouting ship, about twenty thousand years ago, actually. Our first warp vessels. We had been in space about sixty years, slowly expanding our alliance, making as many friends as we could. Then we encountered the Borg." Jessica walked to the table and sat down before continuing.

"Their greeting was no different back then. 'We are the Borg. Your technological and biological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated.' " Despite the casual way that Jessica gave the speech, everyone in the room felt the chill those words had given them the first time they had heard them. The nightmares they had for years that they would one day hear them in person surfaced, all from those twenty-two words. "That scout ship—the Messenger—was unlucky enough to hear it. As soon as they realized what was about to happen, they all committed suicide. But it was too late; the Borg's attention was grabbed."

Seven was startled. Suicide? An entire ship? The Borg did not retain a collective memory of that event and Seven wondered if the ambassador was fictionalizing events. Everyone else in the room knew that Jessica could not lie, would not lie. Seven was not given that reassurance.

"Within the next month, the Borg were there, in our space, assimilating our people. A young male survived the assimilation process, only to go insane from the mental fight with the Hive control. He took the ship down with him, and they self-destructed. But the Borg didn't take the hint. They kept coming, right up to our front door in orbit of Shaola."

'_That is true,_' Seven thought. '_That is one of the reasons "they" are so dangerous—they can fight the control of the Hive Mind._' Seven realized, suddenly, that that was not a bad thing at all. Now that she knew freedom, she understood the drive to retain control of one's mind. Doubts began worming their way into her mind, but her distrust and fear persisted as Jessica continued telling the tale from her people's perspective.

"There was no single Queen at the time but rather, factions, led by the Five Houses—the strongest houses of the time. But my ancestor, Jex'alyn, faced the Borg with all the power of her mind and willed the first wave back to Borg space. The second wave she gave her life to remove from existence."

"How do you mean?" Janeway asked as Jessica caught her breath, a pang of concern moving through her body. Seven stood in confusion, her dual natures warring with themselves. On the one hand, she knew what Jessica was about to confess, fearing and hating her race for it. On the other hand, she suddenly understood the panic and desperation that caused such events to take place.

"She thought them out of existence. It started a cerebral hemorrhage and she died at the same moment, but her daughter communicated telepathically what had happened to the Borg and they retreated from our space, declaring us 'incompatible' and avoiding my people like the plague from then on. Which brings me to my point that fear is irrelevant," Jessica turned to Seven. "The only instance in which you would have need to fear me is if you were intending to assimilate me. Is that your intention?"

"Of course not." Seven said and Kathryn noticed for the first time that the ex-drone had relaxed and was standing next to Harry, though slightly behind, presumably for protection, but at least it was an improvement over hovering by the door.

"Then we have no reason to fear each other." There was a moment of silence, then Seven slowly nodded, certain that she still did not trust the affable woman, despite her possible sincerity. Jessica smiled slightly, obviously sensing the distrust, but willing to let it go.

"Well then, since that's out of the way, should we begin the briefing?" Kathryn asked. Jessica nodded and stood.

"The Paraepersk is the name of the aliens who have been destroying the vessels throughout this part of space. I've been studying this map," Jessica said, walking to the wall monitor and bringing up the star chart that contained the trail of destruction the Paraepersk had left behind.

"If my calculations are correct, they are headed for the very anomaly that my ship was going to study, here." Jessica put her finger on a small line in the map that represented the spatial phenomenon.

"What kind of anomaly is it?" B'Elanna asked, taking her seat. The rest of the senior staff joined her and the briefing was obviously begun.

"It's a rift. Something of a cross between a wormhole and a temporal tear in space. There is a race known as the Dyrakel that see the anomaly as a temple, and offer sacrifices, technological and biological for the benefit of their world, which rests on the rim of the phenomenon. They call it Ana'k tu Maltor. Divine Blood. In theory, it can grant the true desire of any who offer a great enough sacrifice."

"What kind of sacrifice is great enough?" Harry asked.

"Well, a cow and an electric generator would buy you a cure for a fatal illness. The only catch being that the sacrifice cannot return to life. So, you can't make yourself well by electrocuting yourself. The lore's text was:

" 'Divine Blood, your price is well, for crops will yield and beasts will heal. Blood that is spilt may not run again and the lightning strike will seal the covenant. Twice is paid and deed is done, beast for health or son for more. Impress Divine, and speak your desire, before your heart beats again, your answer will come.' " Jessica opened her eyes again and smiled.

"One of our ships reported the findings, observed a ritual and then sent the report on to us, stating that they were going to explore the rift. By their silence, we take it to mean that they were destroyed. Whatever possessed them to enter Ana'k tu Maltor is beyond me. We were on or way to investigate when the Paraepersk attacked us." Kathryn leaned forward, excited.

"You told me that, in their message, they said, 'You bring us closer to the Divine.' Is it your opinion that they were speaking of the anomaly?"

"No shit," Jessica said, a little of the impetuous youth flooding into her features as she smiled. Then she laughed harshly and continued. "It is my opinion that, with as much energy as they have amassed and as many lives as they have taken... The Paraepersk could easily destroy the Dyrakel without losing any sleep."

"Thus creating the ultimate sacrifice," Chakotay concluded, horrified. Jessica nodded at him.

"Why must there be blood?" Seven asked quietly. Jessica turned her pale eyes to the ex-drone and nodded.

"Good question. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer. One theory might be that there is an alien in the wormhole, not unlike the many 'godlike' entities encountered by explorers throughout the centuries and it, he, she or they see itself as their god, but demands the price of blood to be satiated. Another could be that blood isn't actually required and that that is a superstition. We can't know unless we attempt to actually use the Ana'k tu Maltor ourselves."

"That is out of the question, I don't care what the religious beliefs of the Dyrakel are, we are not taking life just to test a theory—" Janeway was cut off by Jessica's quiet response.

"I'm suggesting that we try it without the blood, Captain. Throw a power cell from the Dracco into the wishing well and see if it can be worked without bloodshed. Believe you me, I have no interest in creating death. I only wish to stop any more innocent lives from being taken."

"Of course," Kathryn apologized with an incline of her head. Jessica nodded. "But I do have one question."

"Shoot."

"How did you know not to use your energy-based weapons on the Paraepersk?"

"Blind luck. They hit us first, so hard that our disruptor cannons were knocked out and all we had left were our antimatter missiles."

"I still don't understand how you managed to make stable antimatter weapons. They're unpredictable by nature, that's why the Federation banned them," B'Elanna muttered. Jessica smiled at her.

"That is some luck," Kathryn agreed. Jessica turned back to her.

"Sometimes luck is all that saves someone from being destroyed, lets them win a battle."

"That's not much comfort when luck is on your enemy's side."

"Everyone is the enemy, Captain. Everyone has family waiting for them to come home."

"How can you kill, then? How can you fight, thinking that way?"

"Life's a bitch and then you die. I don't think about it so much when I'm fighting as when I'm making peace." There was a moment of silence in the room, and then Janeway spoke again.

"Is there anything else you can tell us about the Paraepersk?" Jessica shook her head. "Then we'll set course for the Ana'k tu Maltor, Ensign," Kathryn said, looking at Spacey, who nodded and stood to leave. "If that's all, everyone is dismissed."

**_To be continued…_**


	19. Silence is not the way

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 17 title is from "Letting the Cables Sleep" by Bush._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7

Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

* * *

**Home, Chapter 17**  
_Silence is not the way... _

* * *

At first, no one moved, and then Seven and Spacey stood to leave. They walked alone to the door, Anna looking back over her shoulder and Seven staring straight ahead. After the doors hissed closed, B'Elanna turned to Jessica. 

"You married Luii?" Jessica smiled slightly.

"Yeah. Four years ago, just after I turned sixteen. Bendon threw a hissy fit, but didn't push the issue, since he didn't want to give up his harem."

"He has a harem?" B'Elanna asked, raising her eyebrows. "Isn't that a little... I mean, considering that he—"

"He's a sick puppy, yeah. But all the males from Morina's harem ended up either celibate or whores, depending on the boy."

"I just can't believe that you let him have one," Harry commented. Jessica looked at him and there was something in her eyes that bothered him.

"I can't demand what I won't offer," she said. Kathryn noticed that there was a sad tinge to the words, as though Jessica wished it were different.

"What about Alexander?" Harry asked. Jessica shook her head.

"I told you years ago that he was going to leave me. I wasn't wrong. When the Dominion War began he ran off to Qo'noS to be Klingon, as I knew he eventually would. We're still married and he writes to me, letting me know what's happening. I found it amusing when his father married my zhanal at first. I was glad that she was happy, right up until the day she died. Alexander and I haven't seen each other but once since. Of course, I didn't talk to hardly anyone for almost half a year after she was killed, so that didn't help our marriage any. He still writes and visits our children, but only when I'm not there."

"I'm so sorry," B'Elanna said and Jessica smiled weakly. "I know that..." Jessica sighed a little when B'Elanna trailed off.

"Yeah. Still have two zhanals, Janet and Salir, but Zia was... yeah. Alex became withdrawn afterwards, too. He was at his father's wedding to her and, like anyone who got to know her, he considered her a friend. The truth is, Luii is the only one of my husbands that still spends a considerable amount of time with me. In fact, this past fortnight is the first time we've been apart for longer than a day since we were married. Bendon is still one of my best friends, and I love Alex, but Luii is the only one who doesn't treat me like I'm dying. The fact that I am, being a moot point, he treats me the same as he did in the beginning."

"And your sisters?" Chakotay asked. Jessica looked down and a tear fell from her eye, never actually touching her cheek.

"Jennette died first. She was in a coma for less than a month. Jessamyn was the one who fought the longest. Not surprising, considering that she's been fighting everything and everyone her entire life. She saw our twentieth birthday, but died a month later at her own hand when she showed the first signs of the final stage. Luii performed the separation from her zhanal first. I wasn't there, but he told me that she was just as stubborn in her final moments as the day he met her."

"So when did you start going white?" Harry asked, shocking Kathryn a little, since the question sounded callous. But Jessica just looked amused and grateful.

"Well, I noticed my first white hair when I was nineteen, but I only had a streak until one day five months ago. I woke up totally white, except for my claws, which were only grey at the time. But enough about me, what's been up with you guys these past six years?"  
…

Jessica followed B'Elanna into the ambassador's suite, after checking with Sickbay to discover that her daughter was unchanged. The shorter girl looked around at her accommodations and sighed.

"You don't like them?" B'Elanna asked, walking over to plop down on the couch. Jessica shrugged.

"They're too clean." B'Elanna laughed and stood as an idea struck her.

"You wait here," she said as she ran out the door. Jessica looked, puzzled, at the doors as they closed, amused by her friend's exuberance. B'Elanna was only gone a few minutes, then returned, carrying two picture frames under one arm and a bag under the other. Jessica, who had settled on the couch, rose to see what B'Elanna had.

"Whassat?" she slurred, peering at the pictures, which were turned away.

"These? Just some things I picked up back on Shaola. The bag is for you to use now, though." With that, she tossed the bag to Jessica, who peeked inside and began laughing. She looked around, then began pulling the clothes from the sack and tossing them about. B'Elanna grinned as the room went from being shipshape to a disaster area in a few seconds.

"Now let me see the paintings," Jess said, grinning. B'Elanna revealed the paintings to be of Jessica. One was in the heat of battle, her mien ferocious; the other she appeared as a pensive child. Jessica burst out laughing. "You actually bought these? The blue one doesn't even look like me," she added, sticking out her tongue. B'Elanna chuckled and went to hang them on the walls. Jessica lounged on the couch, watching. When B'Elanna was satisfied, she sat down next to Jessica, who put her ankles in the engineer's lap.

"Tell me why you didn't fuck Tom," B'Elanna dropped, almost casually.

"_What?_"

"Don't give me that. I saw how you looked at him. He was a free one-night stand and I know that he came onto you on the Dracco. But he told me that you turned him down, flat. I know that you usually only have sex with people that you're going to see regularly, that you think you might fall in love with. But I also know that you slept with Chakotay and protest all you like, you didn't really love him, you both just needed it."

"Sometimes I wonder if you're part telepath, Bel. I had a vision, alright?" Jessica rolled on her side and glared at the floor. "It was like a double image, like he was marked to be yours. I saw it in his heart that he would love you. I saw your mark upon his cheek. And when I looked at you with him, I saw... well, something happened that prevented that, but I saw you wearing his ring, carrying his child. Maybe it was just a peek into another life, but I saw you loving him."

"And you knew that I wouldn't have given him a chance if he'd slept with you." Jessica nodded and B'Elanna hugged her. "Thank you." Jessica shrugged, but smiled briefly.

"You can thank me by not being such a chicken shit about Seven."

"Excuse me?" B'Elanna asked, glaring at Jessica.

"Oh, yeah, because you're not screaming 'I love Seven' with every breath you take. Well, not literally, of course. But I can smell it, I can see it and feel it when you're near her."

"She's dating my best friend." B'Elanna spat out.

"For crap's sake, Bel, I know that you would have found any reason possible not to date Tom. Hell, you damn well nearly did. But Seven's not the same and you know it. If you hadn't fucked that up, she might already be with you."

"You're a bitch, you know that?"

"And you're a coward." B'Elanna bristled for a moment, but Jessica met her eyes and she conceded.

"All right, I love her. Are you happy?"

"Are you?" B'Elanna clutched the arm of her couch and bit back tears.

"How can I be happy when the person I love is climbing all over my best friend? I don't know how to let her know that I love her, I didn't even know until it was too late. All right, maybe I did, but I didn't_ really_ realize it! How can I make up for that? Is it worth it? Does she even love me?" B'Elanna asked, the words pouring out of her mouth almost faster than her mind could finish forming coherent thoughts. She looked at Jess for answers.

"Now, now, that _would_ be telling. All I'm saying is that if you love her: help her. Nothing more."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" B'Elanna asked, angrily wiping away the tear that had managed to make its way down her cheek.

"Touch her."

"What?" B'Elanna looked askance at Jessica.

"Something I've noticed, is that no one touches her except the captain, but even she touches her less than she touches other members of the crew. Even Harry keeps a distance from her."

"He touches her," B'Elanna said, bitterly.

"He fucks her, B'Elanna. He even makes love to her, but that's different from just simple, platonic touch. I know that Shashans are extremely intimate to you, always in contact with another person, but humans need physical contact as well. If they don't get it, especially early in life, it can cause physical paranoia, social anxiety, autism in children and…"

"Okay, okay, I get the point. I should touch her. But how? I never touch anyone myself." B'Elanna said, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back.

"You touch me." Jessica said simply. B'Elanna's eyes widened.

"Yeah, but you need it."

"So does Seven. She's feeling isolated and outcast, I know that you know how that feels. If you really love her, give her what even her lover can't. She's trapped in a world where the minds around her are distant and alien, not calm and ordered, joined with hers, like she's known for years and years. I know that if I went mind-blind, I'd go insane from the silence."

"You're already insane," B'Elanna joked. Jessica smiled. "Should I just brush against her, like I do with you? Touch her shoulders, what?" B'Elanna blushed. "It's embarrassing to verbalize these things," she muttered.

"You sound like Seven," Jessica said with a grin. B'Elanna smiled. "Do what feels natural, but remember to keep your romantic feelings out of it. You lost her; that's your own fault. Don't glare at me, you've said it yourself." Jessica tapped her own head gently. "Just make contact. She needs it. If you love her, don't let her be alone."

"When did you get so smart?" B'Elanna growled jokingly.

"Who's smart? I'm a telepath and Mama's a shrink, remember? I'm _all_ kinds of cheating," Jessica answered with a wink.  
…

* * *

Harry looked at Seven, who was lying on her side, not facing him. They only seemed to fulfill a physical need with their copulation, never anything emotional. Indeed, he could see how mindless it was between them sometimes. There was the passion of lust and physical attraction, but it was... empty somehow. 

He just couldn't stand it, but he still didn't want to give her up.

Suddenly and completely unexpectedly, Jessica burst into his bedroom, rolled her eyes and the next thing he knew, he was naked, Seven having snatched the sheets for herself. He dove off the side of the bed and peeked over at Jessica.

"Come on, baby face, it's nothing I haven't seen before. Get your cute little ass in some clothes, we're taking a walk."

"You don't just burst into someone's quarters uninvited, Jess, sheesh." Harry said as he reached for some pants.

"Yes I do. Now hurry up, life is short." Jessica winked at Seven, who raised her ocular implant and the sheets at the same time. She couldn't help noticing that something was different about the woman now. She looked positively youthful, despite the obvious age marks of her race.

Seven expected to be enraged at having the crone burst into the room, just after her sexual act, but she wasn't. She was actually entertained as she watched Harry scramble into his clothes. Although she was a bit irritated at the words the Shashan chose and the fact that Harry was so quick to comply. She focused on that emotion—annoyance—to fortify her opinion that 'they' could not be trusted or be befriended. She was determined not to like the changeling woman.

Jessica seemed to sense this because she raised her own eyebrow back at Seven, although her expression was vaguely amused. Harry looked at Seven, as though for permission and she felt a moment of triumph against the convivial woman. Seven nodded and the two left her to her thoughts, which were mostly on Voyager's Chief Engineer.  
…

"What did you want to talk about?" Harry asked Jessica as they walked up the corridor.

"You're a pig, Harry. You know that, right?" Harry sighed.

"This is about Seven."

"No, it's about the curly tail you seem to have sprouted in my absence. What the hell are you thinking?"

"What, you don't know?" Harry kept his eyes fixed on the floor as he walked, but the irritation in his voice was directed more at himself than his companion. He knew that she was waiting for him to keep talking, that the question was rhetorical. She couldn't be asking if she didn't know. "Did you ever consider being a psychologist?"

"I hate shrinks. Answer the question."

"Your adoptive mother is a counselor."

"That's not her fault. Besides, she's not one of the pricks. Now tell me why you're doing this to both of you, rather, all three of you?" Harry shook his head.

"I don't know. Maybe it's because I've got such bad judgment when it comes to women. I can't seem to do anything right. We were getting along so well, developing a friendship and it's no secret that I've had a crush on her from the moment I saw her. Am I a jerk?"

"No. If you want me to psychoanalyze you, I might have to just smack you."

"But you're so good at it," Harry said, giving her a grin. Jessica sighed.

"All right. It's Tom."

"Tom's dead."

"Exactly. You miss him and you think that you can make up for that emptiness by going against your own nature, behaving as he would. In this case, having sex with someone that you know doesn't love you, can't love you. And whom you honestly don't love, at least, not in a forever way. But may I say, that if you're going to emulate your dead best friend, get it right. Tom was a good guy at heart, just like you are. He may have slept around, but he never got involved in a relationship that was detrimental to the emotional well-being of either member."

"You only met him for about a week, how could you possibly know that?" Harry stopped and turned to Jessica, a little surprised that her words rang true in his mind. Jessica stopped and looked at Harry intensely.

"When I met your crew, you were the only member on real speaking terms with Tom. And you know how I have a thing for outcasts. I talked to him quite a bit, even got to know him enough to see that he wasn't the asshole that most of your crew saw him as at the time. I think that the manner of his death proves that, though." Jessica turned around and started walking again. Harry followed, musing over her words.

"So what should I do?"

"You already know that. You've been trying to convince your idiot half to do it for weeks now. It has to come from you to mean anything, though. I'm just telling you what you already know, but don't have the balls to admit." Harry kept walking for a while, his head down, thinking about what Jessica had told him.

"But don't you think—" Harry realized suddenly that he was alone. He looked around, and then sighed at Jessica's vanishing act. After all, it wasn't the first time he'd experienced it. "You know, that's really annoying," he growled to the air. He kept walking to his quarters, rehearsing what he should say until he was satisfied, but when he got there, Seven was gone.  
…

"Is that the... Jessica you spoke of in one of our previous conversations?" B'Elanna jumped at the sudden interruption of her work.

"Um, yeah." B'Elanna stood up, rubbing the part of her head she had managed to bang when she was startled. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you know her nature?" Seven asked, almost demanding.

"How do you mean? On this ship, I'm probably the person who knows her best, although Harry spent more time with her." B'Elanna put away the hyper-spanner and searched out a sonic cutter.

"When did that occur?"

"When he was a cadet. They went to Starfleet Academy together." Seven raised her ocular implant.

"She is in Starfleet?" Confusion and doubt began riddling the ex-drone's mind. B'Elanna decided that since Seven was scared of Jessica because she didn't know her, knowledge would alleviate some of the fear that the blonde was radiating.

"Was. She resigned just before the Dominion War, saying that Starfleet was changing and she was sick and tired of conspiracies. Also, she knew that war was coming and she didn't agree with any of it, so she left, rather than be used as a pawn."

"Is she not too old to have been of much use to Starfleet?"

"Old? Jessica's only twenty years old, Seven. She's sick and that's why she looks old." B'Elanna sat down, her legs aching from remaining in a squatting position for too long. When she sat, she made sure that she was touching Seven, as Jessica had suggested. Seven was a little surprised by the contact, but found it pleasing and did nothing to impede it.

"If she is sick, isn't the captain afraid of contagion? Because of their mutable nature, disease in—"

"It's not a disease, Seven. She has what's called Vaggimort Syndrome, okay? She's going to die, and very soon. She probably won't live out the month." B'Elanna had to bite back the tears that threatened to spill as she confessed to Seven what she, herself, didn't want to believe. "It comes from conception in an infertile Shashan woman. She had five identical siblings who are all dead now and she's about to join them."

Seven noticed the change in B'Elanna's posture, pheromone production and the rush of heat to the woman's face and immediately missed the contact that B'Elanna had just severed with her shift in position. She also noted that her friend was distressed by the information that she was providing and Seven recalled everything that the Klingon had told her previously about Jessica. Some of the anxiety she had been experiencing vanished and she put her hand briefly on B'Elanna's shoulder.

"Thank you for answering my query."

B'Elanna was startled by the expression of gratitude and managed to say, "You're welcome," before Seven disappeared around the corner.

* * *

Seven walked into the Mess Hall for her midday nutritional supplement and stepped into the line of people being served by Neelix, who was grinning and offering his opinion on each of the dishes offered. Seven found them all unappealing and walked over to the replicator to order Nutritional Supplement 85. 

"Hey, Borg," Crewman Gerron called. "Wanna sit with us?" Seven shook with rage and hurt for a moment, then remembered something that her parents had once told her, long ago. '_Just let them get to know you and they'll see what a wonderful person you are._' Seven looked at her plate, then walked slowly to the table, ready to run at the first cutting remark.

"Hi, Seven," Jennifer Delaney said, smiling slightly, while maintaining a confused expression due to the ex-drone's acceptance of their invitation. It was well known that Seven usually ate alone. It was not well known that rarely did anyone offer to share his or her table with her.

"What're you eating? More nutritional supplements?" Seven looked at Gerron warily and nodded. "What do they taste like?"

"They taste... pleasant." Seven selected her words carefully, trying to fit in. Ensign Brooks snickered. Seven forced herself not to blush. Perhaps this was a bad idea. "I find that Mr. Neelix does not season the food he prepares efficiently. He often 'overdoes' it."

"Yes, he does," Brooks said. "Nice to see that you're trying to be a little more normal. Maybe you'll even start fitting in."

"Perhaps," Seven said, not believing the Ensign, but not wanting to be contradictory.

"So, are you going to the hoverball match on Thursday?" Seven started to reply to Delaney, but Gerron answered the question. Seven closed her mouth, assuming that she was not being addressed.

"I think that Engineering's got a better chance than Security, with Lt. Torres on their team."

Seven decided she had something to contribute, thankfully, and offered, "B'Elanna is an excellent competitor. I have had the privilege of playing hoverball with her on several occasions. I agree that she will be an asset to her team."

"Well if the Borg's betting on Engineering, then it would probably be the team to go with," Brooks said. Seven raised her ocular implant.

"I do not gamble," she contradicted, making them all laugh, much to her indignation, which she didn't express.

"All the more reassuring," Gerron said, grinning. Seven began eating again, deciding to ignore the jokes obviously aimed at her.

"I dunno, what would a Borg know about hoverball? I doubt that there's a team in the Collective. Torres was probably just humoring her, letting her play. Maybe even let her win a game or two. Although, isn't being part machine technically cheating?" Jennifer added. Seven swallowed her food with difficulty and decided that she had had enough. She was about to stand when she saw a white shape out of the corner of her eye. Jessica sat down next to her and she almost bolted.

"Hi, Humans," Jessica greeted, a malicious glint in her eye. "Bajoran," Jessica added, nodding to Brooks, who was obviously half-Bajoran from the ridges on his nose, although he didn't wear the earring that his people traditionally sported.

"Okay," laughed Gerron, a quizzical expression on his face. "Hi, Jessica. How are you?"

"I'm good. Aren't you supposed to be on duty?" Jess asked and Gerron shook his head. "Oh, I heard that you skipped your duty shifts when the mood hit you. Hey, don't hit me for saying that," Jessica feigned hiding behind Seven's arm. Seven wondered what the young woman was up to. Gerron looked confused. "So who are the Delaney sisters sleeping with this week?"

"Hey!" Jennifer yelled. "I'm sitting right here."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that Humans had such good hearing. Also, I thought it was okay to talk rudely about someone right in front of them. Hmm, wonder where I got that idea?" Jennifer looked at her plate and went quiet. Gerron didn't catch the not so subtle hint.

"Why do you keep calling us by our species? We have names, you know." He looked, offended, at Jessica.

"Oh, my mistake. I thought that was how you identified each other now. Affectionate or something."

"No, and I'm human, too, not just Bajoran," Brooks growled.

"Well, since you looked more Bajoran, I just supposed that you would be called one."

"I preferred to be called Mikel," Brooks responded.

"And I'm Gerron."

"What do you liked to be called?" Jessica asked Seven.

"Seven," answered the startled woman.

"Okay, so everyone has a name. And I take it no one likes being called a slut or a lazy bully anymore than I like being called an oversexed mind rapist who probably turns into a hermaphrodite and fucks herself, right?"

"Who ever said that?" Brooks asked, shocked.

"Just some people at the Academy who, I guess, thought I couldn't hear them when I was sitting two tables away." This time, Brooks looked right at Seven and hung his head.

"Yeah, but we'd never say anything like that," Gerron protested.

"God, you're an idiot, Gerron. She's talking about how we've been treating Seven," Jennifer almost yelled as she stood up and threw down the napkin she'd been playing with. She walked past Seven and said, "I'm sorry," as she went, looking horribly embarrassed.

"I know that this sounds rude, but I really didn't know that you had feelings," Brooks added as he, too, stood and left. "I'm sorry." Seven nodded to his retreating form. Gerron shook his head.

"Sorry, Seven. Jessica's right. We're asses. I'm sorry. You can hit me if you want," he added with a grin. Seven shook her head.

"I do not wish to cause you physical harm," she lied.

"You're a better person than I am, then," Gerron said, smiling as he left. Seven turned to Jessica, a mixture of gratitude and embarrassment making her unsure how to react. Jessica nodded.

"I know. You don't know whether to hit me or thank me. I'll let you think about it. Just remember, if someone's picking on you, pick on them right back. Best way to fit in. They'll either think you're a bitch or joking, but at least they won't think you're a machine." Seven blinked at Jessica, who stood and left her alone to her thoughts.

* * *

"Come in," Kathryn called, looking up from her console, where she had been studying the data they had retrieved from the Dracco. She smiled as Seven walked in and stood in front of her desk. "Hello, Seven. What is it?" 

"I... need to talk, Captain. I needed someone who can discuss Jessica objectively. I thought that perhaps..." Kathryn nodded and returned to sitting, leaning back in her chair. Seven took the seat across from her.

"Are you still uncomfortable with her presence?"

"Yes, but... Actually, I am not certain anymore. I still do not trust her, yet... despite the fact that I do not greet her or interact with her and often think unkindly of her, she continually treats me well and even defended me this afternoon."

"Why would you need to be defended?" Kathryn demanded, getting angry.

"That is irrelevant. Why does she meet my hostility with kindness? I am... confused." Kathryn sighed.

"Join the club. Ever since I met Jessica, she's been infuriatingly cryptic and unerringly kind and generous. At the same time, she's deadly in battle, though she offers mercy right up until the end. Sometimes I think she's like a tame tiger. Other times, like a wild kitten. The only thing I really know is that she can be trusted to keep her word and she lies less than a Vulcan. Or at least, that was how she was when we last met." Seven nodded.

"Thank you, Captain." Seven stood and left without another word, barely hearing the captain's good-bye. She walked into the turbolift and ordered the car to her deck. She considered her feelings, not toward Jessica, but toward B'Elanna and Harry, as the lift descended.  
…

"Hi," Harry called as Seven walked in. She looked at him, but didn't really see him. She walked over to sit next to him as he was requesting, but said nothing. "I think we should talk." Seven looked at him, her attention finally grabbed.

"Perhaps we should." Harry swallowed, hating what he was about to say.

"You don't love me." He meant for it to be a question, but it came out as a statement. Seven waited for him to continue. "I have no right to keep you from actively pursuing whoever it is that you love," Harry looked at his hands in his lap.

"I think I do love you, Harry," Harry looked up at Seven, startled. "But not in a romantic way. I care for you, and you have treated me well. You are right, however, that I wish I were in a relationship with... my love interest. I did not want to hurt you."

"I'm not hurt. I kinda knew all along that this wasn't going to last. But it was fun..." Seven leaned over and kissed Harry on the cheek.

"Then are we no longer a couple?"

"Yeah. You're free, Seven." Harry smiled at her and she smiled back, stood and left. Harry watched her go, then buried his face in his hands, rubbing angrily at his skin. '_You will adapt,_' he thought, and then laughed bitterly at his own joke.

**_ To be continued…_**


	20. Love bleeds bringing me down on knees

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter __18 title is from "Love Bites" by Def Lepard whom I do not own._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama  
Codes: K/7, T/7

Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!  
_Extra Disclaiming Note: All chapter titles are NOT owned by me and are owned, respectively, by the bands who wrote/played them and their record companies._

* * *

**Home, Chapter 18  
**_Love bleeds; it's bringing me down on knees. It's what I need... _

* * *

B'Elanna looked at Seven from across the room, trying to approach the object of her affection. Without success. Several times she had braced herself to stand and failed, tried to just start up a friendly conversation—how easy it had been before she was aware of her feelings. 

"Dammit," B'Elanna murmured, with feeling. She managed to force herself to stand, but instead of going forward, she found herself in the hall. She raced down the corridor, furious at herself, until she was certain that no one in the Mess Hall could hear her and she punched the wall. She stood there a few seconds, pacing, then repeated the action until she just exploded and hit the innocent wall with both fists and kicked it for good measure. "Damn it!"

She spun around and flung her back against the battered wall, which appeared no worse for the abuse and looked down at the floor, her hair falling into her face. She vaguely noticed the throbbing in her right knuckles, and the faint trickle of blood running down them, but didn't react.

"Dammit, Jessica, how do you do it?" B'Elanna looked next to her briefly and sighed loudly. "Losing your touch. Time was, you'd be standing right next to me, answering my question." Again, B'Elanna waited for an answer that didn't come. "Why can't I even talk to her now? What's wrong with me?" B'Elanna banged her head against the wall in frustration. She pushed herself off the wall, then walked to her quarters, defeated and emotionally drained.

She stormed into her living space and dropped her clothes on the floor as she walked through. The dirty garments fell from her body like water. She stalked into the shower room and looked at the sonic shower for a moment. She felt too tired to use it and as she turned to leave, she rammed her elbow on the towel rack, which was punished with a stream of choice words.

Angrily, she grabbed the bar, knocking the towels off and gripped it with all her strength, trying to exhaust the fury and frustration coursing through her body.

"Why did I let her go to Harry?" she cried. The towel rack snapped.  
…

"Why am I incapable of sustaining a relationship?" Harry groaned as he sat, hunched forward, head in hands on Jessica's bed. She shrugged at him from the single chair across the room.

"Do I look like my mama? Why am I always the counselor?"

"Because you're good at it," Harry replied.

"I don't have all the answers, Harry. I'm just me." Jessica was brushing out the long white hair, one section at a time. Harry watched her, not really paying attention.

"You do seem to know everything," he joked. Jessica's liquid blue eyes darkened to brown for a moment and her eyes closed. Harry knew better than to ask if she was alright. He knew she hated that question, that she was simply experiencing the pains of old age. There was nothing he could do to help and she wouldn't take pain medication, so he remained silent and waited until she opened her eyes again.

"Not everything. No one knows everything and anyone who says they do is either insane, very young or an idiot."

"There is nothing to know beyond the fact that one knows nothing."

"Bleh, no philosophy tonight, I'm not in the mood. Just continue with your rant." Jessica set down the brush and relaxed into the chair. Harry laid back.

"I just… feel like I'm failing."

"Failing who?"

"Failing as a man. I—" Jessica made a rude noise and Harry propped himself up on his elbows. "What?"

"Don't give me that failure denotes unmanliness bullshit, Baby Face. I grew up in a world where everyone was waving their dicks around and if you didn't piss standing up then you had no voice." Jessica stood up and walked slowly to the window, talking as she went. "So I pissed standing up. I waved my gun around and made myself heard, moving forward without direction and losing all respect for myself because I wasn't being me. Then it all crashed down and it didn't matter anyway and I became a whore, again playing roles, never being who I was. Never being honest with myself or anyone else."

"I've never known you to lie," Harry said, sitting up fully and looking at the small back of the woman in front of him, covered in a curtain of wintry hair.

"Never did. Just pretended to be older—I could pass—without actually saying how old I was. Never said I was a boy, just said I peed standing up and lowered my voice."

"I find it hard to believe that anyone could mistake you for a boy, you're far too pretty." Jessica turned and looked at him. Then she walked over to him and sat down on the bed. They sat in silence for a while, Harry waiting for Jessica to speak as he recognized one of those few moments when she was willing to talk about her past.

"I used to have tattoos. I thought they would be a part of me forever, just another scar." Jessica was looking at her wrists and Harry followed her gaze. The flesh was smooth and unmarred. "Nothing is permanent. Now I don't really have any scars. I used to keep some, to remind myself of where I came from; still have a few. But it doesn't matter." She spread her fingers and Harry saw the thin knife marks on her palms.

"I sometimes wonder, what does a girl think when she decides that all there is for her is prostitution." Harry said, trying to get Jessica to open up to him. She set her hands on her knees and sighed. She shook her head at the obvious prod and abandoned her cryptic covering.

"I think that, for me, it was the hope that someone would come and take me away from it all. If I had to suffer, somewhere in it, there might be pleasure. That the bitch may as well be right, since I had nothing anyway. I was nothing. But most of all, I needed the money. With money, I could erase the past, erase the present, maybe even stop the future from coming." Harry put his hand on Jessica's shoulder. He squeezed gently; finally figuring out that 'the bitch' was probably Jessica's adoptive stepmother.

"I know that some people have more to be concerned with than whether or not they'll find their perfect mate—" Jessica spun, her eyes wide.

"No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm sorry, I just went off on a tangent. I meant to say that it has nothing to do with how masculine you are or aren't, but rather, just who is right for you. You can't pretend that someone is your perfect mate just because she's beautiful, available and you have a crush on her—that's just ridiculous. You're denying yourself _and_ her if you do that. When it's meant to be, it'll happen," Jessica said, smiling slightly. "Now I just sound like I'm babbling."

"I thought Shashans were atheists," Harry teased. Jessica smiled wider.

"Far from it. Everyone's right, whether they know it or not. We just don't have any gods. But we're rich in theology and fate. Prophecies do have the strangest way of coming true. How could precognition exist without fate, things slated to be?"

"You don't have to convince me, I've seen enough of your dreams and visions come true to know that there's something. Doesn't mean I know what the hell it is."

"It would be so simple if it were the Prophets or the Q. Anything tangible and semi-corporeal." Jessica said. Harry laughed, then fell silent for a few minutes, thinking.

"Is she here on Voyager?" Harry asked. Jessica didn't pretend not to know whom he was talking about. But Jessica wasn't a prophet of that sort, she saw fewer visions as she grew older, the future was as cloudy for her as anyone else. But that didn't mean she couldn't give him hope.

"I don't know Harry." Jessica closed her eyes and smiled. "Maybe you were just a little off in the assignment of quarters."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry looked at Jessica suspiciously.

"It means that you've spent too long in here and I want to take a nap. Scram."  
…

B'Elanna looked across the candle at Tuvok. He sat, calm and composed, his hands folded, fingers steepled under his chin, deep in meditation. The moment ended quickly as he sensed her detachment from the exercise.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" B'Elanna jerked awake, startled by the sudden sound of his voice in the silence.

"I was just thinking," she answered evasively.

"I do not believe that thinking will help you erase the thoughts and troubles from your mind," he admonished. She smiled slightly at the subtle joke. "Perhaps it would ease the burden from your mind if you discussed what is hindering your meditation."

"Is there a meditation to bring courage?" B'Elanna asked. Tuvok raised one eyebrow.

"There are many. Is there any particular type of courage that you seek?"

"I... I'm in love with... a friend and I don't want… that is, I don't want to ruin our friendship, but when I'm around h—my friend, I just have the urge to run away or. make a. romantic advance that would be inappropriate," B'Elanna managed to stammer out. "But I want to be friends with... I don't want to let my romantic interest get in the way of our friendship. I need the courage to see past my feelings, or to repress them, like I do my anger." B'Elanna looked away from the candle and at the window, staring out into the stars as they streaked by at warp.

"I do not believe that it would be beneficial for you to repress your amorous feelings. However, I can see how these emotions would be a hindrance to your association with this person. Though meditating with me may help you clear your mind and gain the courage to approach... your friend; that bravery may falter when you come face to face with the object of your desire. B'Elanna, you must find the determination from within to salvage your friendship, or you will fail."

Tuvok's face remained impassive through the speech, as well as his tone. But B'Elanna could read the concern for her in his words. He wasn't just telling her how to hide her emotions, or how to suppress them, he was trying to save her feelings, and help her with her dilemma. She felt a pang of appreciation for his friendship.

"Please help me find that determination."  
…

Seven walked calmly into Sickbay and stopped, a shiver of fear running up and down her spine. She shook it off, reminding herself that Jessica was benevolent and that, as the ambassador for her race, she was also responsible for the actions of her people. Logically, it would follow that her people would be as amiable as she.

Still, Seven couldn't force the chill to leave her body as she viewed the two remaining adult Shashans in bed, a third walking around, assisting the Doctor and Jessica sitting next to the child. Seven was about to look away from Jessica, who was holding her daughter's hand gently and purring softly, a sound that Seven could only hear due to her enhanced earshot, when the woman did something very interesting.

Jessica raised her hand to the child's forehead. That, in itself, was not what caught her attention. What struck her as fascinating and frightening was that Jessica never moved. It was as if she skipped the act of lifting her hand. Her hand was holding her offspring's one moment, and then on the young girl's brow within a heartbeat. Seven shuddered for a moment, and then regained her composure as the Doctor stepped forward.

"Ah, Seven, on time, as usual. You know, I really appreciate your punctuality. Of all the crew, you are the only member who never fails to arrive promptly on schedule."

"Thank you, Doctor. May we proceed with the physical?"

"As you wish. Please take a seat." Seven almost sighed. She disliked sitting. She walked over to the biobed furthest from the injured Shashans, despite the extra distance that doing so required her to cover. The doctor gave her a strange look, but she ignored it and sat down. The grey Shashan male that had been following the EMH around continued to do so and she instinctively put the bed between them. "Is there a problem, Seven?"

"Yes. I do not wish to be examined by... one of them." Seven almost flinched at the terminology, especially when she saw the hurt in the young man's eyes. They changed to turquoise, the color of intense sadness and she looked away, unable to meet his expressive eyes.

"I wiil liifv efv iit causzess eyu diiscomfvarrtt." Seven glanced up and blinked at the heavily accented words, taking only a moment to understand. Seven looked back down. The Shashan man nodded and walked away, accepting the dismissal. The Doctor watched him leave, and then swung on Seven.

"Seven, that was just plain… rude!"

"I am sorry, Doctor. I am… uneasy around them."

"Seven, I understand your prejudices, but Tiañel is a very nice young man! He was a nurse on the Dracco, and he's been a fine assistant since he awoke." Seven refused to meet the EMH's eyes. He waited for a few moments, and then began scanning her. She endured the physical in silence, fighting tears that she had disappointed her friend and herself with her bigotry. Unfortunately, she just couldn't get past her programming.

Seven stood when the Doctor told her she was free to go and left. As she walked to the exit, she noticed that the grey Shashan, Tiañel, was sitting by the bed of a green Shashan woman, stroking her hair softly. His eyes were now royal blue, the color of love. Jessica was standing behind him, her hand on his shoulder. The Ambassador looked up and met Seven's eyes. There was no reproach, no accusations, only a serene, almost blank expression. Seven glanced back at the love in the male's eyes and felt a pang of sympathy in her chest.

She took a step forward, with Jessica watching her and tried her voice. It refused to work. She tried again.

"Is she your wife?" Seven asked, unsure what else to say. Tiañel nodded.

"Herr nem iis M'trellia," he offered without looking up.

Seven quickly mumbled, "I wish her a rapid recuperation," then her courage left her and she fled Sickbay, almost missing his response.

"And mayy yer harrt find iitself."

Seven mulled over the words. She assumed that it was a common saying for well wishing amongst his culture, but those words seemed far too appropriate, somehow.

'_May your heart find itself_.' She realized that she was standing in front of B'Elanna's quarters. '_Well, I suppose this is what he meant,_' she thought lightly before pressing the chime. When there was no answer, she bypassed the locking mechanism and entered the quarters. Immediately, she heard the sonic shower running and she boldly strode into B'Elanna's bathroom.

She came up behind B'Elanna, despite the half-Klingon's nudity and grabbed her about the waist, spinning her around. B'Elanna looked shocked. Before she could utter a word, however, Seven had claimed her lips. For a blissful moment, they stayed locked together in the embrace, their tongues searching each other out, and then B'Elanna shoved away, realizing what was happening.

"Seven? What the hell are you doing?" All the meditations, all the attempts to protect Seven's feelings—all for nothing. Here was the woman that she was supposed to be hiding her amorous feelings for, to keep safe from her desires, coming into her shower and nearly ravishing her.

It had to be too good to be true.

Seven's eyes clouded. "I have offended you."

"No, Seven, I—"

"I have overstepped my boundaries and misinterpreted your feelings for an emotion that I had hoped we shared. No doubt, I have destroyed our friendship. I am sorry," Seven stopped as her throat closed and she ran from the room. B'Elanna pursued her, not having time to grab her robe on the way out of her quarters.

"Seven, wait!" B'Elanna called, but Seven paid no heed as she sped towards the nearest turbolift, oblivious to the naked Klingon following her, matching her pace. Seven stood in front of the turbolift less than two seconds before B'Elanna caught up with her.

The doors swished open, revealing a few crewmen and Lieutenant Tuvok, who merely raised one eyebrow before staring at the ceiling as B'Elanna grabbed Seven's arm and tried to drag her out of the lift. Seven shook her off, but turned around to look.

"You can't go after what just happened, Seven. You can't just toy with my hearts like that. Kahless, why does everyone have to leave? Why can't someone I love stay _with_ me for once?" Seven's eyes widened, although she didn't answer the impossible questions. B'Elanna dropped to her knees and put her hands together, pleading. "Seven, don't go, please. I am on my knees, begging you to stay and talk to me. _I _don't fucking beg! Please get out of that damn lift. Please," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

Seven stepped forward, triggering the lift doors to close, with most of the occupants examining what must have been a fascinating interior to have held their interest so long; only one staring, open-mouthed at the site before him. Seven took B'Elanna's proffered hand and pulled her to her feet.

"You should be wearing clothing, Lieuten—B'Elanna. There is a dress code aboard this ship." B'Elanna laughed and threw her arms around Seven.

She never wanted to let go.

**_To be continued…_**


	21. Once I hold on, I won’t let go

_Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 19 is from "Bother" by Stone Sour, whom I do not own._

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama, Angst  
Codes: K/7, T/7

Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

* * *

**Home, Chapter 19_  
_**_Once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds... _

* * *

A date with Seven of Nine was not like a date with anyone else. At least, that was B'Elanna's opinion on the matter. Seven showed an entirely different side to the engineer than ever before. She wasn't pushy or exacting; she was almost shy after their first encounter. It made B'Elanna react in kind, and the physical aspect of their relationship was limited to a few timid 'good-night' kisses.

But B'Elanna found that the merest peck on the cheek by Seven was not only endearing, but stimulating. She loved touching her and took every opportunity she came by to do so.

Their first date had been in Stellar Cartography. B'Elanna had believed this an odd place for a date until she had seen it. Seven had turned off all overhead lighting and set the viewscreens to rotate into magnificent views. From glowing nebulae to spectacular meteor showers, the screens glowed and displayed breathtaking stellar phenomena while they dined on a sumptuous meal that Seven had actually cooked, rather than replicated.

Their second date had been water-skiing on Pacifica, an oceanic planet with a warm climate that B'Elanna had enjoyed immensely. B'Elanna had selected their third date, a moonlit stroll along the beach cliffs of Berillia Prime, the violet water below glowing under the light of three red moons whilst they walked on white sand, finer than any on Earth.

She couldn't believe that almost two weeks had passed since she had begun dating Seven. Jessica had kept a vigil at her daughter's side while the other Shashans had taken up temporary lodgings on the ship. Luii had been contacted about his wife and informed them that he was en route to rendezvous with Voyager, but it would be another week before he would arrive.

Voyager had come across two more ships, destroyed by the Paraepersk. As with every ship other than the Dracco, nothing but dust remained. They had no idea if they were catching up with the aliens, although Seven worked double shifts trying to find a way to detect them. It was estimated that Voyager would arrive at the anomaly in ten days. Hopefully, they would have the weapons from the Dracco converted to be fired from Voyager before they met up with the Paraepersk, but B'Elanna wasn't giving it good odds.

The damn missiles were unstable when launched from Voyager's torpedo tubes, a bit of knowledge that had cost Voyager five days' traveling time to discover when it had misfired. The Engineering teams were working around the clock to install special force field buffers in the lining of the torpedo tubes and creating more missiles to fire at the alien ship before it could use its formidable weapons against Voyager. It had been a thorn in B'Elanna's side for the same blissful two weeks that she had spent with Seven.

Harry had quit sulking after a few days and challenged them to a hoverball match, which had been postponed six times already. They ate lunch together a few times, but had almost no free time between them. If two of them were off at the same time, one was still attempting to work out some difficulty posed by these damnable Paraepersk.

That was, until today. They had had their match, which was why B'Elanna was in Sickbay, with the Doctor repairing her sprained ankle, giving her a lecture about playing on it instead of holding the game until it had been attended to. She tuned him out and glanced over at Jessica, who was asleep with her head on Alexandra's bed. The EMH followed her gaze and smiled.

"She should be waking up soon," he confided.

"Jessica?"

"No, her daughter. I've finally repaired all the damage to her brain, I believe. Within the next twelve hours, we'll find out if she's going to recover. If she doesn't wake up by then, I don't have a lot of hope that she'll ever recuperate, as I've done all I can." B'Elanna looked over at Jessica, who was beginning to twitch and jerk in her sleep and appeared to be in danger of falling off the stool she was perched on.

B'Elanna hopped off the biobed when the Doctor finished chastising her and walked over to her friend. Jessica was now issuing small, abrupt cries, as if she were trying to wake herself from whatever horrors were unfolding behind her eyes. Finally, she jerked awake with a yell and looked around, disoriented. B'Elanna felt a pang in her chest that her young friend still suffered the nightmares that, in her effort to avoid them, had once made her go weeks at a time without sleeping.

"It's okay, Jess, you're on Voyager, safe and sound." Jessica looked up at B'Elanna, who had put her fingers in the long, silken hair on top of her head for comfort. Jessica pressed into the contact and leaned against B'Elanna.

"Thanks, Bel. I didn't really mean to fall asleep." The young Shashan woman raised her hand and brushed the little girl's forehead. "I'm just so tired all the time." B'Elanna looked at the white-scaled hand and realized, for the first time, that Jessica had been in the same form since she arrived on Voyager.

"Can't you shape-shift anymore?" the half-Klingon asked. Jessica looked up, surprised.

"Yeah." Jessica looked at her own hand and closed her eyes. Almost painfully slowly, her skin darkened to its human shade and the claws changed into grey nails. Jessica laughed lightly and B'Elanna watched as the nails turned clear. "I never did master the art of shapeshifting." Then she slid her gaze up to the younger woman's face and gave a start. Jessica could have been the same age as B'Elanna last saw her. Her face was youthful and bright, despite the white hair framing it. Just as before, Jessica could pass for twenty as easily as fourteen, or even thirteen.

"Kahless, you haven't aged a day," B'Elanna breathed. Jessica grinned.

"No, just seventy years," Jessica responded. B'Elanna flinched inwardly, but shook her head, grinning.

"Doesn't show."

"Well, don't expect me to offer you the same compliment. You look like you're thirty," Jessica said, a twinkle in her eye.

"At least I don't have split ends," B'Elanna growled. Jessica's mouth opened in a little 'o' of surprise.

"Now, that's just plain fighting dirty, bringing my hair into this," she growled. B'Elanna knew that Shashans were as prideful of their hair as a Ferengi of his ears. Maybe more so.

"And your ears are still pointy." Jessica's hand automatically went to her ears, which were round and smooth. She glared at B'Elanna, who laughed. After a second of hardy glaring, Jessica joined her in laughing.

"Momma?" came a tired little voice. Jessica's head swung around and grasped the tiny, searching hand in her own.

"Right here, Xandra."

"Where are we? My head hurts." Xandra opened her olive eyes and looked around curiously.

"We're on a Federation ship called Voyager."

"Hey, you're part Klingon, too," Alexandra said to B'Elanna, who quirked a half-smile.

"Yeah. But it's on my mother's side," B'Elanna responded. Xandra blinked and smiled slightly.

"My daddy's mom was half Klingon on her mother's side, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Daddy didn't used to like being Klingon, either, but he does now. It made him go away." She blinked her large, green eyes at B'Elanna, who was a little startled that the girl had read her mind.

"Xandra. You know it's not nice to read people's minds without their permission."

"But, Momma, she's LOUD," Alexandra proclaimed. B'Elanna laughed. Xandra rolled over and saw the EMH, working quietly next to them, monitoring her bioreadings. "Not like him. He's quiet." The doctor looked up, a sad look on his face. He rolled his eyes and shrugged, dismissing his feelings.

"That's because I'm a hologram. I'm not real." Alexandra scrunched up her nose.

"Yes you are. I can still hear you, if I concentrate." At this, the Doctor looked startled.

"You can?"

"Yup." The EMH looked at Jessica for confirmation and she gave it with a small nod.

"You've seemed to develop a little bit since I last saw you. You feel like Commander Data in my head, only grumpier." Jessica smirked at him. He resumed working, ignoring her comment, but considerably more cheerful.

"Well, it would appear that I've managed to perform yet another medical miracle. Your daughter will be just fine after a day or so of bed rest." Jessica smiled and thanked the doctor, then turned to Xandra, who was already drifting back off to sleep.  
…

Seven glared at the instrument panel in front of her, resisting the urge to remove the casing and assimilate it to force results from it. She stepped away from it and sighed. No matter how she adjusted it, the Paraepersk would not register. She stepped forward again and split the screen in front of her to show the projected course of the ship they were pursuing. She glanced over at the empty space where her calculations indicated the alien ship should be and resumed scanning that sector of space.

After another hour, she realized that her frustration was interfering in her calculations and she decided to take a break. She instructed the computer to continue scanning on all frequencies and left Astrometrics, her mind still trying to work out another method of detection or another frequency on which to scan.

She ended up in front of B'Elanna's quarters. Moments later, she had B'Elanna. Frustration drained into the soft lips, tasting vaguely of the banana pancakes she had just finished, it being oh-six hundred. Hair slid through her fingers, ghostly trails sending shivers down her spine. Seven felt her hands slide down B'Elanna's spine, her right hand trailing to her ribs and brushing gently across her breasts, evoking a gasp from her love. Seven just left her hand there, reveling in the slight weight against her palm, exploring B'Elanna's mouth with her own, feeling teeth and tongue like a connection she never knew could exist.

"I must stop," Seven said, startling herself.

"What? Why?" B'Elanna asked.

"Because if I don't, I do not believe I will be able to and we have not discussed this—"

"I don't want to discuss anything, Seven. I just want to feel you." Seven gasped as B'Elanna touched her ribs, sliding her hands up and around. With the next touch of the soft lips to her own, Seven knew that her world had changed and would never be the same. She was home.

** _To be continued…_**


	22. I'll be forever, I'll be tomorrow

Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 20 title is is from "Dried Up, Tied And Dead To The World" by Marilyn Manson, whom I don't think anyone owns.

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama

Codes: K/7, T/7

Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

Extra Disclaiming Note: All chapter titles are NOT owned by me and are owned, respectively, by the bands who wrote/played them and their record companies.

* * *

**Home, Chapter 20**

_I'll be your lover, I'll be forever, I'll be tomorrow... _

* * *

"It wasn't always about chocolate and rainbows." Seven sat up in bed, startled. Who had said that? She looked over at B'Elanna, sleeping quietly, the entire sheet wrapped around her like a great tortilla. She realized she had been dreaming. She shook off the dream and leaned down to kiss B'Elanna awake. The woman groaned and wrinkled her nose adorably. "I must begin my shift," Seven said quietly. B'Elanna responded by rolling over and wrapping her body around Seven, pinning her effectively to the bed. After a week, Seven had thought B'Elanna might tire of this tactic, but was pleased to see she hadn't. "I love you, too, but I must—" 

"Lay here and cuddle me."

"Obviously." Seven answered, smiling slightly. She carefully disengaged herself from B'Elanna's grasp, kissing her over and over in an effort to distract her (and for the pure joy of it). Finally, she was free and began dressing. B'Elanna watched for a few minutes, then got up and joined her in the land of not-naked. Seven mourned briefly.

In the last week, they had fine tuned the antimatter torpedoes and learned nothing about tracking their enemy. Ship's efficiency was at 120, but… they didn't rest easy. Luii had caught up and sent back the non-essential Shashans to their homes, staying on with Voyager and Jessica. He had brought their daughter with him, the only child they had borne together. She was an odd black and white spotted mix, with Jessica's golden hair and Luii's red spots. A winged unicorn graced her throat as her House mark.

The couple walked out of B'Elanna's quarters just as something hit the ship. Seven caught B'Elanna before she hit the wall. They ran for the lift. Seven got off on the floor for Astrometrics, pecking a kiss on B'Elanna as she left. She jogged to her station and stopped when the Red Alert Klaxon was accompanied by Janeway's call for all Bridge officers to their stations. She turned and ran back for the lift, waiting a few moments for it to return. The ship rocked again and she was tossed to the floor. She heard as well as felt the torpedoes fire. There was an extra rumble as the shielding of the altered weapons ground against the tubes. The Paraepersk. Visions of the sensor readings and what was left of the Shashan ship flashed through Seven's mind. A shiver of terror ran up her spine. She fell out onto the bridge unceremoniously when the ship was struck again.

"Our shields aren't going to hold!" Harry screamed. Seven worked the controls as fast as she could, but the ship wasn't there! She wanted to hit something—no doubt a reaction caused by the bad influence of her significant other. But she couldn't find anything to hit.

"Fire!" Again the rumble, then a shockwave as the shot hit home.

"We have made contact," Tuvok announced, unnecessarily. More were fired, more hit their mark, and Voyager exploded around them. Then suddenly, it was over. The viewscreen showed the ship, black and near invisible, fleeing.

"We didn't die, now did we, you bastards!" Janeway exclaimed, shoving her tousled hair behind her ear.

"Their proclamation does seem to have been made false," Tuvok agreed. Seven didn't know why, but she laughed. Eyes traveled to her, but she started them down, a small smile on her face. She had the Paraepersk ship's subspace signature. She had every right to be happy.

…

"We aren't very far from the Dyrakel. We have to assume that whatever the Paraepersk have in mind—"

"They want to rule the universe." Jessica was matter-of-fact in her statement. No one argued.

"Thank you, Queen Obvious," B'Elanna muttered. Jessica stuck out her tongue.

"They are most likely going to destroy the entire planet," Kathryn finished, a little perturbed. "We have to stop that, at any cost. But Voyager's warp engines are down. It could be days before we get there."

"So you send a hunting party, with just one of those damn torpedoes. I'll put it on the ship myself this time," Jessica said.

"You can't shift through their shields," Luii admonished. Jessica shrugged.

"They won't know we're there."

"You can't fool sensors—" Luii continued.

"I can make them not able to read their sensors—"

"An entire ship? You'd be drained—"

"If my ancestor can think someone out of existence, then I can—"

"Enough!" Everyone turned to Captain Janeway. "We have to stop them, Prime Directive or anything else be damned. I will not watch genocide or take the chance that these beings will take over control of the universe, change the fabric of space/time or whatever they are after. I will not do it and there will be no debate over the subject." Kathryn took a deep breath and continued. "I will pilot the shuttle. Jessica will come with me. Anyone else is a volunteer, but to be honest, I need B'Elanna's expertise on the torpedoes and Seven's sensor data." Seven and B'Elanna nodded their willingness to 'volunteer'. "Chakotay, Tuvok, you are needed on this ship and I cannot let you accompany us," Janeway continued, cutting the two men off. Tuvok merely raised an eyebrow. Chakotay nodded, seeing that this was not the time to argue.

"Then it's settled. Let's go," Jessica said, rising. Everyone rose.

"Meet in shuttlebay one in thirty minutes. Dismissed."

…

Everyone had people to say goodbye to, or write those 'just-in-case' letters to. Even Seven said good-bye to Icheb, Naomi and Neelix before spending fifteen minutes 'saying hello' with B'Elanna. They barely arrived in time, B'Elanna still checking to make sure her uniform was straight. Jessica wiggled an eyebrow at B'Elanna, who ignored her, pointedly.

They boarded the shuttle and took off, no problems. Seven tracked the ship and within an hour, they had caught up. None of them had expected it all to happen so fast, but they were staring down the black ship's hull as B'Elanna aligned the shields to the specifications Jessica stole from the Paraepersk operations officer and they slipped in, seemingly unnoticed.

Jessica prepared to place the torpedo as B'Elanna finished up the last adjustments on the timer. There was a thick air of apprehension laying like a blanket over the four women. Jessica was drumming her claws on the space suit whose helmet she has yet to don when they were hit. The shuttle dislodged from the hull and every woman dove to her station.

"They're throwing mines from the windows," Jessica said. She had taken the tactical/operations stations, the ones she had trained for in Starfleet. Another hit the unshielded shuttle before Jessica finished keying in the shielding sequence. They had been running on minimum power to avoid detection, which was apparently wasted. The station in front of Seven blew, sending the former drone flying into the captain, who hit her head on a bulkhead and fell, unconscious, to the floor. Seven wasn't moving.

Jessica had the shields up now and had time to look over at Seven, cradled in B'Elanna's arms. Seven was going to die, Jessica knew. She sat there, concentrating, and time slipped away. She stood and walked over to the pair, watching B'Elanna move painfully slowly to look at her. She came back into time and knelt by the couple.

"Give me a medkit, fast!" B'Elanna yelled. Jessica looked sadly at her, reaching out and touching Seven. Her mind shot into the drone's body, feeling the nanoprobe shutdown, the beginnings of organ failure. Nothing a medkit could fix. Hell, she wasn't sure that the doctor could. She let it show in her eyes. B'Elanna shrunk back, pulling Seven closer. "No! Give me—" Obediently, Jessica handed over a medical tricorder from the kit. B'Elanna began scanning, tears running down her face. Seven's eyes opened.

"B'El—" Seven managed, then sighed and gasped. B'Elanna looked at Jessica.

"Fix her." Jessica looked at B'Elanna. "Now!"

"She wouldn't want that, Bel. You don't want me—"

"Don't fucking tell me what I want or don't want and I don't give a **_fuck_** what she wants. You fix her, **_now_**!" Seven looked at Jessica, fear in her eyes. Jessica sagged. Anything for a zhanal, even one from long ago. She could never say no to someone she loved. She let the fangs descend, felt the toxin swell in her sacs.

"This will hurt," Jessica told Seven. "But the doctor knows how to reverse it." The ship shook and B'Elanna looked at the panel readings.

"Voyager is here. And we're at the anomaly." Jessica's teeth sank into Seven's tender flesh at her neck. She released the toxin. Seven buckled and began to scream as the neurotoxin began attacking her red blood cells. Jessica ripped open her vein and pressed it to Seven's mouth. At first, the ex-Borg spat it out, but as she felt the pain receding in response to the already converted blood, she latched on. Her wounds began healing, though her nanoprobes began rejecting, bleeding from her skin like sweat. She hungrily took the blood, not noticing that Jessica was becoming weaker and weaker.

B'Elanna noticed. She had her eyes locked with Jessica's, watching the color pale and leave. She felt her heart rip in two as Jessica fulfilled her request. At the last moment, Seven sat up, her blue eyes glowing. She opened her mouth to speak, but all B'Elanna saw was the two new little fangs that had grown. Just like a vampire. Jessica got up, obviously barely able to move. The torpedo disappeared. B'Elanna looked at her.

"No—" but it was too late. She was sitting on Voyager, in the middle of the infirmary with Janeway and Seven. She ran for the bridge. Once there, she watched as the Paraepersk ship drifted, a huge hole in its side, caused by that torpedo, towards the anomaly. She cried as it slid in and disappeared. She heard in her mind, every crew member heard:

"_Make a wish. Wish that Voyager was Home…_" And then they were. B'Elanna screamed and fell to the deck, pounding it with both her fists. She felt someone lift her, restraining her and barely noticed Tuvok holding her, not tightly. She felt the calm of his mind brush hers lightly, knowing it was a residual of the Shashan's power that she left when she died.

…

"It happened so fast."

"Starfleet is sending the Enterprise to welcome us home."

"Oh, god, how can I see it? It was her first home…"

"She's in a better place, B'Elanna. You know that she suffered every day here. She would rather have gone out like that than to have died from some stupid disease." B'Elanna looked up at Harry.

"I don't want her to be dead."

"She saved me." Every eye turned to Seven. "In every way I could ever have been saved." Seven no longer had to regenerate—her Borg systems had been fried by the explosion and the vennst toxin had healed her of the rest. She was human. "I, too, mourn her death."

"Whose death?" asked a small voice. Seven, B'Elanna and Harry all looked down at Alexandra. She was dressed in white and somehow, looked regal, despite her small stature.

"Your mother's," B'Elanna answered, a little confused. Xandra laughed.

"My mother's not dead." All eyes turned to her. "She entered the anomaly alive. I heard her wish to be free of the Vaggimort. Then I felt her everywhere."

"What do you mean?"

"My mother isn't dead. She changed. She moved on." Alexandra was obviously struggling to put the concept into words. She shrugged and walked off, but paused long enough to answer one last question.

"Will we ever see her again?" B'Elanna asked.

"She'll always be there. Tomorrow."

* * *

_Epilogue_: The Maquis Members of the Voyager crew were given a pardon and those who chose to keep their field ranks were allowed to. Kathryn Janeway was promoted to Admiral and teaches a course on the Delta Quadrant at Starfleet Academy, as well as Borg Studies. Tuvok returned home to his wife and children, leaving Starfleet. Chakotay earned a command of his own, having his Captaincy reinstated. Neelix opened a restaurant that is frequented by Ferengi, Klingons, Romulans and Trill the most, although all races are welcome and it is renowned for its neutrality. Lieutenant Kim became the operations officer for the Enterprise E, following the destruction of its previous officer. B'Elanna Torres and Seven of Nine were married and assigned to the starship Dracco, designed by Lieutenant Torres herself. 

All other members of Voyager were reunited with their families and reassigned. Icheb entered the Academy after passing the entrance exams and is majoring in the new field of Astrometrics.

**_The End._**


End file.
